Poems For Your Perusal: Another Batch Of Alpha Poetry

absence makes the heart grow
exponentially larger than the cavity
which holds it, causing it to burst.
that's why they call it heartbreak.

bald-faced liars shave regularly
to keep up appearances
and so as not to obscure
the extent of their untruths.

cut to the chase
say what you mean
or hold your peace.
beating around the bush
only makes me want
to drag it out of you
and i've never been accused
of being overly gentle.

deep in thought
he comes up for air
and exhales a concept
but he can't prove
whether it's right or wrong.

enough already!
how many times
do we have to
go through this?
stop fighting me
on every detail.
whatever game
you're playing
will end in a draw.

fishing for compliments
he hooked a doozy
and smiled on his good fortune.
but looks can be deceiving
as can complimentary words.

giving a hundred and ten percent
is not only statistically impossible
it's usually a blatant lie.
only heroes care enough
to give of themselves till it hurts
sacrificing comfort and security.
and there aren't nearly as many
heroes out there as they claim.

hold down the fort
as best you can
it's been trying
to levitate
for weeks now
and we're running
out of ropes
to keep it grounded.

i beg to differ
but not too hard
because i do differ
quite naturally
and with aplomb.

just like riding a bike
i keep coming back to you
as natural as if i never left
i never forget the path
to your door. thankfully.

kick up your heels
and do a little jig.
i don't blame you
at all. i'd be happy too
if i'd just found out
i was somebody.

lay it on thick
add as many details
as you can. maybe
they'll believe you
if you seem sincere
enough. maybe not.

make my day
by making tracks
and causing distance
and never returning.
that's the secret
to my lasting happiness.

not my cup of tea
i ordered coffee
black, decaf
and piping hot.
somewhere
there's a bloke
still waiting
with his crumpets.

older and wiser
but still doesn't care
enough to change.
just goes to show
that you can't judge
a book by its author.

play me for a fool
but don't be surprised
if i start humming along.
i've heard this tune before.

quit while you're ahead
and you'll quickly
get off-schedule.
finish what you started
and you'll never regret
your perseverance.

rest assured
i am right here beside you
i'm not going to abandon you
no matter how much you hurt me.

say what you will
and i will answer you
with whispered words
of absolute assent.

the girl next door
isn't who you think
she is. i saw her
yesterday. her fangs
were out, and her
nose was sniffing
for blood.

unexpected twist
i am the one you didn't see coming.
you thought it would go as scripted
but i don't write like others do.

very real concerns
outweigh petty problems
in the grand scheme
of things left unsaid.
but it all depends
on who you ask.

watch your tongue
for long, and you're likely
to become cross-eyed.
better to hold it instead
and merely soil your fingers.

x factors in everything
weighs the alternatives
and realizes that the best
thing to do is to do nothing
and watch it all fall down
around him. how's that
working out for you, X?

you can run
you can hide
you can even
disappear
but i'll find you
and when i do
you're going to wish
you had never been
loved.

zzzzz
do not disturb
he's finally gotten to sleep
and he needs as much
as he can get, and any at all
will do. it takes a lot
to make him sleepy.

Alarm Clock Animosity

I haven't been sleeping that great of late. Maybe it's the thousand things running through my head all day that just won't settle down when I'm ready to go to sleep.

I can literally lie in bed for hours, doing my best to relax, reading something boring on the Kindle (I download certain titles expressly for this purpose), and still not get sleepy.

It's not that I'm not tired either. I am. Extremely. Probably due in large part to the fact that I'm routinely not getting much sleep. But I digress.

On further reflection, I'm sure it's all those thoughts that won't let me sleep.

I'm constantly thinking about the great remodeling project that's in its third (or is it fourth?) week and still isn't quite finished. There are tons of decisions to make every day on this, and most of them involve more money being paid out. Don't get me wrong -- the guy we've got doing all the work is extremely fair and honest with us. But unforeseen things happen. Like when you buy a standard counter top assuming it will work for your bathroom counters, only to find that your bathroom counters are in no way, shape, form, or fashion the standard depth, and what you bought won't work. Or when you (by you, I mean my clumsy-tail self) stub your toe on the toilet tank cover, which was leaning innocently against the wall, and break it cleanly into three pieces, then you find out you can't really buy just a replacement tank cover, you have to buy a whole new toilet. Great news, that.

