I've never been a great joke teller. I've always wanted to be. But all I can seem to come up with are halfway-decent puns, which are always sure to elicit more groans than chuckles.
But today I'm feeling jokey, so here goes nothing. I know most of these are just silly and truly not that funny, but I did have fun putting them together. Don't feel obligated to laugh – I won't know either way if you do or don't.
To the best of my knowledge, they're all original (if I've copied someone somewhere or somehow, it was unintentional) – so if they're as awful as I think they are, I've only got myself to blame. Anyway, I hope you enjoy them, or enjoy groaning at them. Whatever...
Q: What is Ken and Barbie's favorite dish?
A: Barbie-Q Chic-Ken.
Q: What did the mafioso say when he introduced his dwarf girlfriend at the party?
A: "Say hello to my little friend."
Q: What did the airplane propeller say to the sweaty guy standing in front of it?
A: "I'm not a fan."
Q: Why did the Mac user's productivity suddenly plummet when his keyboard went on the fritz?
A: He lost "Control."
Q: What did the dust bunny say to the vacuum cleaner upon being discovered hiding under the couch?
A: You really suck!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
No, but I love that show!
Q: What did the camp counselor say to each kid when they had finished arranging their sleeping bags?
A: "You made your bed, now lie in it."
Q: What's the capital of Djibouti?
A: Djibouti....Why is that funny?
Q: It's not. I just like saying "Djibouti"!
Q: What did the cop say to the stupid criminals who had super-glued their hands to their weapons?
A: "Way to stick to your guns!"
Q: What did the orthopedic surgeon say to his patients when business was slow?
A: "Break a leg!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Guess.
Guess who?
I asked you first.
Q: What did the constantly-falling-off shoe say to the person wearing it?
A: "I think it's time we tie the knot."
Q: What did the mime whisper in his lover's ear?
A: Sweet nothings.
Q: What did the student say to his abacus?
A: "I'm counting on you!"
Q: What did the music minister say to the directionally-challenged pastor?
A: "You're preaching to the choir!"
Q: What did the hyena do on payday?
A: It laughed all the way to the bank.
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