Friday, December 19, 2014

Interesting Quotes By People Who'd Be 100 Years Old This Year…If They Weren't Already Dead

1)  "Knock the 't' off the 'can't.'"  ~  George Reeves, actor


2)  "No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death."  ~  William S. Burroughs, writer


3)  "War is fear cloaked in courage."  ~  William Westmoreland, Army general


4)  "Life is a tragedy full of joy."  ~  Bernard Malamud, writer


5)  "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."  ~  Joe Louis, boxer


6)  "When people are smiling, they are most receptive to almost anything you want to teach them."  ~  Allen Funt, entertainer


7)  "Do not go gentle into that good night, but rage, rage against the dying of the light."  ~  Dylan Thomas, poet


8)  "A person always doing his or her best becomes a natural leader, just by example."  ~  Joe DiMaggio, baseball player


9)  "When I die, I hope they don't cremate me, 'cuz I'll burn forever."  ~  Harry Caray, broadcaster


10)  "Life is to be lived, not controlled, and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat."  ~  Ralph Ellison, writer


11)  "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?"  ~  Alec Guinness, actor


12)  "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."  ~  Robert McCloskey, writer


13)  "Movies are a magician's forge; they allow you to build a story with your hands – at least, that's what it means to me. What attracts me in movies is to be presented with a problem and be able to solve it. Nothing else; just to create an illusion, an effect, with almost nothing."  ~  Mario Bava, film director


14)  "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid."  ~  Hedy Lamarr, actress


15)  "Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality."  ~  Jonas Salk, scientist

Friday, September 12, 2014

Fascinating Photos Of Famous Folks With Their Favorite Felines

Probably one of the most iconic
photos of Ray Bradbury is of him 
and his black cat and his digital 
watch. (Ray's, not the cat's.)



I see Paris. I see a cat.
And that's all I care
to say about that.



 Even the King of Rock 'n' Roll knew 
the best way to relax is with a cat 
draped lazily around your shoulders.



 Morgan Freeman. With a cat
on his head. Need I say more?



 I wonder if he calls her "Clarice"?



Frankly, my dear, I wish you'd put me down.




Is that a cat in your pocket, 
or are you just happy to see me?




A young Christina Ricci looking
very Wednesday Addams here.



 Steeeellllaaaa! You missed
the litter box again!




 Look at those two wild and crazy guys!



 It doesn't get any posher than this.



 Purrfection.



 George Clooney, a cat, and a
teddy bear walked into a bar...



 The name's Cat. Sean's Cat.



 In between writing masterpieces 
of American literature, Mark Twain
was stroking this fluffy cat. 



 Is that a cat or a baby panther?



Hey, Frank Zappa, shut 
up and pet yer kitty!



 After adopting this raven-furred beauty,
I'll bet he did the "Carlton Dance."



 The resemblance is uncanny!



 Are you purring at me? 
Are YOU purring at ME?



 I guess all the towels were dirty...



 The Man in Black with the Cat in Orange.



 Smells like Friskies.



Michael J. Cat




 Don't like my cat? Forget you. And forget her too.



  Me-YOW!



Michael Jackson, when he was still black.
And his cat was still orange.



 Cat, I am your father.

Friday, September 5, 2014

16 Things Joan Rivers Said That Made Me Laugh




"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, 
and six months later you have to start all over again!"


"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw 
that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."


"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."


"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die 
they will donate my body to Tupperware."


"Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. 
I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. 
I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on 
planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. 
To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day 
I was born, you know, about diapers or something."


"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, 
He would have put diamonds on the floor."


"My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him 
I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus 
– that way, I'd visit him every day."


"People say that money is not the key to happiness, 
but I always figured if you have enough money, 
you can have a key made."


"Thank God we're living in a country 
where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late, 
and you can shop in bed thanks to television."


"I have flabby thighs, but fortunately 
my stomach covers them."


"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a
woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes, she's a tramp."


"Never floss with a stranger."


"I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my 
Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent."


"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. 
She thought we just fought in World War Eleven."


"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't 
make you nice. Hitler read history, too."


AND THIS ONE PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP...


"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking."

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Funny And Thought-Provoking Quotes By The Late, Great Robin Williams


One of my all-time favorite actors and comedians passed away yesterday. And yes, I would have counted him among my favorites if you'd asked me two days ago. In memory of Robin Williams, here's a collection of some of his most memorable quotes.  ~  JH



FUNNY QUOTES:


"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"


"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."


"Never pick a fight with an ugly person; they've got nothing to lose."


"We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."


"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"


"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."


"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."


"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."


"Carpe per diem – seize the check."


"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."


"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills – no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."


"Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift."


"You know the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer."


"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say, 'Stop, or I'll stay stop again.'"


"We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm."


"If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there."



THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUOTES:

"Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage, you're licensed to do that. It's an understood relationship. You walk on stage – it's your job."


"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."


"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."


"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."


"Comedy is acting out optimism."


"In America, they really do mythologize people when they die."


"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone – it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."


"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to."


"Death is nature's way of saying, 'Your table is ready.'"


"You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars."


"Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget."


"I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be."


"Only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be."


"You have this idea that you'd better keep working, otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous."


"There is still a lot to learn, and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful."


"It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you – when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead."


"The only weapon we have is comedy."


"The brightest light has gone out."


Yes, it has, Robin.  R.I.P.


