Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Funny And Thought-Provoking Quotes By The Late, Great Robin Williams

One of my all-time favorite actors and comedians passed away yesterday. And yes, I would have counted him among my favorites if you'd asked me two days ago. In memory of Robin Williams, here's a collection of some of his most memorable quotes.  ~  JH


"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"

"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person; they've got nothing to lose."

"We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."

"Carpe per diem – seize the check."

"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."

"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills – no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."

"Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift."

"You know the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer."

"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say, 'Stop, or I'll stay stop again.'"

"We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm."

"If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there."


"Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage, you're licensed to do that. It's an understood relationship. You walk on stage – it's your job."

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."

"Comedy is acting out optimism."

"In America, they really do mythologize people when they die."

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone – it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."

"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to."

"Death is nature's way of saying, 'Your table is ready.'"

"You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars."

"Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget."

"I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be."

"Only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be."

"You have this idea that you'd better keep working, otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous."

"There is still a lot to learn, and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful."

"It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you – when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead."

"The only weapon we have is comedy."

"The brightest light has gone out."

Yes, it has, Robin.  R.I.P.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Songs With "Thank You" In The Title

Okay, so none of these songs are specifically "Thanksgiving" songs. But all of them have the words "Thank You" in the title, which is something I suppose. I'm thankful for a lot of things, and I might go to the trouble of listing them here later – perhaps today, or maybe tomorrow. But for now, I want to thank you – whomever you are – for taking the time to indulge me and actively cooperate in my insanity daily, weekly, or however often you visit this blog. If you didn't consistently check out what I have to say, or what music I'm posting, or revel in the things that fascinate me, I would probably still blog, but not nearly as often. Thank you, Loyal Readers. And Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  ~  JH

1)  Boyz II Men  ~  "Thank You"

2)  Alanis Morissette  ~  "Thank U"

3)  Sly & The Family Stone  ~  "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)"  (Yeah, you read that right – that's the official name of the song, spelled exactly as the band intended it to be)

4)  Dido  ~  "Thank You"

5)  Bon Jovi  ~  "Thank You For Loving Me"

6)  Estelle  ~  "Thank You"

Video wouldn't load properly – click link to view:

7)  Gotye  ~  "Thanks For Your Time"

8)  ABBA  ~  "Thank You For The Music"

9)  Ray Boltz  ~  "Thank You"  (Yeah, I know, he's gay now – does that make this song or Ray's performance of it any more or less good? No? Okay then!)

10)  Johnny Reid  ~  "Thank You"

Thursday, May 29, 2014

From A to Z: 26 Words To Describe Myself

Awkward:  Socially, physically, mentally. You name it, I'm awkward at it.

Belligerent:  But really only in adverse traffic scenarios. Otherwise, I'm pretty mild-mannered.

Cheesy:  My humor is an acquired taste. And some people are lactose-intolerant.

Deliberate:  Especially in my work. I'm not the fastest, most productive writer. But I may very well be the most thorough, and thereby the most effective.

Eclectic:  My taste in books, movies, music, and people in general is quite varied.

Fleshy:  I'm carrying a few extra pounds. Quite a few, actually.

Goofy:  I can be downright silly when I want to be. And I often want to be.

Hellenic:  My great-grandfather emigrated to the United States from Greece. Which makes me one-eighth Greek.

Impulsive:  All too often, I act or speak without thinking. And sometimes that gets me into trouble.

Jealous:  I am guilty of this most basic yet very common character flaw. I'm jealous of those who have more money than I do, those who are better-looking than I am, and of those who are more talented than I am.

Kindhearted:  Despite my sometimes bristly exterior, I'm basically a nice person who cares about other people more than I do about myself.

Listless:  I don't always lack energy or enthusiasm – but when I do, I do it better than anyone else I know.

Melodious:  I can carry a tune. And play a few of them, too. I've been told I don't entirely suck at either.

Neutral:  In politics, in conflicts, in interpersonal relationships, I am basically Switzerland. It's rare that I take a strong stance on anything. Which can be infuriating to some.