Then I'm thinking about the two (or is it three? yes, definitely three) books I'm writing a little more of each day, and trying to craft them as best as I am able so people (like you, Faithful Reader?) will want to read them once they're published.

I'm thinking about work, and how I've missed several hours over the past few weeks, from waiting for or going to meet with our contractor at home, or making supplies runs to Lowe's on my lunch break, which inevitably take more than the allotted hour. And I'm wondering how and when I'm going to make all this time up, when I still have to do more of the waiting and meeting and supply runs over the next week or two, and I'm just going to be digging myself a bigger hole. I don't want to use my vacation time if I don't have to, because that's already limited enough as it is. Besides all that, I'm trying to tune out all this other stuff while I'm at work, so I can be as productive as possible while I'm there. That isn't always easy, either.

Whenever I'm not doing all that, I'm pushing myself to finish reading The Hunger Games so we can go see the movie while it's still in the theaters (I'm 65% done with it now, so I think it's going to happen, but we'll see).

All of this insomnia leads me to the appointed hour in the morning (usually no later than 5:30 am) when dueling alarm clocks wake me from slumber (which was eventually achieved, albeit not for long) and I rue the day (quite literally) before it's even gotten started. I must add that I don't say "dueling alarm clocks" flippantly. These things are somehow perfectly synced (we didn't do it on purpose, I swear!) that when the first one goes off -- "deet-deet" -- the second one immediately answers it -- "deet deet". It's almost like one big stupid alarm clock going off in stereo -- "deet-deet", "deet-deet", "deet-deet", "deet-deet", ad infinitum. I wake up -- eventually -- grumpy, unwilling, and unready to face the day. Not even hitting the snooze button helps, because eight minutes later the cacophony begins again.

And so it goes. I know I'm not alone in my animosity toward all things "deet-deet", my annoyance in unsuccessfully seeking slumber, and the rampant thoughts I'm unable to keep in check. But knowing I'm not alone doesn't make it any easier, or any better.

The remodeling project will soon be over. My books will soon be finished and ready to share with the world. One day I'll catch up on the lost hours and delayed work at my job. But until that happens, I'll have to power through this junk, suck it up, and just live as best I can. It's not like I can do anything about it anyway....

Things I Find Fascinating: Slightly Bizarre Instrumental Solos

Did you ever hear an entire song played on timpani – you know, those big booming drums in the back of the orchestra which are most often used to signal impending doom? Well, neither have I. But now you can!

What follows are links to videos of instrumental solos being played on musical instruments you don't normally expect to hear instrumental solos played on. But maybe they should be used more often, because for the most part, they sound great! I'm way too busy, tired, and justifiably lazy to comment a whole lot on these, so just watch them for yourself and see how you like them. Hope you enjoy!

1)  Timpani  (this gets old after about a minute, but it's still pretty fascinating to watch)

2)  Glockenspiel  (the "Last of the Mohicans" theme song has never sounded better)

3)  Metallophone  (which is actually a bunch of wrenches of different sizes laying on top of two metal pipes)

4)  Flugelhorn  (the "Titanic" theme song – how can you go wrong with that?)

5)  Kazoo  (okay, so technically this is a quartet, but they're all playing kazoos – except that one guy doing the human beatbox – anyway, enjoy!)

6)  Didgeridoo  (it has a nice beat, and you can dance to it – but why would you want to?)

7)  Theremin  (This goes out to all you old-school video-gamers out there – "The Legend Of Zelda" theme song played on the world's earliest electronic instrument – how does this thing even work, anyway?)

8)  Balalaika  (okay, so I'll concede the fact that in some parts of the world, it's probably quite common to hear a balalaika solo – but as an American, I've personally never seen or heard one of these before – plus, I like the word "balalaika" and needed an excuse to include this somewhere, at some time, and for some reason in a blog post, and this was it)

9)  Sitar  (this is the craziest-looking stringed instrument I've ever seen – oh yeah, I want one!)

10)  Bassoon  (I've never thought of the bassoon as a particularly beautiful-sounding instrument – a nice complementary sound in an orchestra, sure – but this video has changed my mind – this was awesome!)

Mad Libs: "Edgar Allan Poe"

You've probably heard of or done a Mad Libs game yourself before. It's the one where you fill in a noun, adjective, verb, adverb, etc., not knowing where or in what context the word will be plugged in, since you haven't yet read the story or piece where the words will fit.

