Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Things I Find Fascinating: Cackle-Worthy Classified Ads

I worked in the classifieds department of the local newspaper here for about four years. In that time, I heard and saw some crazy advertisements. But very few of those can match the kookiness of these. Don't think too much – just kick back and revel in the weirdness!

Yeah, but I bet you have to pay double for the torturing.

This does not compute. Wanna try that again?

Tired of working for next to nothing? 
Join our team and work for even less!

Tough decision. I mean, the cat doesn't have a job.

Whoa, Nelly!!!

There's gotta be a better way to word that...

Sounds like a fair deal to me.

Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!!!

$100 for a flag from the future? That's a steal!

That's a pretty good price if it's actually in excellent
condition. Incidentally, what the heck is it?

Hmm. I might have to check that out. Usually, the
bilingual cars are way more expensive than that.

If you'll throw in the assault rifles at no
extra cost, you've got yourself a deal!

I don't know about Fluffy, but I'm certain
that Thumper is not going to like this one bit!

Define "slight" for me, if you don't mind.

Who doesn't have indoor plumbing in this day and age?

It's so not worth it at that price!

Imagine that!

"Good with children?" quips Mr. Giggles.
"Oh yeah, I'm good with children. Slather a
little ketchup and mustard on 'em and they
taste just like chicken. Yummy to my tummy!"

What I want to know is, why doesn't Homer
need it anymore? Zombie apocalypse, anyone?

Why didn't I think of that? And we just made
tetrazzini with our leftover turkey! Duh!"

Don't get all sentimental on me here! I mean, really,
you've still got another arm, don't you? Quit whining!

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