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Songs With "Thank You" In The Title

Okay, so none of these songs are specifically "Thanksgiving" songs. But all of them have the words "Thank You" in the title, which is something I suppose. I'm thankful for a lot of things, and I might go to the trouble of listing them here later – perhaps today, or maybe tomorrow. But for now, I want to thank you – whomever you are – for taking the time to indulge me and actively cooperate in my insanity daily, weekly, or however often you visit this blog. If you didn't consistently check out what I have to say, or what music I'm posting, or revel in the things that fascinate me, I would probably still blog, but not nearly as often. Thank you, Loyal Readers. And Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  ~  JH



1)  Boyz II Men  ~  "Thank You"




2)  Alanis Morissette  ~  "Thank U"




3)  Sly & The Family Stone  ~  "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)"  (Yeah, you read that right – that's the official name of the song, spelled exactly as the band intended it to be)




4)  Dido  ~  "Thank You"




5)  Bon Jovi  ~  "Thank You For Loving Me"




6)  Estelle  ~  "Thank You"

Video wouldn't load properly – click link to view:


7)  Gotye  ~  "Thanks For Your Time"





8)  ABBA  ~  "Thank You For The Music"




9)  Ray Boltz  ~  "Thank You"  (Yeah, I know, he's gay now – does that make this song or Ray's performance of it any more or less good? No? Okay then!)




10)  Johnny Reid  ~  "Thank You"


Thursday, May 29, 2014

From A to Z: 26 Words To Describe Myself


Awkward:  Socially, physically, mentally. You name it, I'm awkward at it.


Belligerent:  But really only in adverse traffic scenarios. Otherwise, I'm pretty mild-mannered.


Cheesy:  My humor is an acquired taste. And some people are lactose-intolerant.


Deliberate:  Especially in my work. I'm not the fastest, most productive writer. But I may very well be the most thorough, and thereby the most effective.


Eclectic:  My taste in books, movies, music, and people in general is quite varied.


Fleshy:  I'm carrying a few extra pounds. Quite a few, actually.


Goofy:  I can be downright silly when I want to be. And I often want to be.


Hellenic:  My great-grandfather emigrated to the United States from Greece. Which makes me one-eighth Greek.


Impulsive:  All too often, I act or speak without thinking. And sometimes that gets me into trouble.


Jealous:  I am guilty of this most basic yet very common character flaw. I'm jealous of those who have more money than I do, those who are better-looking than I am, and of those who are more talented than I am.


Kindhearted:  Despite my sometimes bristly exterior, I'm basically a nice person who cares about other people more than I do about myself.


Listless:  I don't always lack energy or enthusiasm – but when I do, I do it better than anyone else I know.


Melodious:  I can carry a tune. And play a few of them, too. I've been told I don't entirely suck at either.


Neutral:  In politics, in conflicts, in interpersonal relationships, I am basically Switzerland. It's rare that I take a strong stance on anything. Which can be infuriating to some.


Obvious:  Here I'm not referring to the "easily perceived or understood" definition of the word, but rather the "predictable and lacking in subtlety" definition.


Passable:  This is my honest opinion of how I view myself, physically speaking. I'm not the ugliest person who ever lived, but I'll never be counted among the handsomest, either. I'm just, blah. Just barely average.


Quirky:  I'm not exactly normal, but not quite psychotic. Color me "different."


Rubicund:  This isn't nearly as scandalous a word as it sounds. It means I'm red-faced, ruddy-complexioned. It's a ginger thing, I think.


Scraggly:  I only shave every two or three days, so often my beard can appear a bit unkempt. There's a method to the madness, though. It just doesn't come through that clearly.


Tedious:  In the sense that I'm "wordy so as to cause weariness or boredom."


Unfathomable:  Even after this 26-word exposition of myself, you will find me incomprehensible. I'm just impossible to read. Even to myself.


Versatile:  I can do many different things well. But most of my talents lie dormant due to lack of opportunity.


Woozy:  This mostly describes me when I'm under the influence of allergy medications (almost a daily occurrence at this time of year). But it sometimes applies in my daily life as well.


Xenophobic:  I'll admit it. Sometimes I am "unreasonably fearful of…anyone or anything foreign or strange." I'm not racist – not in the least – but I am distrustful of people I don't know or understand. Come to think of it, I'm somewhat distrustful of some people I do know and understand. Oh…


Yielding:  I can be extremely stubborn at times, but in the end I'd rather let someone else have their way than engage in a conflict. If that makes me a wimp or any less of a man, then so be it.


Zealous:  When I am passionate about something (admittedly, this is a rarity), I will pursue it to the fullest – with energy, enthusiasm, and fervor springing up within me from wells I didn't even know existed.






**************************************************
All quoted or implied word definitions are derived from Dictionary.com.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Words I Wish I Wrote: Quotes About Integrity


1)  "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively."  ~  Bob Marley


2)  "Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."  ~  Miguel Angel Ruiz


3)  "Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."  ~  Oprah Winfrey


4)  "Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you."  ~  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


5)  "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity."  ~  W. Clement Stone


6)  "Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people."  ~  Dennis Prager


7)  "If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing."  ~  Henry Kravis


8)  "A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity."  ~  Baltasar Gracian


9)  "Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect."  ~  Thomas S. Monson


10)  "Integrity has no need of rules."  ~  Albert Camus


11)  "Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."  ~  Samuel Johnson


12)  "The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded."  ~  Scott Hamilton


13)  "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."  ~  Harvey Mackay


14)  "Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity, than straightforward and simple integrity in another."  ~  Charles Caleb Colton


15)  "Honor your commitments with integrity."  ~  Les Brown