Friday, December 27, 2013

"Strong" & "Weak" Songs

You didn't really believe all those empty promises I made about trying to cut back on – and yes, even stop – doing "Opposites" music posts, did you? If so, you should have known better. Or else you weren't paying good attention. I'm obsessed! Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Sanctus Real  ~  "Strong Enough To Save"

2)  Skunk Anansie  ~  "Weak"

3)  Saxon  ~  "Strong Arm Of The Law"

4)  SWV  ~  "Weak"

5)  Travis Tritt  ~  "Strong Enough To Be Your Man"

6)  Belinda Carlisle  ~  "I Get Weak"

7)  Cyndi Lauper  ~  "I'm Gonna Be Strong"

8)  Melanie C.  ~  "Weak"

9)  Kutless  ~  "Strong Tower"

10)  Cock Robin  ~  "When Your Heart Is Weak"

11)  LeAnn Rimes  ~  "Strong"

12)  Konshens  ~  "Weak"

13)  Will Hoge  ~  "Strong"

14)  Britny Fox  ~  "Save The Weak"

15)  Rick Astley  ~  "It Would Take A Strong, Strong Man"

16)  Serena Ryder  ~  "Weak In The Knees"

17)  Apocalyptica ft. Doub Robb  ~  "Not Strong Enough"

18)  Aaron Leatherdale  ~  "The Weak Ones"

19)  Matthew Sweet  ~  "Strong Enough"

20)  So Kind Stacy  ~  "Too Weak"

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Biggest Hits Of 2013 That Never Made The Blog...Until Now

As frequent (or even casual) readers of this blog can attest, I have done a heckuva lot of music posts this year. Maybe I'm just on a music kick (okay, definitely I am) or maybe I just don't have much time to compile many other kinds of posts (that's true, too). Throughout the course of the year, I've posted a fair number of current hit songs – that's both coincidental and by design – but I did miss a few big ones here and there. Having thought of no better way to include the songs before year's end, I've gathered them all together here for your listening (and viewing) pleasure. Enjoy!   ~  JH

1)  AWOLNATION  ~  "Sail"  (Yes, technically, I did post an a cappella cover of this song a couple weeks ago, but in my book that doesn't count.)

2)  Katy Perry  ~  "Unconditionally"  (She has her faults, topically and lyrically speaking, but I have to give Katy Perry props for crafting some really good pop songs.)

3)  Maroon 5  ~  "Love Somebody"  (I've heard this song I don't know how many times, but I'd never seen the video till now – it's weird. Good song, though!)

4)  P!nk  ~  "Try"  (P!nk never ceases to amaze me – she's consistently awesome!)

5)  The Band Perry  ~  "DONE."  (Good song by a good modern country band – but I really wish those brothers would get new hairdos – Ughsville!)

6)  Lady Gaga  ~  "Applause"  (Somewhat questionable video, but a catchy song – annoyingly so!)

7)  One Direction  ~  "Story Of My Life"  (I must grudgingly admit that this is a surprisingly good song!)

8)  Taylor Swift  ~  "I Knew You Were Trouble"  (I know I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I really like [and own most of] Taylor Swift's music – this song is no exception!)

9)  Baauer  ~  "Harlem Shake"  (Don't worry, there's no booty shaking in this video – it's audio only.)

10)  Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton  ~  "Can't Hold Us"  (I wish this guy didn't pepper the majority of his songs – this one mostly excluded – with foul language, because if so I would probably buy and listen to his music. Oh, well...)

11)  Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams  ~  "Get Lucky"  (It's an undeniably good tune, but I can't in good conscience recommend the lyrics. Big hit, though.)

12)  Eminem ft. Rihanna  ~  "The Monster"  (Sorry, music purists, I couldn't post the official music video for this one. It contained a couple of un-family-friendly words that weren't bleeped, and I prefer to keep it PG here.)

13)  Lady Antebellum  ~  "Downtown"  (This one's obviously meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and that's a good thing. 'Cuz if not…)

14)  Carrie Underwood  ~  "Two Black Cadillacs"  (A darker song for Carrie, but no less enjoyable than her cheerier hits. Sorry that Sound Of Music Live! thing didn't work out so well for you, chica…)

15)  Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX  ~  "I Love It"  (Again with this song, I couldn't post the original music video because of some uncensored lyrics, but the clean version is just as good – no, better! – to me, even if it's not actually a video.)

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BONUS TRACK:  Ylvis  ~  "The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)"  (Would you believe I never even heard this song till last week? I didn't say "heard of" – I first heard of it a few months ago, but had somehow managed to avoid it till recently. I'm sorry it took me so long to experience it, because the song is hilarious – not epic, but hilarious – as it was obviously intended to be.)

