In honor of March Madness, or in spite of it, or – actually this has nothing whatsoever to do with March Madness. But here you have it: a basketball-related acrostic with 12 phrases that accurately describe me on any given day of my life.
Perpetually late
Effortlessly verbose
Rudely interruptive
Statistically fascinated
Obviously overweight
Nonsensically adept
Alphabetically aware
Largely cynical
Frequently self-centered
Occasionally mean-spirited
Unnecessarily antagonistic
Lackadaisically inclined
Comment if you want a more detailed explanation of any of the above, but I think most are self-evident. And if you know me very well, you already know that they're entirely true. For good or ill. And if you didn't know me very well before, well, now you do.
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