Being a big fan of word games, I've been playing Mad Libs for years, but this is the first time I've done one online. The subject of this one was Edgar Allan Poe. As it turns out, the poem was Poe's "The Raven." I botched it up big-time. Enjoy?




Once upon a midnight dreary, while I stalked frumpy and asinine
Over many a quaint and bulbous volume of crunchy lore,
While I shook nearly marveling suddenly there came a grinning
As of some one jauntily grieving grieving at my slippery raccoon.
`'Tis some wombat , I muttered, bragging at my slippery wombat -
Only this, and nothing more '
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the sporty December,
And each separate saying obstacle wrought its castle upon the floor.
Mostly I sauntered the morrow; - madly I had sought to borrow
From my geese surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the bubbly Joe -
For the skimpy and radiant sweater whom the trucks named Joe -
Special here for evermore.
And the toasty sad uncertain moving of each purple stroller
Expected me - scarfed me with funny-looking terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the spiking of my heart, I stood dusting
`'Tis some cookbook shaking entrance at my funny-looking cookbook -
Some trusty cookbook shaking entrance at my trusty cookbook -
This it is, and nothing more, '
Presently my soul navigated stronger; finding then no longer,
`Sir, ' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was preparing and so strangely you came singing
And so easily you came posting posting at my trusty cookbook
That I scarce was sure I ran you' - here I flipped portly the cookbook -
Scrappy there, and nothing more.
Scrumptious into that scrumptious peering, voluminous I stood there wondering, rising
Acting dreaming dreams no mortal ever pulled to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the voluminous gave no token,
And the only word there swam was the drank word, Joe!
This I drank and an echo drifted back the word, Joe!
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber writing all my soul within me hiding
Soon again I winked a hiding somewhat louder than before.
`Surely, ' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery spit -
Let my heart be lousy a moment and this mystery spit -
'Tis the wind and nothing more. '

Show Me "Paint The House"

I'm going to keep this short for reasons which will soon become obvious.

With Mr. Miyagi's encouraging voice in the back of our minds all day, we painted all the walls of our fairly large living room. I did all the rolling, but Mary did all the cutting in (which is really the hardest part, requiring a steadier hand and lots of attention to detail).

We started before noon and almost twelve hours later, we're still not quite finished. (I'm taking a quick break, with Mary's blessing, to blog so I make sure I get one in for today.) Tomorrow, at some point, we will do all the trim.

This is hot, exhausting work, but we're doing it, which is pretty amazing actually. We're saving lots of money by doing it ourselves, and it's totally going to be worth it. It already looks great, and it's not even all the way dry just yet.

I only broke one, maybe two things today. When I was taking a look at the work our contractor guy was doing in the bathroom, I stubbed my foot on the top of the toilet seat (which was leaning up against the wall) and it broke cleanly into three pieces. Then later, when I was moving the fire pokers away from the wall, one of them (solid metal, and quite heavy) fell squarely on my left great toe, which hurt quite a bit. Maybe it's broken, maybe it isn't, but I put a bag of frozen peas on it for an hour or so just to make sure.

Anyway, I'm gonna cut this short so we can finish up for the night. It's been a long day, but a good one. I'll post some pictures once all this is finished, for those who care to see them.

Till tomorrow...

Poems For Your Perusal: Fresh Alpha Poetry

 Bet you thought I wasn't going to get a blog post in for today, being that it's rapidly approaching 11:00 pm as I write this. Well, I thought so too. But here it is. Long day, brain is tired. It was all I could do to muster up these brand-new alpha poems. Enjoy, and good night!


as luck would have it
i still have a few
coherent thoughts to share
despite the fact
that my brain is taxed
beyond the usual.
we'll see how this goes.

bite your tongue.
when the bleeding starts
spit it out
(the blood, not your tongue).
who lied and said
that words don't hurt?

chomping at the bit
to tell your dirty secret.
why would you want to rush
to your own judgment?

do a one-eighty
then do one more.
back where you started
you're getting nowhere.

everything but the kitchen sink
has been displaced
and replaced again.
and the sink's going next week.
i'll be glad when this is over.

firing on all cylinders now
my mind, like a steel trap
is racing towards a conclusion.
but jumping prematurely
is just as bad as never moving.

go back to the well
the one you tapped before
seeking new problems to solve.
finding none, you seek questions
to ask which explain the answers.

