Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm Feeling Weird Today – Don't Say I Didn't Warn You...

I didn't sleep very well last night. We went to bed around 8:30, while it was still partially light outside. I wasn't sleepy, but my wife was, and the couch isn't comfy enough for casual napping.

Mary was in and out of sleep while I read till about 12:30. I finished reading three short books on my Kindle. One was really interesting, one was pretty awful, and the other one was just okay. I barely made a dent in the other 9 books I'm reading right now. (Yes, 9 at a time. Do I have A.D.D.?)

Also, we had a midnight snack – literally, we ate some crackers at midnight. Mary also had a small bowl of cereal (Honey Nut Cheerios). I didn't feel like cereal.

When I finally got to sleep, I dreamed about calling the Chrysler dealership to get my van worked on. I don't normally take it there. A guy I know at my church who has his own shop is much more reasonable and trustworthy, so I usually just take it there.

Anyway, in the dream I'm telling the guy at Chrysler all the things that might need to be fixed and that a general overall checkup of the van would probably also be a good idea.

While making this call, I'm sitting on the curb at the intersection of Greenville Boulevard and Memorial Drive (for you out-of-towners, I'm talking about Greenville here).

As the guy on the phone gives me estimates on each thing to be repaired, I'm writing down the prices in chalk on the road (the Memorial Drive side, if you must know).

The guy tells me it's going to be approximately $1,546 to fix everything. I don't know how he comes to this figure exactly, but it's exorbitant in my opinion.

I write the number down in chalk just as a gray-and-black Chevy comes around the corner – it kind of looks like an unmarked Highway Patrol car. I have to quickly scurry out of the way to avoid getting hit by the Chevy.

I drop my chalk in the process, which promptly gets crushed under the Chevy's speeding tires.

At this point, I wake up. I'm confused, and a little nervous. After all, I've just been nearly hit by a car in my sleep. This is traumatic.

Apparently, I've been slobbering on my pillow. That's kind of gross.

A few snooze-button smacks later, and we're up and at 'em. (What does that phrase mean exactly? Up and at who? Or should I say "whom"?)

I check my morning websites. Facebook to see if I have any notifications worth noting, and to catch up on my moves in the many Words With Friends games I'm playing. I check this blog to see how many people aren't reading it. – both the MP3 and Kindle stores. for baseball scores and a quick glance at the NBA scores, which I sort of care about but mostly don't. Smashwords and Feedbooks for any new, interesting e-books that were released during my sleep. Gmail – to see if I have any emails. (I don't.)

While I'm doing all that, I'm also watching the two episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show that I DVR'd yesterday. I haven't seen these shows in years. They're still funny some fifty years after they originally aired.

I'm also brewing a pot of coffee. Starbucks brand, not because I have to have "the best." Because it was on sale last week. It smells kind of awful in the bag, but once I brew it and add a little Peppermint Mocha creamer and three Splendas, it tastes just fine.

Slowly I wake up. Time to start the day in earnest, which means a shower. I can get by without shaving for one day. No, I can't. So I do, and I'm well on my way to being late for work yet again.

Vaguely, I wonder if the $1,546 included the oil change, or if that was going to be extra. And also, if that really was an unmarked Highway Patrol car, who would I call if I got hit by it? Would he have stopped?

It strikes me that I haven't had any collards lately. Mary isn't going to be cooking up a batch of them anytime soon – just the smell of collards makes her nauseated. Cabbage too. I might have to make a little trip to Bum's in Ayden soon. Good stuff, that.

I don't know my lines for the VBS play, and Howard and I are practicing tonight. 65 lines in 4 weeks is pretty challenging. I have to be energetic.

This just hits me now – I have to be energetic at practice tonight. I have had far too little caffeine to be energetic in just a few hours.

I'll be right back...

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