Obvious:  Here I'm not referring to the "easily perceived or understood" definition of the word, but rather the "predictable and lacking in subtlety" definition.

Passable:  This is my honest opinion of how I view myself, physically speaking. I'm not the ugliest person who ever lived, but I'll never be counted among the handsomest, either. I'm just, blah. Just barely average.

Quirky:  I'm not exactly normal, but not quite psychotic. Color me "different."

Rubicund:  This isn't nearly as scandalous a word as it sounds. It means I'm red-faced, ruddy-complexioned. It's a ginger thing, I think.

Scraggly:  I only shave every two or three days, so often my beard can appear a bit unkempt. There's a method to the madness, though. It just doesn't come through that clearly.

Tedious:  In the sense that I'm "wordy so as to cause weariness or boredom."

Unfathomable:  Even after this 26-word exposition of myself, you will find me incomprehensible. I'm just impossible to read. Even to myself.

Versatile:  I can do many different things well. But most of my talents lie dormant due to lack of opportunity.

Woozy:  This mostly describes me when I'm under the influence of allergy medications (almost a daily occurrence at this time of year). But it sometimes applies in my daily life as well.

Xenophobic:  I'll admit it. Sometimes I am "unreasonably fearful of…anyone or anything foreign or strange." I'm not racist – not in the least – but I am distrustful of people I don't know or understand. Come to think of it, I'm somewhat distrustful of some people I do know and understand. Oh…

Yielding:  I can be extremely stubborn at times, but in the end I'd rather let someone else have their way than engage in a conflict. If that makes me a wimp or any less of a man, then so be it.

Zealous:  When I am passionate about something (admittedly, this is a rarity), I will pursue it to the fullest – with energy, enthusiasm, and fervor springing up within me from wells I didn't even know existed.

All quoted or implied word definitions are derived from Dictionary.com.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Words I Wish I Wrote: Quotes About Integrity

1)  "The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively."  ~  Bob Marley

2)  "Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."  ~  Miguel Angel Ruiz

3)  "Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."  ~  Oprah Winfrey

4)  "Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you."  ~  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

5)  "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity."  ~  W. Clement Stone

6)  "Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people."  ~  Dennis Prager

7)  "If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing."  ~  Henry Kravis

8)  "A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity."  ~  Baltasar Gracian

9)  "Perhaps the surest test of an individual's integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect."  ~  Thomas S. Monson

10)  "Integrity has no need of rules."  ~  Albert Camus

11)  "Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful."  ~  Samuel Johnson

12)  "The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded."  ~  Scott Hamilton

13)  "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."  ~  Harvey Mackay

14)  "Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity, than straightforward and simple integrity in another."  ~  Charles Caleb Colton

15)  "Honor your commitments with integrity."  ~  Les Brown

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Practical Advice From Guys Named Jim

"If you are not willing to risk the unusual,
you will have to settle for the ordinary."
~  Jim Rohn, businessman

"Avoid fruits and nuts.
You are what you eat."
~  Jim Davis, cartoonist

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear;
after that, fear has no power, 
and the fear of freedom shrinks 
and vanishes. You are free."
~  Jim Morrison, musician

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot
keep to gain what he cannot lose."
~  Jim Elliot, missionary

"If you aren't in the moment, you are 
either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret."
~  Jim Carrey, actor

"If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full
day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days
a week, you're going to have something special."
~  Jim Valvano, basketball coach

"Life's like a movie; write your own ending.
Keep believing, keep pretending."
~  Jim Henson, puppeteer

"Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going."
~  Jim Ryun, athlete

"Be thankful for problems. If they 
were less difficult, someone with 
less ability might have your job."
~  Jim Lovell, astronaut

"Losing is no disgrace if
you've given your best."
~  Jim Palmer, athlete

"You cannot learn anything from 
success, you only learn from failure."
~  Jim Dale, actor

"Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment."
~  Jim Horning, scientist

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

36 People Who Are Already More Successful At My Age Than I Will Ever Be

I know it's self-defeating to compare yourself to other people, because everyone is different, and what truly defines success is completely subjective. But it's my birthday and I feel like deflating my already flimsy ego a bit, so here goes nothing. Don't take it too seriously – my tongue is planted firmly in cheek as I write this – but still...  ~  JH

Karina Smirnoff:  She was the 
Season 13 winner on Dancing With
The Stars. I wasn't. And never will be.

