Things I Find Fascinating: Creepy Santas

It's that time of year when parents haul their adorable little boys and girls to the mall or to their local department store to wait in a long line to sit on the lap of a slightly bored, minimum-wage Santa Claus impersonator and tell him what they want for Christmas, then pose with him for overpriced photos in which said children are usually too frightened to smile and are more often than not captured in mid-cry, and the parents vow never, never again to take their child to see Santa, or at least not until the child is a bit older and maybe not even then, because by that time their child will be too old to care or even to believe. Ah, Christmas!

In honor of that time-honored tradition, or perhaps in spite of it, I present you with a compendium of creepy-looking Santa Clauses compiled from various Internet sites. Enjoy...or be creeped out. Whichever feels right to you...

"There's no need to be afraid of me, little girl. I'm

a jolly elf. I make toys. And nightmares, too."

"You're safe with me, little one. And by 'safe,' I mean that

there's no possible chance of you ever getting away..."

"Oh yeah, old man? Well, here's 

what I think of your naughty list!"

"You got any spare change for

an old man? Santa needs a fix."

"I asked Santa for a switchblade.

He said he'd bring me two!"

"So sorry, dearies. Mrs. Claus made baked beans and

cabbage last night, and I went back for seconds."

"Ho-ho-hopeless...what do I have to live for? I might

as well just die. Skedaddle, little ones – Santa's got a 

bus to walk in front of. Oh yeah...Merry Christmas!"

He sees you when you're sleeping. 

He knows when you're awake. 

He has knives for fingers. Sleep tight!

"Drinking? What makes you drink I've been thinking?"

Santa's real glad they didn't do a background check.

Serial killers look just like everybody else. Why,

they could be your next-door neighbors. Or even

someone you pass at the shopping mall. Uh-oh...

I don't blame ya, kid. I wouldn't want that guy hugging me either.

"I was on Broadway. I was nominated for a Tony.

And this is what my life has come to?" (sigh...)

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you trust me with your kids."

"Mama, I don't think this is the real Santa. He

looks more like the Abominable Snowman."

"Santa, will you stop leering at me? I already

told you, elves are forbidden from going out

with Santas. It's in the employee handbook!"

"Ellos no me pagan lo suficiente como para hacer esto."

"Yes, I know the makeup is a tad much, but

don't judge! It makes me feel so pretty!"

"When you've been peed on fifteen times in

one night, this is about as merry as it gets."

"Hush your fuss, kid! You ain't hurt. But if

you don't keep quiet, you're gonna be!"

"Christmas! Humbug!"

"He told me he was the real Santa. I told him I

was 8 years old. It just goes to show you can

never believe what you read on the Internet."

25 Songs With "Baby" In The Title

Since baby stuff is fresh on my mind – having had an awesome baby shower at church last night – I decided to post a collection of songs with "Baby" in the title. Not surprisingly, my search brought up far more possible choices than I could or ever should include in one blog post, but I don't necessarily want this to be an ongoing series, so I did include quite a few. (Feel free to skip around as you choose. I sure won't know the difference!) Many of the songs don't really have a whole lot to do with actual infants. Rather, the "baby" being referred to in these songs is one's significant other, whether that means a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or other "other." After pondering whether I cared if they were relevant or not for about five seconds, I decided that I didn't. A good number of these songs are golden oldies, while a few (albeit somewhat inferior ones) are more modern. But there should be something to satisfy pretty much all musical tastes here. Enjoy!

1)  The Four Tops  ~  "Baby, I Need Your Loving"

2)  Chicago  ~  "Baby, What A Big Surprise"  (our baby's already big – no surprise there)

3)  Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five  ~   "Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby?"

4)  Mariah Carey  ~  "Always Be My Baby"

5)  Buddy Holly & The Crickets  ~  "Maybe Baby"

6)  Elvis Presley  ~  "Baby, What You Want Me To Do"

7)  Amy Grant  ~  "Baby, Baby"

8)  Them  ~  "Baby, Please Don't Go"

9)  Britney Spears  ~  "...Baby One More Time"  (don't judge!)

