18 People I'll Bet You Didn't Know Were From Oregon

1)  NDAMUKONG SUH, football player

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  Suh is a defensive tackle for the Detroit Lions of the NFL. Ndamukong is well-suited for the job that he is paid to do, as he is an enormously large human being. He was born in Portland, Oregon.



2)  HOWARD HESSEMAN, actor

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  Hesseman is probably best known for his role as disc jockey "Johnny Fever" on the 1980s TV series WKRP In Cincinnati. Howard also starred as a schoolteacher in a later series, Head Of The Class. He was born in Lebanon, Oregon.



3)  PHIL KNIGHT, business magnate

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  If you've ever seen or worn a pair of Nike shoes, you're familiar with this guy's work. Knight is the co-founder and chairman of Nike, Inc., and previously served as its CEO. If you've ever bought a pair of Nikes, you've helped make this guy the multi-billionaire that he is today. Knight was born in Portland, Oregon.



4)  DANNY AINGE, basketball executive

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  Ainge is currently the President of Basketball Operations for the Boston Celtics. But he also used to be a pretty good athlete. In addition to his 15-year career in the NBA, Danny also spent parts of three seasons playing professional baseball for the Toronto Blue Jays. Ainge was born in Eugene, Oregon.



5)  BEVERLY CLEARY, author

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO SHE IS:  Cleary is an award-winning writer of more than 30 books for young adults and children. Among her most popular works are The Mouse And The Motorcycle; Ramona Quimby, Age 8; and my personal favorite, Dear Mr. Henshaw. Beverly was born in McMinnville, Oregon.



6)  MATT GROENING, cartoonist

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  Groening is a cartoonist, screenwriter, and producer who's best known as the creator of two popular animated TV series, The Simpsons and Futurama. Matt was born in Portland, Oregon.

7)  ESPERANZA SPALDING, musician

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO SHE IS:  Esperanza is a multi-instrumentalist best known as a jazz bassist and singer. In 2011, Spalding won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist, making her the first jazz artist to win that award. Esperanza was born in Portland, Oregon.

8)  JANE POWELL, actress

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO SHE IS:  Jane gained fame as a singer, dancer, and actress in such classics as Royal Wedding (with Fred Astaire), A Date With Judy (with Elizabeth Taylor), and Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (with Howard Keel), among many others. Powell was born in Portland, Oregon.

9)  BRENT MUSBURGER, sportscaster

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  This guy has been a broadcaster for practically forever. He's covered games for the NFL, NASCAR, NBA, MLB, and NCAA football and basketball. An original member of CBS's The NFL Today program, Musburger now calls games for the ESPN and ABC television networks. Brent was born in Portland, Oregon.

10)  PINTO COLVIG, voice actor

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE WAS:  Originally a vaudeville and radio actor and newspaper cartoonist, Colvig's biggest claim to fame was as a voice actor. Pinto was the original voice of the famous Disney character "Goofy." Colvig was born in Jacksonville, Oregon.

11)  JAMES BEARD, chef/author

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE WAS:  A chef and food writer, James was a central figure in the establishment of a gourmet American food identity. Beard brought French cooking to the American middle and upper classes in the 1950s. He wrote over 20 books on cooking and food. Beard was born in Portland, Oregon.

12)  LISA RINNA, actress

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO SHE IS:  Rinna is well-known for her roles on TV soap operas Days Of Our Lives and Melrose Place, as well as being Harry Hamlin's wife (he was one of the stars of L.A. Law). But she may be best-known for her disproportionately large, almost comically plump lips. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're unmistakably Lisa's. She was born in Medford, Oregon.

13)  STEVE PREFONTAINE, runner

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE WAS:  Prefontaine was middle- and long-distance runner who once held the American record in the seven distance track events, from the 2,000 meters to the 10,000 meters. Tragically, Steve died at the age of 24 in a car accident. He was born in Eugene, Oregon.

14)  WILL VINTON, filmmaker

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  A producer and director of animated films, Vinton is famous for having created the "California Raisins," the Domino's Pizza "Noid," and the M&M's "Red," "Yellow," and "Green" characters. Will was nominated for an Oscar for his special effects work in the 1985 film Return To Oz. Vinton was born in McMinnville, Oregon.

