Thursday, May 2, 2013

Weird Baseball Cards

 If he doesn't catch any fly balls with that 
monstrosity, Mickey deserves to be tarred 
and feathered and sent of out town on a rail.

Gino wasn't very good at swinging the bat, 
but he loved to pretend like he was a slugger.

 Oscar loves his bat. I mean, really LOVES it. Creepy!

 Back in the day, baseball players didn't get paid
ridiculous salaries like they do these days. So
owning simple things – like tweezers or razors,
for example – were a luxury that not everyone 
could afford. Case in point: Wally here.

I've heard of 'roid rage, but even for José 
Canseco, this is more than a bit ridiculous. 

 Jay keeps cool and dry in rainy weather 
with his one-of-a-kind beer-can umbrella hat.

 As it turns out, Oscar didn't do so well at the
plate. But his hair hit 17 homeruns all by itself.

If anyone ever looked like a Stubby
 Clapp, this guy certainly did!

 You too can win Rookie Of The Year 
by working out with a dinky little barbell 
like the one Mike here is lifting. And if 
you call in the next five minutes, we'll 
double your order! That's right, you get
two barbells for the price of one! Just pay 
separate shipping and handling. CALL NOW!

 Have you hugged your 
dugout today? Rex has!

"I'm hoping that if I wear this 
thing long enough, someone will 
swing by and bring me tacos."

 "Can you hear me now? Good. Look,
I need to get off this ginormous cell
phone now. They're taking my picture
for the baseball card. Yes, I'll remember:
Bread, eggs, and Blueberry Pop Tarts.
Okay, love you too, honey. Bye."

"Why couldn't they take the picture
after my haircut? I mean, is that too
much to ask, guys? I reckon it is."

 "I like big snakes, and I cannot lie..."

"Hey, Sailor."

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