One of my all-time favorite actors and comedians passed away yesterday. And yes, I would have counted him among my favorites if you'd asked me two days ago. In memory of Robin Williams, here's a collection of some of his most memorable quotes. ~ JH
FUNNY QUOTES:
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person; they've got nothing to lose."
"We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
"Carpe per diem – seize the check."
"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason."
"A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills – no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while."
"Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift."
"You know the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer."
"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say, 'Stop, or I'll stay stop again.'"
"We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm."
"If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there."
THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUOTES:
"Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage, you're licensed to do that. It's an understood relationship. You walk on stage – it's your job."
"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
"Comedy is acting out optimism."
"In America, they really do mythologize people when they die."
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone – it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone."
"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to."
"Death is nature's way of saying, 'Your table is ready.'"
"You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars."
"Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget."
"I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be."
"Only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be."
"You have this idea that you'd better keep working, otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous."
"There is still a lot to learn, and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful."
"It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you – when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead."
"The only weapon we have is comedy."
"The brightest light has gone out."
Yes, it has, Robin. R.I.P.