15)  MAT KEARNEY, singer/songwriter

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  Still an up-and-coming singer, Kearney is probably best known for his hit song "Nothing Left To Lose," from his debut album by the same title. So far, Mat has had four top 20 hits on the Adult Top 40 charts, so his future's looking bright. Kearney was born in Eugene, Oregon.

16)  DALE MURPHY, baseball player

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE IS:  If you were an Atlanta Braves fan or just an avid baseball fan from the late '70s to the early '90s, you are probably familiar with Dale. A beloved member of the Braves for 15 seasons, Murphy closed out the final three years of his career playing for the Philadelphia Phillies and Colorado Rockies. A two-time National League MVP, Dale was born in Portland, Oregon.

17)  RIVER PHOENIX, actor

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO HE WAS:  The eldest member of a quintet of sibling actors that also includes current film star Joaquin, River appeared in 24 films and/or television shows in his brief yet successful career. Phoenix is best remembered for his roles in Explorers, Stand By Me, Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, and My Own Private Idaho. River died of drug-induced heart failure at 23 years of age. He was born in Metolius, Idaho.

18)  TONYA HARDING, figure skater

WHY YOU MIGHT KNOW WHO SHE IS:  A two-time Olympian and two-time Skate America Champion, Harding is probably best known for an incident in which her ex-husband and two others conspired to assault Tonya's skating competitor Nancy Kerrigan at a practice session during the 1994 U.S. Figure Skating Championships. It's a shame that this is her legacy – she probably should have been remembered for being the first American woman (and only the second woman ever) to complete a triple axel jump in competition. Tonya was born in Portland, Oregon.

Things I Find Fascinating: 4 OTHER Things That Happened On July 4th

1)  Two ex-Presidents, both among this nation's Founding Fathers, pass away on the same day in 1826.  The second and third U.S. Presidents -- John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, respectively -- both die on July 4th, 1826, the fiftieth anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

Thomas Jefferson

John Adams

2)  The people of France officially offer the Statue of Liberty to the people of the United States in 1886.  Frenchman Frédéric Bartholdi had designed the massive sculpture fifteen years earlier, but it took several years for him to complete it, and then even more time to actually get the statue shipped, piece by piece, to the United States to be assembled where it now stands.

The Statue of Liberty

3)  Baseball player Lou Gehrig, recently diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, tells a crowd at Yankee Stadium that he considers himself "the luckiest man on the face of the earth", as he announces his retirement from Major League Baseball in 1939. This horribly debilitating disease is now commonly referred to in the United States as Lou Gehrig's Disease, in honor of a national hero who bravely fought the disease.

4)  At West Point, New York, the United States Military Academy opens in 1802.  Most often referred to simply as "West Point," the academy has the longest continuous service of any United States military installation and is the nation's oldest military academy.

West Point

FAMOUS AMERICANS BORN ON JULY 4TH:
Nathaniel Hawthorne, writer  (The Scarlet Letter, The House Of The Seven Gables)
Stephen Foster, songwriter ("Oh Susanna!", "Camptown Races")
Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. President


FAMOUS AMERICANS WHO DIED ON JULY 4TH:
John Adams, 2nd U.S. President
Thomas Jefferson, 3rd U.S. President
James Monroe, 5th U.S. President
Hannibal Hamlin, U.S. Vice President (under President Lincoln)
Jesse Helms, U.S. Senator

Things I Find Fascinating: Unfortunately Titled Brand Names And Product Names

All the companies and/or products depicted below are, to the best of my knowledge, real. And all are, in my opinion, quite hilarious. Some of these are major instances of "What were they thinking?" and some are just that the person naming, designing, and/or labeling the product did not have a full grasp on the English language (i.e. English is not their "first" language). Hope you'll get as much of a kick out of these as I did...

Now available in three great new scents:
Lemon, Mountain Pine, and Rotting Carcass.

Naive is defined as "having or showing a lack of experience, judgment,
or information." The person who named this body lotion was merely
attempting to demonstrate that they fully understood the meaning of the word.

Small children wearing nothing but diapers. Name brand:
PEDO. This is a recipe for disaster; that's what this is.

This doll-inspired cell phone is utterly harmless.
Unless, of course, Benign Girl tries to use it to
text while driving her little red Camaro.
Don't do it, Benign Girl! Just. Don't. Do. It.

