I haven't been sleeping that great of late. Maybe it's the thousand things running through my head all day that just won't settle down when I'm ready to go to sleep.
I can literally lie in bed for hours, doing my best to relax, reading something boring on the Kindle (I download certain titles expressly for this purpose), and still not get sleepy.
It's not that I'm not tired either. I am. Extremely. Probably due in large part to the fact that I'm routinely not getting much sleep. But I digress.
On further reflection, I'm sure it's all those thoughts that won't let me sleep.
I'm constantly thinking about the great remodeling project that's in its third (or is it fourth?) week and still isn't quite finished. There are tons of decisions to make every day on this, and most of them involve more money being paid out. Don't get me wrong -- the guy we've got doing all the work is extremely fair and honest with us. But unforeseen things happen. Like when you buy a standard counter top assuming it will work for your bathroom counters, only to find that your bathroom counters are in no way, shape, form, or fashion the standard depth, and what you bought won't work. Or when you (by you, I mean my clumsy-tail self) stub your toe on the toilet tank cover, which was leaning innocently against the wall, and break it cleanly into three pieces, then you find out you can't really buy just a replacement tank cover, you have to buy a whole new toilet. Great news, that.
Then I'm thinking about the two (or is it three? yes, definitely three) books I'm writing a little more of each day, and trying to craft them as best as I am able so people (like you, Faithful Reader?) will want to read them once they're published.
I'm thinking about work, and how I've missed several hours over the past few weeks, from waiting for or going to meet with our contractor at home, or making supplies runs to Lowe's on my lunch break, which inevitably take more than the allotted hour. And I'm wondering how and when I'm going to make all this time up, when I still have to do more of the waiting and meeting and supply runs over the next week or two, and I'm just going to be digging myself a bigger hole. I don't want to use my vacation time if I don't have to, because that's already limited enough as it is. Besides all that, I'm trying to tune out all this other stuff while I'm at work, so I can be as productive as possible while I'm there. That isn't always easy, either.
Whenever I'm not doing all that, I'm pushing myself to finish reading The Hunger Games so we can go see the movie while it's still in the theaters (I'm 65% done with it now, so I think it's going to happen, but we'll see).
All of this insomnia leads me to the appointed hour in the morning (usually no later than 5:30 am) when dueling alarm clocks wake me from slumber (which was eventually achieved, albeit not for long) and I rue the day (quite literally) before it's even gotten started. I must add that I don't say "dueling alarm clocks" flippantly. These things are somehow perfectly synced (we didn't do it on purpose, I swear!) that when the first one goes off -- "deet-deet" -- the second one immediately answers it -- "deet deet". It's almost like one big stupid alarm clock going off in stereo -- "deet-deet", "deet-deet", "deet-deet", "deet-deet", ad infinitum. I wake up -- eventually -- grumpy, unwilling, and unready to face the day. Not even hitting the snooze button helps, because eight minutes later the cacophony begins again.
And so it goes. I know I'm not alone in my animosity toward all things "deet-deet", my annoyance in unsuccessfully seeking slumber, and the rampant thoughts I'm unable to keep in check. But knowing I'm not alone doesn't make it any easier, or any better.
The remodeling project will soon be over. My books will soon be finished and ready to share with the world. One day I'll catch up on the lost hours and delayed work at my job. But until that happens, I'll have to power through this junk, suck it up, and just live as best I can. It's not like I can do anything about it anyway....