Saturday, July 13, 2013

Creepy Mascots, Vol. 2: Major League Baseball Mascots

This being part two in a series, I don't feel like writing a brand new intro for this entry, so I copied and pasted mine from last time. Color me lazy. If you missed Vol. 1, you can read it here. Enjoy!  ~  JH

I've always found sports team mascots a bit creepy. Maybe it's the oversized heads, the fixed facial expressions, the in-your-face-ness that's inherent in their interaction with fans like me who'd rather be left alone. (I don't particularly care for clowns for many of the same reasons.) While I'm not explicitly afraid of mascots – that would be ridiculous! – I'm also not fond of them. So consider this miniseries of posts a "face your fears" – or, rather, "face your aversions" – exercise. Perhaps you'll get a laugh out of these, or perhaps a nightmare. Either way, here they are...
How about we score some runs around here? If not, I'll eat you all!
 D. Baxter The Bobcat
(Arizona Diamondbacks)

Most bunnies are cute. This one looks evil!
 Junction Jack
(Houston Astros)

Run, sausages, run! Far, far away from me!
 The Racing Sausages (left to right):  Frankie 
Furter, Guido, Brett Wurst, Cinco, and Stosh
(Milwaukee Brewers)

A mascot that eats his fans? Not a good PR move, in my opinion.
 The Phillie Phanatic
(Philadelphia Phillies)

The Reds have not 1, not 2, but 3 creepy mascots. This one attacks children for fun.
(Cincinnati Reds)

Look into my eyes. Now look into my mustache. You are getting very sleepy...
 Mr. Redlegs
(Cincinnati Reds)

No, Rosie, I don't want your autograph. And stop staring at me!
Rosie Red
(Cincinnati Reds)

Zombie Parrot is more like it. Stay away. Stay far away!
Pirate Parrot
(Pittsburgh Pirates)

Dude, don't look behind you! Better yet, run!!!
(Cleveland Indians)

A crown-headed lion wielding a life-size hot dog rocket? That doesn't sit well with me.
(Kansas City Royals)

Father, forgive me, for I am scared of you.
 The Swinging Friar
(San Diego Padres)

I am ominous-undetermined-green-thing. Hear me roar!
(Chicago White Sox)

See you in your dreams, kiddo! Make that your nightmares!
 Billy The Marlin
(Miami Marlins)

Hanging out with scowly-faced larger-than-life socks is not my idea of a good time.
Lefty and Righty
(Boston Red Sox)

Hold your horses! That is one creepy mascot!
 Rangers Captain
(Texas Rangers)

Not only is this a really strange idea in general, it's also more than a bit unnerving.
 The Pierogis (from left to right): JalapeƱo Hannah, 
Onion Oliver, Cheese Chester, & Sauerkraut Saul
(Pittsburgh Pirates)

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