I've been playing guitar for almost twenty years now,
and I've never had to add water to or remove water
from my guitar. Sure, Mr. Love's "special high class
Guitar Water" is paint lead-free and non-poisonous.
But what the heck do I use it for? Answer: I don't.

Crunky Nude Balls? I don't even WANT to know...

When I'm craving a vanilla creme sandwich cookie,
it's gotta be a Bimbo! Nothing less than the best will do!

Parent: Remember, don't ever put Crayons in your mouth. You'll get sick!
Kid: But you said I was SUPPOSED to drink my fruit juice. I'm confused...

On my next trip to Ghana, I will be packing
my own beverages, thank you very much!

Mmm, nothing like Burnedmeat Flavour Biscuits to
start your day. The lovely char, the charming flavour!

On my next trip to Japan, I will be packing
my own beverages, thank you very much!

Apparently, this doesn't do what it sounds like it would do.

Finally, a mop that helps your kid pass their math test!
What took them so long to come up with this???

"The Pudding Club," "Everyone Dies," And "I Understand": Three New Drabbles Of Uncertain Origin

So, it seems that I'm back in a creative mode. That could be a good thing, or bad, depending on how you feel about my fiction or poetry. Today's post of inspired madness (or something like that) features three new 100-word drabbles. I wrote one of them a couple of weeks ago, but never ended up posting it. The other two are brand-spanking-new today. Enjoy?

"THE PUDDING CLUB"

When I am old and have lost all my teeth, I will start a Pudding Club for myself and others like me – old and toothless gents who haven't yet given up on living. We will invite Bill Cosby to be the guest speaker at our opening meeting. He will, of course, decline; but it is, of course, the thought that counts. We will sit in our smoking jackets – never smoking, because it's unhealthy – eating cup after cup of Jello pudding till one by one we pass out or pass on. This is how I wish to spend my final days.

"EVERYONE DIES"

I made a movie that you'll never see. Not because it's embarrassing. Because it's depressing. You'd never forget the many wonderful characters I created (if I'd ever given you the chance to remember them). I made them likable, so you'd feel sympathetic towards them. Then one by one I killed them off in horribly violent ways. If you'd seen it, you'd have shed endless tears – "people" you'd come to know and love, wiped off the face of the earth. You'd hate me – not for creating them, but for destroying them. No, you'll never see that movie. (It was called "Life.")

"I UNDERSTAND"

Look, I get it! Believe me, I do. You don't have to explain yourself. You gotta pick the person you think is best suited for the job, and that's not me! You shouldn't feel any personal obligation towards me – I mean, I'm sure plenty of people have saved your life, right? You gotta do what you gotta do – I don't expect any special treatment. Of course, us being family can't factor into your decision. That'd be unethical! You probably have rules against that sort of thing anyway, huh? Seriously, you don't have to spell it out for me. I understand!

Poems For Your Perusal: New Half-Stack Of Alpha Poetry

All bent out of shape
About nothing important
I take a deep breath
Tap on the brakes
And remind myself
That not everyone
Drives as perfectly
As I do. (Yeah, right!)
 

Batting around the same idea
For twenty-five years or more.
Time to start doing something
And stop only talking about it.
Either it's a dream you dream
Or one you live. Time to decide.


Call the shots.
I'm too tired
And too distracted
To be in charge.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Do what you think
Is best. If I don't like it
I'll let you know.
Otherwise just carry on.


Drawing a blank
Trying to remember
Who you are and
Why I should know you
And why I should care.
Help me out here.


Emotional rollercoaster.
Every day is different
And no day is a drag.
Always something to
Worry about or wonder
But only so much
You can do -- just hang on.


Fly by the seat of your pants
Because the cuffs won't support you.
The seams would rip and tear apart
And you would sink just like a rock.


Give me a break
I'm doing the best I can
With what I have to work with.
I'm no professional at this
Just making it up as I go along.
If you think you can do better
You're certainly welcome to try.
If not, get out of my way
And let me improvise!


Have the last laugh.
The first one is always insincere.
The next one is obligatory.
The others in between
Are cruel and malicious.
The last one is always the best.


In your face
Are two eyes
That scrutinize
Two ears
That listen closely
A nose
That smells something fishy
And a mouth
That talks too little.


Jumping in with both feet
I look around at the walls
Closing in (caving in?)
And wonder when I hit bottom
Will it hurt? Or will I even
Notice the difference?


