Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Literal Interpretation Of Lil Wayne's "6 Foot 7 Foot"

Much as I have done previously here, this is a literal interpretation of the lyrics of an otherwise foul-mouthed song by rapper Lil Wayne. All the objectionable words and phrases have been taken out and replaced with more innocuous words and phrases. Slang language has been translated into common English. The result is...well, kind of hilarious. I think so at least. Enjoy?  ~  JH

"6 Foot 7 Foot"
(feat. Cory Gunz)

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster
Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

[Lil Wayne - Verse 1]
Pardon my appeal
I would like a vodka with a spritzer.
My confidence is outstanding
You can call this rap "Patricia."
Army of youthful wealthy folk
I am the commissioner.
You do not wish to provoke me
Because "F" stands for "Finisher."
I am greatly misunderstood
But the world needs riddles.
I entertain two female dogs simultaneously
Like synchronized swimmers.
I have caused this woman to become confused.
Spin this woman around
And she will become more open-minded.
I have never met this woman
But I greet her exuberantly
As though I had not seen her in a long time.
Life is like a woman, and Death is like her sister.
Sleep is like their cousin.
This is a remarkable family photograph.
You are familiar with Father Time.
We are all familiar with Mother Nature.
Everything is familial, but I am not related.
It does not matter who is the purchaser.
I celebrate myself, with black and white diamonds.
I am not in favor of segregation.
Forget all of that, I have lots of money.
You African-Americans are like Honey Nut Cheerios.
Youthful wealthy folk are in control.
You African-Americans will take second place.
I do not feel as though I have accomplished enough
So I will continue to do what I am currently doing.
My nicknames are Lil Tunechi and Young Tunafish.

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster
Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

[Lil Wayne - Verse 2]
I am going to continue now.
Alright, I became insane.
My brain is stranded somewhere out there.
I think you stand under me
If you don't understand me.
A woman named Tammy broke my heart.
But women will be women
So I did not blame Tammy for this.
I just telephoned my mother
And told her she was the sweetest person.
I assault the rhythm, but claim self-defense.
I assure you, these African-Americans
Are as transparent to me as sequins.
African-Americans see themselves as "He-Men."
Pow! Pow! It is finished.
I am my own consultant
Therefore I frequently converse with myself.
I am wedded to my wealth
Yet I have relations with the world.
This is adultery.
You are full of lies.
You shut your mouth
And allow your buttocks to speak.
Youthful wealthy folk are enjoying a meal.
All of you detractors simply add salt to it.
Stop goofing off, female dog.
I am in control of this game.
My mind is so sharp that I slip
And decapitate myself.
All day today and all of tomorrow
I am a genuine African-American.
But these people speak foolishly
As though they had fractured their jaws.
The glass is half empty, the glass is half full.
I will spill the contents of your glass.
If you attempt to test me
I will ram you into a wall
Like an outfielder in baseball.
You know that I am going to play basketball
Until they turn off the lights on the court.
I relish the fruits of my labor while they are still ripe.
Female dog, stop goofing off.
I rule like a king does.
If these African-Americans are animals
Then soon I will have a mink coat.
Tell those people that I said
To write my name on the wall.
I speak truthfully, but I suppose
To you it is like a foreign language.
I see things the way they really are
When I am wearing my glasses.
But most of you do not understand the photograph
Unless the flash was on when the picture was taken.
Nothing satisfies you, you only understand half of it.
Youthful wealthy folk.
Paper currency.
Constantly seeking wealth.
Please inform the money that I am in pursuit of it.
Female dog, real gangsters move stealthily like lasagna.
People deem me to be on the verge of insanity.
Almost, nearly.
I never sleep, therefore I am unable
To find the woman of my dreams.
You African-Americans are like gelatin
Like peanuts to an elephant.
I conquered that sentence like a subject and a predicate.
Yes, I possess confidence you would commit murder to have.
My wealth is so great that my pockets have to lift weights.
I leaped into a wishing well, so wish me well.
Tell the rest of them to smooch my buttocks.
We will call it kiss and tell.

[Cory Gunz – Verse 3]
Hello, Mother. I am out of my mind.
I do not want to understand what the fuss is all about.
I will take some Dramamine to settle my nerves.
Llamas scream more vehemently
Than the summer sun beats down on a queen of Ghana.
Now all I desire is to have hit songs
Wayne signed a contract with a dastardly person.
I took sides with you hypocritical African-Americans, you see?
Son of Gunz, Son of Sam, you African-Americans are my sons.
Pause while I make a ridiculous speech.
I glow like Buddha.
Bother me, and you will be all over these lyrics
Like Ludacris.
Female dog, I rap like a scuba diver.
Female dog, I am baldheaded like Cuba Gooding, Jr.
And I have a murderous woman
Who will plow right through you.
I will be flirting with women
And boasting about my wealth.
Now I am toting a gun
As though I worked for a moving company.
I shout to a tool for giving up
On behalf of my gun.
African-Americans think that they are as powerful as I am.
I simply laugh at their measuring stick.
Paper currency is brutal, female dog.
But our actions are far more brutal.
Wayne, these African-Americans are insane.
I have already informed these people numerous times
That I am constantly thinking about deer.
I tuck these things away.
I mess with your mind. Pause.
I feed them, as I work hard.
Did I gain any respect?
I continue to toss my sign into the center.
I confront them, while carrying my gun
Because I am not at peace, female dog.
I am a man, I visit urinals in other countries.
Tune instructed me to do so.
There is a funeral outside
But I continue to shoot at people.
I am a thoroughbred from uptown.
I am an African-American from The Bronx.
Do you understand me?

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