More Funny Church Signs

I've posted funny church signs before, too, but not in a while. And, to the best of my knowledge, I haven't posted any of these particular signs. The worst part about these signs is that they all seem to be genuine. The best part about them is that they're extraordinarily funny. (In my opinion, at least.)  Have a laugh!  ~  JH

Why did you have to go and bring math into the equation?

Talk about keeping up with the times! How clever!

My guess is that the new "message" won't last quite as long.

That's probably true. And I'd probably deserve it.

Ooh, ooh, can you bless my lawnchair? It could use a pick-me-up.

Um...

I'm going to take a wild guess that this is not Chamillionaire's church.

Fortunately, He won't stop listening to you now that you are.

And polyester too. It's itchy and doesn't breathe well.

Drive 12 miles straight ahead. Do not pass "Go." Do not take Exit 157.

That's not saying much.

Whoa, Nelly!

It's churches like this that give Christians a bad name.

Ohhkay, why don't we switch the "T" and the "W"? Or

maybe the "F" and the "T"? Anything but that arrangement!

Psst, your vital signs are showing. And they're not good...

With Skittles? 'Cuz I love Skittles. And I'm feeling kinda munchy.

That's one way of putting it. There are nicer ways, though.

I hope this wasn't during Pastor Appreciation Month!

I'd have to check chapter and verse to verify it, but

I'm 99.99999999% certain that Jesus never said that!

Songs By Artists With Out-Of-This-World Names

So, I was listening to this song on the radio the other day, and the singer's name contained the name of a planet. Which got me thinking...what other artists/bands have outer-space-related names. As it turns out, I found quite a few. Enjoy?  ~  JH

1)  Freddie Mercury  ~  "The Great Pretender"

2)  Bruno Mars  ~  "When I Was Your Man"

3)  30 Seconds To Mars  ~  "The Kill (Bury Me)"

4)  Jupiter Rising  ~  "Electropop"

5)  Saturn  ~  "Kuch Nahin"  (a Pakistani hard rock band? – very cool!)

6)  Elephants From Neptune  ~  "Can't Come In"

7)  Empire Of The Sun  ~  "We Are The People"

8)  A Rocket To The Moon  ~  "Ever Enough"

9)  Walk The Moon  ~  "Anna Sun"

10)  Space  ~  "Female Of The Species"  (the 1990s English indie rock band)

11)  Space  ~  "Magic Fly"  (the 1970s French electronic music band)

12)  Galactic Cowboys  ~  "I'm Not Amused"

13)  Phantom Planet  ~  "California"

14)  Satellite  ~  "Say The Words"

15)  Bill Haley & His Comets  ~  "Hot Dog Buddy Buddy"

16)  The Asteroids Galaxy Tour  ~  "Major"

17)  Jefferson Starship  ~  "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"

18)  UFO  ~  "Lights Out"

More Funny Signs

I've done "Funny Signs" posts in the past, but to the best of my knowledge, these are all new to the blog. I don't know about you, but I never get tired of this stuff. Especially the ones that are obviously real and terribly thought-out. Enjoy!  ~  JH

Duly noted. If I doze off for a few minutes behind 

the wheel, it's good to know I won't miss anything.

Spelling. You're doing it wrong.

Take your own advice, Sign Maker.

This has got to be fake. If it isn't, someone has a very

sick sense of humor. So...why am I laughing right now?

"On purposes," however, are always welcome.

Truer words were never spoken.

Wouldn't it be easier to just, I dunno, lower the road?

Go away, Lady, we don't want you here!

Alrighty then...

Minnesota must be a really mean place to live.

Sheesh, what else won't they let you do there?

Nobody wants to see that. Nobody.

Unless you own the fence. Then you can make your own rules.

I know some illiterate ducks that are about to get arrested.

Cats, however, may be emptied wherever you (they) feel like it.

Unauthorized vehicles are strictly pro-ribbited.

At last, a shopping center for the whole family. (Not!)

Get your mind out of the gutter. It's a video store. It's

called "MEGAFLICKS." You can stop blushing now. 

What a shame! And the water looks so tempting too...

I think we all know some of the people 

for whom this rule was created.

No!!! Really??? I didn't even know that was possible!

"Bitter" & "Sweet" Songs

When will this madness, this virtual torrent of "Opposites" music posts, ever end? Answer: I don't know. I guess when I run out of opposites words. Which could take a while. Be patient. Meanwhile...enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  The Verve  ~  "Bitter Sweet Symphony"

2)  Guns N' Roses  ~  "Sweet Child O' Mine"

3)  Sleigh Bells  ~  "Bitter Rivals"

4)  Beyoncé  ~  "Sweet Dreams"

5)  Placebo  ~  "The Bitter End"

6)  Billy Idol  ~  "Sweet Sixteen"

7)  Zee Avi  ~  "Bitter Heart"

8)  Gabriella Cilmi  ~  "Sweet About Me"

9)  Cat Stevens  ~  "Bitter Blue"

10)  Jessie Ware  ~  "Sweet Talk"

11)  Sophie Ellis-Bextor  ~  "Bittersweet"

12)  Mariah Carey ft. Boyz II Men  ~  "One Sweet Day"

13)  Warrant  ~  "The Bitter Pill"

14)  Charley And Jesi  ~  "Sweet Darlin'"

15)  Midian  ~  "Bitter"

16)  The Temper Trap  ~  "Sweet Disposition"

17)  Deryl Dodd  ~  "A Bitter End"

18)  Mötley Crüe  ~  "Home Sweet Home"

19)  Mt. Desolation  ~  "Bitter Pill"

20)  Sarah McLachlan  ~  "Sweet Surrender"

Songs About America...But Not Really

Here's a collection of songs with "America," "U.S.A.," or some similar derivative in their titles, most of which have little or nothing to do with our country. In a future post, I'll put together a group of songs which actually mention America more than just in passing. But for now, this is all you get. Enjoy – or roll your eyes. Both responses could be justified.  ~ JH

1)  Demi Lovato  ~  "Made in the USA"

2)  Beach Boys  ~  "Surfin' USA"

3)  Cimorelli  ~  "Made In America"

4)  Bruce Springsteen  ~  "Born In The U.S.A."

5)  Miley Cyrus  ~  "Party In The U.S.A."

6)  Razorlight  ~  "America"

7)  Victorious Cast ft. Victoria Justice  ~  "Make It In America"

8)  Alice Cooper  ~  "Lost In America"

9)  Bonnie McKee  ~  "American Girl"

10)  David Bowie ft. Nine Inch Nails  ~  "I'm Afraid Of Americans"

11)  Kim Wilde  ~  "Kids In America"

12)  Jedward  ~  "Miss America"

13)  Jimmy Eat World  ~  "Bleed American"

14)  Brad Paisley  ~  "American Saturday Night"

15)  Don McLean  ~  "American Pie"

16)  Lady Antebellum  ~  "American Honey"

17)  Natalie McCool  ~  "America"

18)  Casting Crowns  ~  "American Dream"

19)  Dave Matthews Band  ~  "American Baby"

20)  Electric Light Orchestra  ~  "Calling America"