File:Chad Ochocinco.JPG
Chad Johnson (aka Chad Ocho Cinco):  
He's a six-time Pro Bowl wide receiver.
I'm not. And I never will be.

Ashton Kutcher:  He's starred in not one
but two successful TV sitcoms as well as countless
movies. I haven't even visited Hollywood.

File:James Franco 4, 2013.jpg
James Franco:  He's won a Golden
Globe and been nominated for an
Oscar. In his spare time, he teaches 
courses on short film production 
and screenwriting. I write 
about clothes for a living.

File:Erin Andrews 2012 Shankbone.JPG
Erin Andrews:  She's been a sportscaster,
journalist, and TV personality who's worked
for ESPN, Fox Sports, and Good Morning
America. I just watch SportsCenter every day.

File:Shawn Marion Mavs.jpg
Shawn Marion:  He won an NBA
championship with the Dallas Mavericks
in 2011. I've flown into the Dallas/
Fort Worth airport a couple of times.

File:CASTA Laetitia-24x30-2005b.jpg
Laetitia Casta:  She's regarded 
as one of the most beautiful 
supermodels in the world. I'm not.

File:Barry Zito 2008-08-02.jpg
Barry Zito:  He parlayed a Cy
Young award into a 7-year, 
$126 million contract. I...
don't make nearly that much.

File:Brian Urlacher crop2.jpg
Brian Urlacher:  He played for 13 years
in the NFL, winning Rookie of the Year, 
Defensive Player of the Year, and was
elected to Pro Bowls. I've watched him
play on television. That's about it.

Benji Gregory:  He was on ALF. I would
have given my right eye to be on ALF.

File:Bill Hader by Gage Skidmore.jpg
Bill Hader:  He was a regular cast member
of Saturday Night Live. He's been in a string of
successful comedies. I crack lame jokes on my blogs.

Joshua Jackson & Anna Torv:  The stars of
TV's über-fascinating sci-fi drama, Fringe.
Watching it on Netflix is about as close as I'll
ever get to experiencing that level of cool.

Dirk Nowitzki:  He's a 12-time
All-Star, former MVP, and one-
time NBA champ. He's considered
one of the greatest power forwards
in NBA history. I shoot bricks. A lot.

Zoe Saldana:  She's been in two 
Star Trek films, as well as in 
Avatar. I've...seen those films.

File:Champ Bailey 2010.JPG
Champ Bailey:  A 12-time Pro Bowler
who's widely regarded as one of the
best pass defenders in NFL history. 
I'm widely regarded as one of the
best gas passers in my household.

File:Aramis Ramírez - 2008 - cropped.jpg
Aramis Ramírez:  He's hit over
350 homeruns and driven in
more than 1,200 runs in his
MLB career. I was 0 for 8 in
my high school baseball "career."

Nicole Scherzinger:  She's very
attractive and sings quite well.
I sing okay, and – well, you 
know what I look like. Ugh!

File:Topher Grace Giant Mechanical Man premiere 2 - Copy.jpg
Topher Grace:  Along with Ashton Kutcher,
he was one of the lead actors on That '70s
Show. I...watched that show a fair bit.

File:MG 9800 Ben Sheets.jpg
Ben Sheets:  He was a four-time
MLB All-Star and Summer Olympic
gold medalist. Even though he 
blew out his arm at a relatively 
young age, he still had a better 
career than I ever will.

Josh Hartnett:  He's starred in blockbuster
hits such as Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down, and
Sin City. I used to have a Blockbuster membership.

File:Kurt Busch 54 2012 Road America Sargento 200.jpg
Kurt Busch:  Winner of 24 NASCAR Sprint
Cup Series races and the 2004 champion,
Busch gets paid to drive very fast. When 
I do that, all I get are speeding tickets.