10)  Aretha Franklin  ~  "Baby, I Love You"

11)  The Kinks  ~  "Wonder Where My Baby Is Tonight"  (I hope we never have to ask that question...)

12)  Big Mountain  ~  "Baby, I Love Your Way"

13)  Army Of Lovers  ~  "Baby's Got A Neutron Bomb"  (weirdest song I've ever heard!)

14)  Bread  ~  "Baby, I'm A Want You"

15)  Dusty Springfield  ~  "I Can't Wait Until I See My Baby's Face"

16)  Justin Bieber  ~  "Baby"  (yes, I did go there...I don't know why!)

17)  The Drifters  ~  "There Goes My Baby"

18)  Bruce Channel  ~  "Hey Baby"

19)  Whitney Houston  ~  "I'm Your Baby Tonight"

20)  The Shirelles  ~  "Baby, It's You"

21)  The Beach Boys  ~  "Don't Worry, Baby"

22)  Vanilla Ice  ~  "Ice Ice Baby"  (you had to know I'd include this one...word to your mother!)

23)  The Foundations  ~  "Baby, Now That I've Found You"  (natural follow-up song to #11?)

24)  Marvin Gaye  ~  "Too Busy Thinking 'Bout My Baby"

25)  Katy Perry  ~  "(Baby, You're A) Firework"  (I cheated a little on this one ["baby" is not actually part of the title], but I had to include it, because – confession time – I have already sung this song to our kiddo in the womb!)

POSTSCRIPT:  I know I left some prominent "baby" songs out – in some cases, it was on purpose because of the song's content. In other cases, the song may have been a good choice but was too obscure and I couldn't find a link to it on YouTube. Anyway, I think 25 is more than enough. ~ JH

An Interview With Whifferdill's Ruth Webb

Today I'm talking with budding master crafter (and awesome sister-in-law), Ruth Webb, owner and artist of the Etsy.com shop, "Whifferdill."

JH:  So, for those of us aren't familiar with it, tell us a little bit about yourself and about Whifferdill. 

RW:  Well, my name is Ruth. I make my home in Durham, N.C., with my wonderful husband and 3 (yes, three!) crazy dogs. We are definitely dog people, if you couldn’t tell from that whole ‘three of them’ thing…LOL.  I am a stay-at-home crafter and I’m lucky enough that I get to spend my days with my retired firefighter (and Navy Corpsman….and general all-around hero) husband. Amazingly enough, we don’t get on each others’ nerves. And we have a ton of fun together. I am blessed to be able to do what I love in my own home surrounded by people (and critters) who love me.

JH:  Where did you come up with the name "Whifferdill", by the way? 

RW:  It’s kind of a weird name, isn’t it? In my family, instead of saying “Make a u-turn” when we need to be driving the opposite direction, we say “Flip a whifferdill!”. I have no idea why we started saying it. But there you go. We’re kind of a weird family. I have heard that the term is actually German, but I haven’t really researched it. When I decided to start my own craft business, I brainstormed quite a few names. Then one day a light bulb clicked on in my head and out came Whifferdill. You see, I’d been working for a marketing company for 7 years. And I wasn’t terribly happy. Don’t get me wrong, I worked with very cool people and was glad to have a job in tough economic times. But I wasn’t being very creative. And that, in a word, sucked. It was time for a change. It was time to flip a whifferdill and get back to what makes me happy. So I embarked on this crazy journey and I really feel like I’m going in the right direction.

JH:  Was Whifferdill always in the works for you, or did it sort of naturally evolve? 

