Tuesday, July 23, 2013

10 Suggestions For Naming The Royal Baby


With tongue planted firmly in cheek, I humbly submit the following names for consideration to the royal parents as they seek a proper name for their newborn son...



1)  MALCOLM

REASON:  So that the child can be retroactively 
referred to as "Malcolm In The Middleton."



2)  BOZO

REASON:  This would prove that the royals actually 
do have a sense of humor, while simultaneously 
validating the continued existence of clowns.



3)  HUMPERDINCK

REASON:  Because The Princess 
Bride was a fantastic movie. 'Nuff said.



4)  ELTON

REASON:  In honor of Sir Elton John, 
the reigning king of sappy pop music.



5)  JUSTIN

REASON:  To tick off all the Justin 
Bieber haters, of which I am one.



6)  FESTUS

REASON:  Because it's a ridiculously horrible
name, and is therefore extremely underused.



7)  TRACY

REASON:  If the child decides to undergo 
a sex change later in life, he won't have 
to bother with changing his name.



8)  ECNIRP

REASON:  Because having a name that reads the same 
way backwards as it does forwards would be AWESOME!



9)  ALBERT-IN-A-CAN

REASON:  Because some jokes never get old – 
they never get better, but they still never get old.



10)  SKIPPY

REASON:  Because even royalty needs to 
get picked on by their friends sometimes.

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