Friday, December 20, 2013

Heavy Metal Christmas Songs

This one goes out to all my metalhead friends. (Or should I say "fiends"?) Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and \m/ !!!  ~  JH

1)  Dez Fafara ft. Doug Aldrich, Blasko, & John Tempesta  ~  "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

2)  Ronnie James Dio ft. Tony Iommi  ~  "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

3)  Alice Cooper ft. Orianthi, Tommy Henriksen, Steve Hunter, Chuck Garric, & Glen Sobel  ~  "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

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4)  Iron Maiden  ~  "Another Rock And Roll Christmas"

5)  Pellek  ~  "The 12 Days Of Christmas"

6)  Guns N' Roses  ~  "White Christmas"

7)  August Burns Red  ~  "Jingle Bells"

8)  Twisted Sister  ~  "Silver Bells"

9)  ICON  ~  "Little Drummer Boy"

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10)  Joe Satriani  ~  "Silent Night, Holy Night"

11)  Steve Morse  ~  "Joy To The World"

12)  DOKKEN  ~  "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

13)  Lemmy Kilmister ft. Billy F. Gibbons & Dave Grohl  ~  "Run Rudolph Run"

14)  Oni Logan ft. Tony Franklin, John Tempesta, & Craig Goldy  ~  "Deck The Halls"

15)  Orion's Reign  ~  "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Weird Quotes About Beans And Rice

While we're on a "Weird" theme here, why not some weird food quotes too? Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  "I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."  ~  Mitch Hedberg, comedian

2)  "Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans and brains on the ceiling."  ~  Wavy Gravy, activist

3)  "The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything! Everyone should wear jeans and have three t-shirts, and eat rice and beans."  ~  Bill Hicks, comedian

4)  "There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans."  ~  Marcelene Cox, writer

5)  "Me, sexy? I'm just plain ol' beans and rice."  ~  Pam Grier, actress

6)  "Being in a band didn't buy me my beans on toast!"  ~  Alex Kapranos, musician

7)  "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."  ~  Mitch Hedberg, comedian

8)  "When my hoe tinkled against the stones, that music echoed to the woods and the sky, and was an accompaniment to my labor which yielded an instant and immeasurable crop. It was no longer beans that I hoed, nor I that hoed beans; and I remembered with as much pity as pride, my acquaintances who had gone to the city to attend the oratorios."  ~  Henry David Thoreau, writer

9)  "I am a bad, wicked man, but I am practicing moral self-purification; I don't eat meat anymore, I now eat rice cutlets."  ~  Vladimir Lenin, politician

10)  "Talk doesn't cook rice."  ~  Chinese Proverb

A Baker's Dozen Of "Weird Al" Parody Songs

Okay, so obviously the theme of the day is "Weird." Being a writer of several parody songs myself (maybe I'll share them here someday), I've always been a fan of "Weird Al" Yankovic. Not only are his songs spot-on at satirizing pop culture, they're also extremely well-done, technically speaking. With their numerous visual jokes, the music videos are so much better than just listening to the songs themselves. Here are 13 of "Weird Al"'s all-time best... Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  "Smells Like Nirvana"  (parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana)

2)  "Gump"  (parody of "Lump" by The Presidents of the United States of America)

3)  "Amish Paradise"  (parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio ft. L.V.)

4)  "Fat"  (parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson)

5)  "White & Nerdy"  (parody of "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone)

6)  "Headline News"  (parody of "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies)

7)  "Perform This Way"  (parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

8)  "Like A Surgeon"  (parody of "Like A Virgin" by Madonna)

9)  "I Love Rocky Road"  (parody of "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts)

10)  "Eat It"  (parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson)

11)  "Another Tattoo"  (parody of "Nothin' On You" by B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars)

12)  "Whatever You Like"  (parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.)

13)  "Party In The C.I.A."  (parody of "Party In The U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus)

Weird Christmas Songs!

It's the holiday season, so it's only appropriate that I post a gaggle of memorable Christmas tunes, right? Well...the songs in this collection are definitely memorable, but not always in a good way. Enjoy this wonderfully odd collection of Weird Christmas Songs. If you dare!  ~  JH

1)  Sufjan Stevens  ~  "Christmas Unicorn"

2)  Star Wars: Christmas In The Stars  ~  "What Can You Get A Wookiee For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb)?"

3)  RUN-DMC  ~  "Christmas In Hollis"

4)  James Brown  ~  "Santa Claus, Go Straight To The Ghetto"

5)  Lady Gaga ft. Space Cowboy  ~  "Christmas Tree"

6)  The Christmas Chids  ~  "Christmas Helmet"

7)  Akim & Teddy Vann  ~  "Santa Claus Is A Black Man"

8)  Debbie & The Darnells  ~  "Santa, Teach Me To Dance"

9)  The Little Stinkers  ~  "I Farted On Santa's Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me)"

10)  New Kids On The Block  ~  "Funky, Funky Christmas"

11)  The Killers  ~  "Don't Shoot Me, Santa"

12)  Important-Looking Pirates  ~  "I Hate Santa"

13)  "Weird Al" Yankovic  ~  "Christmas At Ground Zero"

14)  Gayla Peevey  ~  "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas"

15)  The Downer Party  ~  "Christmas Sucks In San Francisco"

16)  The Weather Girls  ~  "Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas)"

17)  Root Boy Slim & The Sex Change Band  ~  "Christmas At K-Mart"

18)  Ray Stevens  ~  "Santa Claus Is Watchin' You"

19)  Snoop Doggy Dogg ft. Daz Dillinger, Nate Dogg, Tray Deee, & Bad Azz  ~  "Santa Claus Goes Straight To The Ghetto"

20)  Elmo & Patsy  ~  "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"