RW:  Yes and no, at the same time. I know, that’s quite an illuminating answer. Lemme explain…. I knew I wasn’t happy in my job. And I knew I needed to do something creative. I’ve always been creative and crafty, but owning my own business was not something that I’d ever really considered. I didn’t spend my childhood dreaming of owning a craft business (I dreamt of being an elephant trainer. Or a checkout lady at the grocery store. I was a weird kid.) But this past spring, finances came together and circumstances coalesced and I was able to quit my job. And all of a sudden, I knew that I could do this. That I would have the time and some resources to turn a wee little thought in the back of my head into a reality. So in July, I registered my business name, got my license, and the permission to do business out of my home. The rest, as they say, is history.

JH:  How has turning your hobby into a business changed your feelings about it? 

RW:  Good question. Sometimes crafting the same thing over and over again makes you go bonkers. I find that there are days when I think I’ll scream if I have to make one more felt flower. That’s when I switch gears, put down the felt, and grab my crochet hook. Or my quilling tool. Or a paint brush. Or hop on the laptop and write a blog post or list an item on Etsy. The good thing about owning your own business is that you know when you’ve had enough. You know when you are getting burned out. And there’s always a million and one other things to attend to or make. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. Someone needs an item made immediately and shipped quickly. So you just crank up the Motown station on Pandora and power through it while singing at the top of your lungs. I will always love crafting. I know this deep down. Having it be my livelihood definitely adds pressure into the mix and some days that pressure feels overwhelming. But to me, pressure can be a good thing.

JH:  What is your creative process like? 

RW:  I am definitely a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal when it comes to the creative process. I usually start out with just a general idea of what I want something to look like. I don’t sketch it out on paper or have every element mapped out in my head. Some folks work that way. And I give them huge props for their planning skills. I just kind of….start. As I’m going along, I’ll add in different colors or subtract colors, try out different arrangements, fiddle with stuff. And it almost always happens that I’ll just let the wreath or picture frame or whatever sit in its almost-done state and come back to it with fresh eyes. Usually I’m able to see what it’s missing. That something that gives it the personality and charm that makes me happy.

JH:  What are your long-term goals for Whifferdill? Where do you hope to be with it in, say, five years? 

RW:  Hmm. I really think that I would like to be doing what I’m doing now – selling on Etsy and attending craft fairs. I didn’t go into this wanting to become a multi-millionaire or some crafting mogul. All I really want is enough money to pay the car payment each month and to buy more supplies. It would be really cool to do enough business to hire another employee to have help with the day-to-day running of the business. Plus, I could pawn off all the stuff that I’m not a fan of doing onto that person…. Like bookkeeping. And accounting. And doing taxes. Really, anything involving numbers.

JH:  What advice would you give to someone who is thinking about starting their own craft business? Specifically, what's the most important thing they should know going into it? 

RW:  Be prepared to wear every single hat that you can think of involving running a business. Customer service, shipping guru, creative director, photographer, editor, copywriter, accountant, tech support, brand manager, janitor, sales clerk, marketing director…the list goes on and on. You don’t have to like all of these aspects. There are some that really aren’t my favorite things in the world to do. But you have to do them. And most of them really are doable for the average crafter. I guess you have to ask yourself if wearing all those hats is something that will make you happy.

JH:  Okay, enough about the business end of things. Wait, that didn't sound right! Anyway... With Whifferdill, what particular craft would you consider to be your greatest achievement so far? 

RW:  I think my wreaths are my greatest achievement. I haven’t really seen anything like them anywhere and I really enjoy making them. I also am proud of the crocheted lace necklaces. When I first started making them, I had never crocheted lace. I only knew the basics of crochet and had only ever made scarves. But I sat down with my tiny crochet hook and thread and came up with the patterns all by myself. Feeling that accomplishment is a great thing.

JH:  What are you most skilled at, craft-wise, and what craft skills would you like to be more skilled at? 

RW:  I think I’m most skilled at making felt flowers. I’ve made hundreds and hundreds at this point. I would really like to become a wiz at my sewing machine. I am kind of intimidated by it and I’ve never made anything more complicated than a pair of pillow cases. But I have made myself a promise that I will make a quilt in 2013 from start to finish. All by myself. Well, with a little help from tutorials on the Internet.

