Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Fantastic F-Words To Mutter In Mixed Company


Don't fret! I'm not going to start dropping F-bombs to and fro. Instead, I'm going to fire off a flurry of words -- a few familiar and a few forgotten -- that all start with the letter "F" and that won't be frowned upon by your friends and family. Fabulous F-words. Fascinating F-words. Fashionable F-words. Favorable F-words. And if you think I'm frittering away a flock of F-words in this foreword, and that there will be too few left to file, you will fast find that you fancied foolishly. Here we flow...


1)  FUNIPENDULOUS:  Hanging by a rope or a cord.  Use it in a sentence:  "When he takes a shower, he always remembers to bring his funipendulous Gnome Soap On A Rope."

Well, that's kinda creepy...



2)  FABIFORM:  Shaped like a bean.  Use it in a sentence:  "Hey, wanna come swim in my pool? It's fabiform!"

Sure, sounds like fun...



3)  FUGACIOUS:  Inclined to run away or flee.  Use it in a sentence:  "The prisoner was denied bail, as he was deemed to be fugacious."

But he looks so trustworthy...



4)  FABULIST:  One who invents fables.  Use it in a sentence:  "Hans Christian Andersen was one of the greatest fabulists of all time."

He was also one of the ugliest...



5)  FRUMENTARIOUS:  Of, like, or pertaining to corn.  Use it in a sentence:  "My wife made corn pudding for Thanksgiving, and I found it to be extremely frumentarious."

 This isn't hers. This is "stolen" from the Internet. My wife's corn
pudding was too tasty to photograph. By the time someone grabbed
 a camera, the corn pudding would already have been in my stomach.



6)  FARROW:  To give birth to piglets.  Use it in a sentence:  "Hi-ho, Kermit The Frog here, reporting to you live from Old McDonald's farm, where my sweetie pie -- Miss Piggy -- has recently farrowed. Wahoo! I'm a daddy!"

They would make some weird-looking kids...



7)  FRITINIENCY:  The noise of insects.  Use it in a sentence:  "Experiencing nightly fritiniency is a major plus about living in the country."




8)  FECULENT:  Covered with filth; filthy.  Use it in a sentence:  "No matter how often he bathed, the boy continued to appear as feculent as ever."

Poor Pig-Pen...



9)  FOSSICK:  To search by turning over earth or rock.  Use it in a sentence:  "I've been fossicking all day long and I still haven't found a single dead body."

What kind of cemetery is this anyway?



10)  FILIOPIETISTIC:  Marked by excessive veneration of ancestors.  Use it in a sentence:  "Their filiopietistic culture disallowed them from appreciating their present families, causing much strife among their offspring."

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