Kid in a candy store
Told me that the butterscotch
Was made by little Chinese boys
In a sweatshop half a world away.
I thought he was crazy
And I told him so.
(I probably shouldn't have
Been so harsh -- he's just a kid!)
But I didn't want to feel guilty
While eating my butterscotch.
There's too many other things
In life to feel guilty about.


Lickety-split!
He wastes no time
Finishing what he started.
It was a burger.
He wipes the ketchup
From his dripping lips
And belches like he means it.
No, his mama actually never did
Teach him any manners.
It's obvious now that you know.


Mouth off at strangers
Because you think
It's okay as long as
You don't know them
And they don't know you.
You'll never see them again
They'll never see you again.
But what if you could have
Made a difference
By saying one more word
Or withholding a few?
Now you'll never know.

12 Faces I Hope I Never Make When I'm Not Looking

The "Cross-Eyed About-To-Barf" Face

The "Constipated G-Man" Face

The "Oh, Ick, I Just Ate A Mouse!" Face

The "Farsighted Fish" Face

The "Overly Spray-Tanned Duck" Face

The "Contented Hillbilly" Face

The "I Will Kill Your Puppy Without Blinking An Eye!" Face

The "Collards Fart" Face

The "Child, Please!" Face

The "Shiver Me Timbers" Face

The "Why Did they Have To Cancel 'Terra Nova'?" Face

The "What Do You Mean I'm Too Skinny To Be A Samurai?" Face

More Words I Wish I Wrote: My Favorite LIGHTS Lyrics

Sort of the female version of Owl City, LIGHTS (born Valerie Ann Poxleitner) is a singer/musician of electronica/pop music that – while it's not explicitly Christian in its approach or its target audience – does incorporate many elements of LIGHTS' own profession of faith in Christ. Like Owl City, she's one of my favorites, not just because of her music – which is great, and infectiously listenable – but also because of her lyrics, which are often packed with a variety of emotions – belief, doubt, hope, despair, and the like. Here are some of my favorite lines among her songs. Hope you'll enjoy them as well...

"The night is deafening

When the silence is listening

And I'm down on my knees

And I know that something is missing.

Because the back of my mind

Is holding things I'm relying in

But I choose to ignore it

Because I'm always denying them.

I'm a bit of a manic

When it's not as I plan it

'Cause I start losing my head

Then I get up in a panic.

Remember, when we were kids

And always knew when to quit it?

Are we denying a crisis

Or are we scared of admitting it?

I don't want to know...

I just wanna run to You

And break off the chains

And throw them away.

I just wanna be so much

And shake off the dust

That turned me to rust.

Sooner than later

I'll need a Saviour

I need a Saviour..."

~  "Saviour"

"Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small

Free my hands and feet

And maybe I won't always fall

Save me..."

~  "Saviour"

"You make the darkness disappear

I feel found when you stay near.

I know where I am when you are here

My way becomes so clear.

When you're gone, will I lose control?

You're the only road I know

You show me where to go.

Who will drive my soul?"

~  "Drive My Soul"

"I want to go where you're going

A follower, following

Changing but never changed

Claiming but never claimed..."

~  "Drive My Soul"

"I never really ever know what to say

When all of my emotions get in the way

I'm just trying to get us on the same page.

I always get it better right afterward

When all the wrong impressions are said and heard

How come I can never get the right words

I need to convey? – Wish I could explain..."

~  "The Listening"

"Can I let the trees do the talking?

Can I let the ground do the walking?

Can I let the sky fill what's missing?

Can I let my mouth do the listening?"

~  "The Listening"

"Once in a while

I act like a child

To feel like a kid again.

It gets like a prison in

The body I'm livin' in.

'Cause everyone's watching

Quick to start talking

I'm losing my innocence.

Wish I were a little girl

Without the weight of the world.

It would be nice

To start over again

Before we were men

I'd give, I'd bend

Let's play pretend..."

~  "Pretend"

"It's not going to be long

Before we're all gone

With nothing to show for them.

Stop taking lives – come on

Let's all grow up again..."

~  "Pretend"

"Sing, the last thing on your mind

The last word on your breath.

I'll be the one to keep you

To keep you at your best.

The last thing on your mind

'Cause I don't need your mess

I'll be the one to keep you

One disaster less..."