File:Kobe Bryant Washington.jpg
Kobe Bryant:  He's a 16-time All-Star,
15-time All-NBA Team, and 12-time
member of the All-Defensive Team.
He's a 5-time NBA champion, 2-time
Finals MVP, a regular-season MVP,
and a surefire future Hall of Famer. I
used to play NBA Jam on my Sega Genesis.

File:Ed Reed 2008-08-13.jpg
Ed Reed:  A nine-time Pro Bowler,
former NFL Defensive Player of the Year,
and one-time Super Bowl champion, Reed
is considered one of the greatest safeties
of all time in the NFL. I always wear my
safety belt when driving or riding in a car.

File:Usher speech.jpg
Usher:  He's won 8 American Music
Awards, 20 Billboard Music Awards,
8 Grammys, and 2 MTV Video Music
Awards, among countless other honors.
I once served as an usher for the
Summer Theatre program at ECU.

File:20110426-1018 John Lackey.jpg
John Lackey:  Despite being infamous
for his surly demeanor and his habit
of drinking beer and eating fried
chicken during his own team's games,
this guy has won 138 games in the big
leagues and has two World Series rings
to show for it. I've never won anything.

Matthew Morrison:  He portrays the
charismatic glee club teacher on the
hit TV series, Glee. He's appeared in 
numerous Broadway and Off-Broadway
productions. I sing in the shower.

Bubba Watson:  One of the few
left-handed golfers on the PGA
Tour, Bubba won the Masters 
Tournament in 2012. I have never
played a round of golf in my life.
But I am left-handed.

File:Reggie Wayne.JPG
Reggie Wayne:  A six-time Pro Bowl
selection and member of the Colts'
Super Bowl XLI championship team,
Wayne has amassed over 1,000 receptions
and more than 13,500 receiving yards 
during his career. I once worked in the
Receiving Department at Barnes & Noble.

File:Rachel McAdams, TIFF 2012 (bright crop).jpg
Rachel McAdams:  She's starred in a
number of hit movies such as Mean Girls,
The Notebook, Wedding Crashers,
Sherlock Holmes, and The Vow. I've
seen a lot of hit movies such as these.

File:Katherine Heigl LF adjust.jpg
Katherine Heigl:  She's starred in
the hit medical drama, Grey's Anatomy,
for which we won a Primetime Emmy.
She's been in a string of hit movies,
most of them romantic comedies.
Let's face it – I can't compete with that.

File:Mat Kearney.jpg
Mat Kearney:  He's one of the more
talented singer-songwriters in the biz
today. He's won a GMA Dove Award 
and scored 5 top-20 hits on the Adult
Top 40 Chart. I've written a bunch of 
songs I've never sung for anyone
anywhere and probably never will.

File:Nelly Furtado 2010.jpg
Nelly Furtado:  She's an 8-time
Grammy nominee and 2-time
Grammy winner. I'm like a bird.

File:Vernon Wells on May 20, 2013.jpg
Vernon Wells:  Despite fizzling
out late in his career (he's still
an active player), Wells has been
a 3-time All-Star, 3-time Gold Glove
winner, and 1-time Silver Slugger
Award winner. He's hit nearly 300
homeruns and driven in almost 1,000
runs over his 14-year career. I have both 
Gold and Silver strands in my beard hair.

File:Katie Holmes, 2009.jpg
Katie Holmes:  She starred in Dawson's
Creek, had a key role in Batman Begins,
and has appeared on Broadway in an
Arthur Miller play. She was also married
to a talented yet insane fellow actor.
I married a talented yet not insane person.
Now this is a comparison that I'm okay with.

Manny Pacquiao:  He's the first and only
eight-division world champion in boxing, in
which he was won ten world titles. He holds an
impressive record of 55 wins (38 by TKO) and 
only 5 losses. He's also served in the House 
of Representatives in his home country 
of The Philippines. I get knocked down, 
but I don't usually get up again.