hates my guts
thinks i'm the scum of the earth
doesn't want to ever see my face
again. what did i do
to get that lucky?

if the shoe fits
and it's the right color
and the right price
and you need it
(or at least you want it)
then what are you waiting for?
(i'm not talking about shoes.)

joined at the hip
they walked in separate directions
and soon parted painfully.
should've seen that one coming.

know where you stand
if you're at the precipice
of a bottomless pit
knowing could save your life.

last ditch effort
i'm only going to ask you once.
go or stay,  come or go
decide and do it
fence-sitting is for losers.

make a long story short
by suspending your belief
in happy endings.
works every time.

no brainer
i am uniquely qualified
to answer this question
defined by what i lack
(or possess, but choose
to use unwisely).

on a soapbox shouting out
my stun-gun manifesto
agree to disagree
and you could get
the shock of your life.

pencil you in for a 10 o'clock
and shrug when you don't show.
i knew i couldn't count
on your cooperation.

quick bucks come easy
but when you get caught
you'll pay through the nose.
don't blow it!

rest on your laurels
as though the past
is guaranteed to repeat
itself, like history.
it doesn't always
work that way.

sick to death
of half-hearted efforts
give it your all
or keep it to yourself.
take it to heart
or leave it alone.

take it from me
i wasn't using it anyway.
it works fine
but i don't need it.
it's all yours.

under the gun
to make something happen
i scrape the edges of my mind
and see what sticks.
small miracle if anything does.

variety is a spice
that tastes like everything
and nothing all at once.
life is what you make of it
or what was planned
in advance. more likely that.

when push comes to shove
someone will rush in
to break up the fight
and you're left standing there
shadowboxing with ghosts.

x marks the spot.
hidden treasures found
where no one even thought
to look. that's what they get
for being narrow-minded.

you had it coming
if anyone ever did.
you got exactly what
 you deserved. and i
couldn't be happier.
just being honest.

zig when you should zag
it's all about looking ahead
and you can't see clearly
with sand in your eyes.

Literary Experimentation: Three "Drabbles"

So here I go again, trying something new. Not a bad thing, really. It stretches the mental muscles. What follows are my first attempts at writing "drabbles." Don't know what a "drabble" is? Well, according to Wikipedia.org it's "an extremely short work of fiction of exactly 100 words in length...The purpose of the drabble is brevity, testing the author's ability to express interesting and meaningful ideas in an extremely confined space." I found a website which gave some helpful drabble prompts – groups of three seemingly unrelated words or phrases you can use as a jumping-off point for your drabble-writing experience. The prompts I chose are in bold/italics below. I don't really know what I'm doing here, but I always like a good writing challenge, so here we go... 

Let me know what you think of these. Feel free to comment with your own drabbles, if you feel up to the challenge! :)



concerned, buried fruit jar, sleeping bag

I'm starting to get concerned. I can't remember where I buried the fruit jar last winter, and it's time to bake the pie. The dog could help, but he's curled up on the sleeping bag like he doesn't have a care in the world. Which he doesn't, lucky dog. Maybe I could use fruit concentrate. But it's just not the same. There's nothing like the taste of fruit you canned yourself. Maybe I'll bake the dog in a pie instead. Never mind, it would take too long to fillet him, and I don't have much time. I'd better keep digging.


knights, hubcap, baby

Clarissa's in the driveway practicing her cheers. "Go Knights, go!" and all that jazz. All she really has to do is remember to smile. She wishes she could get her braces off sooner. She thinks her smile looks like a big hubcap with lipstick. (It doesn't – it's pretty.) Time to call it a night. Mom'll be bugging her to come change the baby any time now. Clarissa wishes she could change the baby...into a dog. But Mom won't let her have one just yet. Says it might try to bite the baby. Yeah, right! The baby'd bite the dog!


skateboard, noodles, chocolate

Well, I've gained another five pounds. I guess it's time to start hitting the old skateboard again. I know I've been eating too much chocolate lately, but I can't help it. I've been under a lot of stress at school. I still don't know how I'm going to tell Dad about the "D" I made on the science test yesterday. He said if I didn't start applying myself, there would be heck to pay. (LOL, Dad!) But when he finds out about the extra weight I've gained, he'll put me on that Ramen-noodles-only diet again. Ugh, just shoot me now!