~  "The Last Thing On Your Mind"

"How many times will the clock go around?

How many times can my hands hit the ground?

How many coffins before there's a crown?

How far will I fall 'til the alarm sounds?

How can you love me when I am ugly?

Guess I can only hope...

Give me a second go

Don't let me go alone

You saw me at the worst

You caught me falling first

All I wanted to know

Give me a second go..."

~  "Second Go"

"No matter the weather, there's never a break

Conquer a ladder, then slip on a snake

Cried 'til my river turned into a lake

And I'm wondering now before it's too late.

How can you save me when I am angry?

Reasons I'll never know..."

~  "Second Go"

"I know you're near me.

I know you understand.

Say that you're with me.

Say you know my face

Like the back of your hands..."

~  "February Air"

"The times you don't wanna wake up

'Cause in your sleep, it's never over when you give up

The sun is always gonna rise up

You need to get up, gotta keep your head up!

Look at the people all around you

The way you feel is something everybody goes through

Dark out, but you still gotta light up

You need to wake up, gotta keep your face up!"

~  "Face Up"

"Be steady on your feet

No matter the trouble you meet.

Lions make you brave.

Giants give you faith.

Death is a charade.

You don't have to feel safe

To feel unafraid..."

~  "Lions!"

"So here's my heart, and here's my mouth

And I can't help if things come out

'Cause there are words I want to shout

But maybe I'll stay low...

I could wait a thousand hours

Stay the same in sun and showers

Pick apart a hundred flowers

Just to be quiet.

Tell me when you feel ready

I'm the one, there's not too many

Hold my hand to keep me steady

Just to be quiet...with you."

~  "Quiet"

"One foot on the ledge

And I'm feeling for safety

Somewhere between sure

And I don't know, maybe..."

~  "Where The Fence Is Low"

"Oh, you capture my attention

Carefully listening

Don't wanna miss a thing

Keeping my eyes on you.

Oh, you capture my attention

I'm anticipating

I'm watching, I'm waiting

For you to make your move

Got me on my toes..."

~  "Toes"

"It's around me, in my surroundings

It counts me when it starts the counting

In the chaos, there is a standard

I'm carrying it like a banner...

So lift it up like a banner

Hold it up over me

It this war is never-ending

I'll take this love down with me..."

~  "Banner"

"We all forget to sleep

And crash at someone's feet

Everybody skips a beat.

We let the chances pass

The few we held so fast

Everybody breaks a glass...

We all pretend to keep

Our tongue out of our cheek

Everyone's the fool they seek.

We all go off the track

And feel for our way back

Everybody breaks a glass...

Somewhere perfection lies

But not for you and I

Everybody trips sometimes.

When cities fall like shacks

Walls eventually crack

Everybody breaks a glass..."

~  "Everybody Breaks A Glass"

"Oh, I'm not a lost cause

I'm just stuck in this spot

And I'm close to falling off

So toss me a heavy rope

It's a slippery slope...

Don't let me tumble away

Into the throes of the shadowy bay

I cling to the rock

And it's crumbling off

Toss me a heavy rope

It's a slippery slope.

Come bail me out of this

Godforsaken precipice..."

~  "Heavy Rope"

"There I was, none the wiser

Both of us, different trajectories

Who'd have thought we'd be right here

In this spot – timing is everything..."

~  "Timing Is Everything"

"If they take my hand

Will it be to burn me, or to say 'amen'?

We beckon, so we can make amends

And with the same flip of the hand

We curse our friends...

It's getting hard to know

If I'm on the tracks, or off the beaten road

When no truth ever easily shows

So I'll follow you no matter where you go...

Where it's all a blur

You are the hard line

In the disorder

You are the peace sign

And when the riots stir

You are the sound mind

And in the disorder

You are the peace sign..."

~  "Peace Sign"

And, last but not least, my favorite LIGHTS 

song, in its entirety... "Cactus In The Valley"

"I never meant to wither

I wanted to be tall.

Like a fool, left the river

And watched my branches fall.

Old and thirsty, I longed for the flood

To come back around

To the cactus in the valley

That's about to crumble down...

And wipe the mark of sadness from my face

And show me that Your love will never change.

If my yesterday is a disgrace

Tell me that You still recall my name.