JH:  What are the crafting tools that you simply can't live without? 

RW:  Number one would have to go to my hot glue gun. We have a love/hate relationship (I’m surprised I still have fingerprints considering the number of times I’ve had scalding glue burn my fingertips…), but I would be lost without him. Yes, the glue gun is a ‘he’. My sewing machine, on the other hand, is a ‘she’. I don’t use her that much (because I’m easily intimidated by seemingly complicated machinery), but I want to make her a tool that I can’t live without. She and I will be besties one day, I just know it.

JH:  What do you do when you're suffering a creative block to "unblock"? 

RW:  I simply step away from whatever it is that I’m making. If I’m getting frustrated and flustered, I know that it won’t get any better just staring at it. So I’ll go do something else. Usually something that doesn’t require creativity. Sometimes it takes just an hour or two. Sometimes it can take a week. But I eventually come back to the item and start fiddling with it and presto change-o, the ideas have started flowing again.

JH:  If you could be any crafter or artist – past or present – for a day, who would it be and why? 

RW:  You know, I’ve never really thought about this. It would be cool to have the brand recognition that other crafty people have. But I really don’t think I’d like to be anybody else. I like me. And I like how crafting has defined a part of me. I have a unique and particular style that says “Whifferdill” and that really is deeply satisfying.

JH:  Last but not least, let's talk Christmas. Do you have anything special going on with Whifferdill leading up to the holiday season? 

RW:  I actually just started a Christmas promotion – the 12 Days of Christmas. If you go to my Facebook page, you can find the coupon code to receive 12% off your order now through Dec. 12th!

JH:  Awesome! Speaking of Facebook and Etsy, where can we find you on the Internet? 

RW:  You can find me lots of places! Here’s some links….

The Etsy shop:  http://www.whifferdill.etsy.com 

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Whifferdill/102867023193320 

Twitter: @whifferdill2012

Blog:  http://whifferdillcrafts.blogspot.com 

I'm also starting to do some local craft fairs. The details of where I'll be and when can be found on my Facebook page. 

JH:  Great! Well, thank you, Ruth, for taking the time to speak with us today! 

RW:  Thanks for having me! And thank you for being an awesome bro-in-law :) One more thing....could you possibly tell Mary to hurry this whole baby-having thing up so I can meet my nephew??? Pretty please??? 

My 15 Favorite Christmas Movies

Confession: I love Christmas movies. In all shapes and sizes. Old ones. New ones. Animated ones. Live-action ones. If it's Christmas-related in any way, there's a good chance I'll like it.

But there are a few movies that I absolutely must see every Christmas, or it just isn't the same. These are those...in no particular order:

 A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

A Christmas Carol (1984)

Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas (1977)

 A Garfield Christmas Special (1987)

 Holiday Inn (1942)

 VeggieTales: The Star Of Christmas (2002)

 Home Alone (1990)

Miracle On 34th Street (1947)

 Miracle On 34th Street (1994)

White Christmas (1954)

Winnie The Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year (2002)

Mr. Krueger's Christmas (1980)

 Prancer (1989)

 It's A Wonderful Life (1946)

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

 How The Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

The Good, The Bad, And The In-Between

Time for a long, rambling update of everything that's going on in our lives at the present time. Aren't you lucky?


THE GOOD:

~  At almost 35 weeks of pregnancy, Mom and baby are doing very well. Mary's blood pressure is not high (that was initially a concern, but hasn't been an issue throughout) and she does not have gestational diabetes (also something they were watching for at first).

~  Baby is already head-down, he's practicing his breathing, his heart rate is normal, and he's very active.


THE BAD:

~  Mary's job as a teacher requires her to be on her feet much of the work day. So...her feet and legs swell daily and it's very painful. I rub her feet and lower legs every night for at least half an hour, and it helps – for about ten minutes or so – but the swelling never completely goes away now. Sleeping is difficult for her, because no position is truly comfortable. Many "normal" things that she was able to do before pregnancy are more difficult or even impossible right now.


