Monday, September 14, 2015

Best First Lines Of Weezer Songs


It's often been said that, in advertising or entertainment, you should "grab" the listener/viewer/reader with something that'll catch their attention from the get-go. The band Weezer is very good at this. Here's a smattering of the first few lines of some of their songs that are memorably ear-catching. Enjoy!  ~  JH


 
"My name is Jonas
I'm carrying the wheel
Thanks for all you've shown us
But this is how we feel…"



"My girl's got a big mouth
With which she blabbers a lot
She laughs at most everything
Whether it's funny or not…"



"What's with these homies dissing my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?"



"Somebody's hiney
Is crowdin' my icebox
Somebody's cold one
Is givin' me chills…"



"You are 18-year-old girl
Who live in small city of Japan
And you heard me on the radio
About one year ago…"



"When I look in the mirror
I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude
Staring back at me?"



"You half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time
Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello
And I'm Jello, baby…"



"Gothic flavor, how I miss you
If I only once could kiss you…"



"Take a listen around you
All the people that crowd around in your house
They be wantin'
To kill you in your sleep…"



"Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little whack
And my friends are just as screwy as me…"



"They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair
Work out at the gym to fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool
You'd hate for the kids to think that you've lost your cool…"



"When I was younger
I used to go and tip cows for fun, yeah
Actually I didn't do that
'Cuz I didn't want the cows to be sad…"



"I've been watching you, girl, from the back of my car
I see you're unsure of the place that you are
Groceries spillin' up out of your bag
Thinkin' you'll end up a penniless hag…"



"How am I going to
Deliver you a mountain size of love?
How do oceans connected by a straw
Get something through?"



"The moon was shining on the lake at night
The Slayer t-shirt fit the scene just right
Your smeared mascara
I looked into your eyes and saw a light…"



"I thought tonight would suck like every other night
I'd party with my friends
But when I saw you grooving on the dance floor
Normal came to an end…"



"I told you that you would put on some weight
You went out with somebody named Kevin Green
You preferred to go to a volleyball game
I told you that you couldn't be more lame…"



"I have a friend and it's an earthworm
It burrows underground deep within the soil
Sometimes when it rains it comes out
and we talk about our day…"



"Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, yeah
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, yeah
Suck a thumb, suck a thumb, suck a thumb
Suck that thumb, yeah…"


"Darling, I'm afraid to close my eyes
When I'm going to bed
I'm afraid you'll crack the phone
Down over my head…"

Thursday, September 10, 2015

A Literal Interpretation Of Snoop Dogg's "Who Am I (What's My Name?)"


We've been down this road before, but for the uninitiated, here is a word-for-word "translation," as it were, of a popular hip-hop song from the past. Illuminated in this way, one can see the rampant vulgarity, self-stereotypes, and thoroughly insipid lyrics prominent throughout the song – and, by extension, throughout the genre of mainstream hip-hop. Granted, not all artists' songs are like this. But TOO many are. Enjoy?  ~  JH

BLOGGER'S NOTE: If you're interested in comparing the two (and/or you are not familiar with the song, the original (explicit) lyrics can be found here.



"Who Am I (What's My Name)?"
by Snoop Dogg


INTRO:
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…]
The Dogg Pound is at this location (the explosive device)
The Dogg Pound is at this location
Snoop Doggy Dogg (the explosive device)
Snoopy Doggy Dogg (Dogg)


VERSE 1:
From the depths of the sea, back to the neighborhood
Snoop Doggy Dogg, awesome, yes, but a protégé of Dr. Dre
I became a solo act on those buttocks, but there is no difference
Long Beach is the area from which I originate
Follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me
But be sure to keep a firm grip
1993 is the year for me to mess things up
So I am keeping nothing in reserve
And, incestuous fellow, I have five dollars on the twenty-dollar batch of marijuana
It is like that, and as a matter of fact (rat-tat-tat-tat)
Because I never hesitate to help an African-American lie down for a little while
Yes, so take a look at the manuscript
You see that it is necessary for us to talk about being gangsters
What is my incestuous name?


CHORUS:
Snoop Doggy Dogg (yes, yes, yes)
Snoop Doggy Dogg (the explosive device)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…]
(Dogg)


VERSE 2:
It's the front of the ship to the exclamation of amazement
Stealthily advancing – yes, you all
Snoop Doggy Dogg is in the incestuous house practically every day
Having bowel movements with my African-American associate, Mr. Dr. Dre
As I said before, African-Americans cannot trifle with this
And African-Americans cannot trifle with that
Excrement that I drop, because you know it never ends
Mr. 1-8-7 on an incestuous law enforcement officer
Tic-toc, never a Glock, just some African-Americans and a rooster
Stealing from incestuous individuals, then I murder them bloodily
Then I step through the fog and creep through the smog
Because I'm Snoop Doggy (who?) Doggy (what?) Doggy (Dogg)


CHORUS:
Snoop Doggy Dogg (yes, yes, yes)
Snoop Doggy Dogg (the explosive device)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] (the explosive device)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…]


VERSE 3:
Now extend your hands toward the incestuous sky
And wave them around apathetically
Yes, roll a marijuana joint and pour an alcoholic beverage
And watch where you step, because Doggy is stealing things
My bank account has a considerably high balance
My excrement is very successful and legitimate
At this time, I am currently on parole, and I like to stroll
With the Dogg Pound trailing behind me
And in the company of your female companion
Is where you are likely to find me
Lying around, acting like a gangster
She wants the African-American with the largest supply of salty snacks
And guess what? He is I, and I am him
Slim with the tilted brim
What is my incestuous name?


CHORUS:
Snoop Doggy Dogg (the explosive device)
Snoop Doggy Dogg 
Snoop Doggy Dogg (the explosive device)
Snoop Doggy Dogg (Dogg)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] 
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] (the explosive device)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…]
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] (the explosive device)
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] (the explosive device)
Doggy Dogg, Doggy Dogg, Doggy Dogg
[...A bunch of "words" that really aren't words at all…] (the explosive device)
What is his name? Snoop Dogg and the Dogg Pound
(Dogg) (the explosive device)
Oh, Snoopy Dogg, Snoopy Dogg, Snoopy Dogg (the explosive device)
Yes, yes (Dogg), I know his name
Come on, Snoopy, come on, Snoopy (the explosive device)
And the Dogg Pound
Snoopy Dogg (the explosive device) 
Snoopy Dogg, Snoopy Dogg (Dogg)
(Dogg, Nasty Dogg, Doggy Dogg)