So, the storm finally found me

And left me in the dark

In the cloud around me

I don't know where You are.

If this whole world goes up in arms

All I can do is stand.

And I won't fight for anyone

Until You move my hand...

And wipe the mark of madness from my face

Show me that Your love will never change.

If my yesterday is a disgrace

Tell me that You still recall my name.

In the shadow, here I am

And I need someone by my side.

It becomes so hard to stand

And I keep trying to dry my eyes.

Come and find me, in the valley...

And wipe the mark of sadness from my face

Show me that Your love will never change.

If my yesterday is a disgrace

Tell me that you still recall my name..."

Words I Wish I Wrote: 25 Quotes About Babies

Yes, I am slightly singularly focused on this one topic lately – except for the Wombats post, that is – but it's understandable, don't you think?  Though this is our third pregnancy, we never got past a few weeks the first two times.  All off this is new and exciting for me and Mary both.  It's on my mind, and on my heart, and that's what I'm going to write about.  A lot.  That being said, I didn't write anything past this paragraph, but I like a lot of the sentiments expressed here.  Some of them just make me laugh.  Hope you'll enjoy them as well. ~ JH

1)  "A baby is born with a need to be loved – and never outgrows it."  ~  Frank Howard Clark

2)  "A baby is God's opinion that life should go on."  ~  Carl Sandburg

3)  "A man is not complete until he has seen the baby he has made."  ~  Sammy Davis, Jr.

4)  "Carrying a baby is the most rewarding experience a woman can enjoy."  ~  Jayne Mansfield

5)  "Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption."  ~  Paul Reiser

6)  "Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things in your life, as well as the hardest thing in your life."  ~  Nuno Bettencourt

7)  "Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs."  ~  Eugene Field

8)  "I couldn't wait to look at someone who shared my genes. I thought my baby was going to provide a decoder key to my past. But then I looked at [my child] and realized, no, [she's] actually the key to my future."  ~  Emily Procter

9)  "I knew it was going to be the most extraordinary thing in my life, but how powerful it is, you can never know until you have a baby."  ~  Celine Dion

10)  "If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call [her] dear baby 'it'..."  ~  T.S. Eliot

11)  "It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes a complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration of the human species, that every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last."  ~  Charles Dickens

12)  "It's extraordinary to look into a baby's face and see a piece of your flesh and your spirit. It makes you realize you are a part of the human race."  ~  Liam Neeson

13)  "Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give the more you get, and the more you get the more you feel like giving."  ~  Penelope Leach

14)  "My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."  ~  Steven Wright

15)  "Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives."  ~  Polly Berrien Berends

16)  "Make no mistake about why these babies are here – they are here to replace us."  ~  Jerry Seinfeld

17)  "Most of us would do more for our babies than we have ever been willing to do for anyone, even ourselves."  ~  Polly Berrien Berends

18)  "They're not the sharpest people – babies. So you must be everything to them."  ~  Paul Reiser

19)  "Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach...it [ticks] me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say, 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"  ~  Steven Wright

20)  "Everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the first. What is there about babies which makes us hug and kiss and fondle them, so that even an enemy would give them help at that age?"  ~  Desiderius Erasmus

21)  "Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case."  ~  William Shatner

22)  "Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are."  ~  Louisa May Alcott

23)  "Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."  ~  Bill Cosby

24)  "It is the nature of babies to be in bliss."  ~  Deepak Chopra

25)  "No one likes change but babies in diapers."  ~  Barbara Johnson

I Heard Your Heartbeat (Poem)

I heard your heartbeat. Now I know that you're real.

I know that's ridiculous, but that's how I feel.

Seeing that first grainy picture six weeks ago –

Proof you were in the right place – that was good to know.

But I needed more to convince me you're still inside.

The signs are all there, but so much is implied.

I needed to see you, but it was still way too soon.

So today as we made our way back to that room

I said a quick prayer that this time we could hear you.

Then the midwife placed her device oh-so-near you

And listened – we listened too – it was so quiet.

But, yes, there it was, and we couldn't deny it!

Ka-thunka, ka-thunka, ka-thunka – your heartbeat –

Tears welling up in my eyes – it was so sweet!

My son or my daughter, I don't even care which

As long as you're healthy – and if not, even then –

I'll love you – I do love you – your mom feels the same

I can't wait to meet you, and call you by name.