Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Dumping My Brain For The Sake Of Sanity

Yes, this IS going to be one of those rambling posts when whatever comes into my head comes out. If you don't like these kinds of posts, you might want to stop reading now.

You're still here? That's good. Well, hang on!

I feel like a crazy person. I'm extremely moody, and I don't know why. I've been having irrational outbursts of anger at seemingly random things and I can't seem to turn off that switch (and don't know what turned it on).

In the past 24 hours, I've slammed doors, peeled rubber (well, almost...), and all other sorts of childish behavior. And I want to stop. Like, now.

I should be happy. I'm going to be a father. So far, we've had a virtually complication-free pregnancy. We finished our home remodeling project a couple of months back, and we've finally (as of today) put our townhouse on the market. (You wanna buy it?) I still have a good job (though the work is sometimes annoying – whose isn't?).

So, what's the deal?

I wish I could tell you.

Getting the house finished up to be able to show it was more than a little stressful. We didn't get as much done this past weekend as we'd hoped, so it was left to me first thing in the morning, and Mary for the majority of the day yesterday to finish everything up. And we still didn't finish it. This morning we did, but not without much rushing and considerable tardiness to work.

Maintaining its pristine look while still living in the house (with three cats, mind you) is going to be ongoing stress. At any time, it could be shown, so it always has to look ready. We're hoping it will sell fast. (You wanna buy it?)

I finally finished a particularly difficult batch of copy today, which I'd been laboring over for the better part of a week. And there's plenty more work left on my plate now that those are done. It never stops. Which is job security, but just that much more stress.

My toes hurt. Both the biggest one and the smallest one on my left foot. The great toe appears to be trying to become ingrown. Great, toe, just what I needed! I injured the pinky toe this past Saturday while vacuuming the stairs. I was backing down the stairs as I vacuumed, and thought I'd reached the floor. I tried to plant my foot (without looking) and realized – too late! – that I was skipping a step and falling backwards onto the vacuum cleaner. My left foot slammed into the vacuum hose (which doesn't sound like it should hurt, but it does) and the pinky toe was injured (broken? sprained? jammed?) in the process. Now my pinky is red and swollen and quite painful. Sometimes I take my shoes off at my desk to let my feet breathe (which I realize is, technically, impossible – but still...).

After sporadic searching over several months, I finally found four scripts that I like for the Night of Drama production. They are currently in the inbox of our associate pastor, who will read them and give them the thumbs up or thumbs down. From there, we'll do auditions and start practicing for our production in late October (the 21st, if you care). This will be fun – it always is – but it will also be stressful (it always is). But at least I know that going into it.

I'm getting more and more impatient as I get older. I hate driving in heavy traffic or behind, in front of, or beside slow and/or stupid drivers. Seriously, some people should have their licenses revoked for their blatant lack of intelligence and/or attention while operating a motor vehicle.

Today is the 213th straight day that I have posted a blog entry. That sort of blows my mind, and then again it doesn't. It hasn't been nearly as easy as I thought it would be. It hasn't been nearly as hard, either. I find that I am often full of great ideas. And just as often I'm tapped out. Knowing that people like you (if you're still reading this, "people like you" definitely applies) are reading what I have to say inspires me to keep going. Sometimes (the past three days, for example) very few people choose to read what I've posted. I know because I check my "stats" obsessively. This disheartens me, and yet I understand. People are busy. More important things (which is pretty much everything else) prevent them from being able to set aside time to read.

I'm getting my hair cut today. I had an appointment scheduled for two weeks ago, but I remembered a week and a half afterwards that I had missed it, and had to reschedule. This is not the first time this has happened. I would say my memory is about as long as my hair, but (right now, at least) that would not be true. My memory is shorter than my hair, which isn't even that long really, so that's saying something.

Target has "SPAM" notebooks in their Dollar Spot now. I bought three different ones on Sunday. I didn't need them, but I wanted them. I've always been a big fan of "SPAM" – not of eating it, mind you, just of the product in general. It's sort of a "cult classic" thing – "SPAM" is cool simply because it is. I've never owned a "SPAM" t-shirt, but that's only because I never ran across one in my size. But I do have the "SPAM" notebooks now, which I'll probably use for either sermon notes or drama notes as we transition into practices in just a few weeks.

I put ridiculous Post-It notes on the outside of my office door every day. Since I usually keep my door shut (I work like a hermit), whomever comes to my door (it doesn't happen often) sees the note before they see me. I'm surprised more people don't come in rolling their eyes in my direction, 'cause some of these notes are really stupid. Here are a few examples:
* "Knock Louder, I Can't Hear You"
* "Every Thursday Is The Same – Work, Work, Work! (sigh)"
* "This Note Doesn't Say Anything Important."
* "Smile! It's STILL Not Tuesday!"
* "Out To Lunch – Will Return Monday."
* "I Probably Can't Hear You Knocking, Just Come On In..."
* "Whatever You Do, Do NOT Read This Post-It Note!"
* "Misery Loves Company. Come On In!"
...and today's note:
* "This Is A No Tap-Dancing Zone. Please Do Not Tap-Dance In This Area."

Yeah, I know. Utterly ludicrous.

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