Weird Baseball Cards

 If he doesn't catch any fly balls with that 

monstrosity, Mickey deserves to be tarred 

and feathered and sent of out town on a rail.

Gino wasn't very good at swinging the bat, 

but he loved to pretend like he was a slugger.

 Oscar loves his bat. I mean, really LOVES it. Creepy!

 Back in the day, baseball players didn't get paid

ridiculous salaries like they do these days. So

owning simple things – like tweezers or razors,

for example – were a luxury that not everyone 

could afford. Case in point: Wally here.

I've heard of 'roid rage, but even for José 

Canseco, this is more than a bit ridiculous. 

 Jay keeps cool and dry in rainy weather 

with his one-of-a-kind beer-can umbrella hat.

 As it turns out, Oscar didn't do so well at the

plate. But his hair hit 17 homeruns all by itself.

If anyone ever looked like a Stubby

 Clapp, this guy certainly did!

 You too can win Rookie Of The Year 

by working out with a dinky little barbell 

like the one Mike here is lifting. And if 

you call in the next five minutes, we'll 

double your order! That's right, you get

two barbells for the price of one! Just pay 

separate shipping and handling. CALL NOW!

 Have you hugged your 

dugout today? Rex has!

"I'm hoping that if I wear this 

thing long enough, someone will 

swing by and bring me tacos."

 "Can you hear me now? Good. Look,

I need to get off this ginormous cell

phone now. They're taking my picture

for the baseball card. Yes, I'll remember:

Bread, eggs, and Blueberry Pop Tarts.

Okay, love you too, honey. Bye."

"Why couldn't they take the picture

after my haircut? I mean, is that too

much to ask, guys? I reckon it is."

 "I like big snakes, and I cannot lie..."

"Hey, Sailor."