THE IN-BETWEEN:

~  Baby already weighs approximately 6.9 lbs.! The doctor we met with this week told us that he is still within the normal range (accounting for an up to 15% margin for error on the ultrasound measurements), but that Mary will likely not be allowed to go past her due date (January 5th); the implication was that Baby Boy may be ready to arrive even earlier.



THE GOOD:

~  We have two possible names (first and middle name combinations) picked out for Baby Boy that Mary and I both like a lot.


THE BAD:

~  We can't decide which name to choose. I have my favorite between the two, and immediate family members and close friends have also cast their votes in favor of one or the other. But Mary's name preference changes from day to day, and I'm truly okay with either one (which doesn't help much either).


THE IN-BETWEEN:

~  It is entirely possible that Baby Boy may not have a name until he gets here. And that's okay. Apologies to anyone who may have been hoping to embroider a blanket or whatever with kiddo's name on it prior to his birth.



THE GOOD:

~  We are not going to have to move out of our house and into a new one before Christmas or before baby arrives.

~  Which means that we are going to be able to decorate the house for Christmas as well as set up the nursery for the baby.


THE BAD:

~  We have this newfound flexibility because, unfortunately, the sale of our house fell through. The husband of the family who wished to buy the house found out – after we had agreed on a price and signed the contract (but prior to delivering the earnest money check) – that his job was going to be transferred to Raleigh. He did not wish to be transferred, and began the process of appealing the move to his employers. However, his workplace was extremely slow in getting back with him, and two weeks after we thought we had a deal, he'd still not received an answer back. With us already working on an extremely short time frame to find a new place to live, pack up our current place, and etc. all before Christmas and before baby arrives, the even shorter time frame was not going to work for us at all. With no earnest money check in hand, the deal was not official, and we chose to pull out, and subsequently to pull our house off the market until after we're a bit more settled with the baby.


THE IN-BETWEEN:

~  Though not selling the house is disappointing, we now have more time to look for a house that's right for us, and more time to better determine what we can and can't afford to spend on a house, and what location would be ideal for us as well. (This point should probably be in the "THE GOOD" column, but let's not quibble over trivialities.)

~  We have left the door open for the prospective buyers to make a new offer if they find out in the coming weeks that he is not going to be transferred to Raleigh. If their family is remaining here and they still wish to purchase our house, we will make it available to them even if it's not technically still on the market. At that point, with us having the baby and knowing better how much time we'd actually need to be out without being rushed, we would set the closing date in order for a deal to be completed. It may happen, and it may not, but we thought it prudent to not completely close the door on a potential sale.



THE GOOD:

~  I actually have more vacation time than I thought at first and am going to be able to spend a full two weeks at home with Mary after the baby comes! This was very important to me – I was willing to take family medical leave if necessary – but fortunately everything worked out in our favor.


THE BAD:

~  This is not technically a "BAD" thing for me, but it might disappoint a handful of people. Due to the fact that I will soon be helping take care of a brand new person and will be as involved as possible in all that entails, I will not be directing the Easter drama at our church this upcoming year. A replacement director is already being recruited and should be decided upon one way or the other very soon. I will be available to consult, but my "hands-on" involvement will be minimal at best. Will I miss doing it? Of course I will. I've been involved in the drama ministry in some form or fashion for over a dozen years now. Is it worth it to miss it? Absolutely! Those are the first few months of my child's life. I can't get that time back. I want to be there with him and my wife. And I will be.


THE IN-BETWEEN:

~  I only get two weeks to be home with Mary and baby! I think it's a travesty that many employers (mine included) don't offer paternity leave. It is expected that men these days will be more involved in the care of their children. Many fathers, myself included, actually want to be very involved. And yet, we men have to burn all of our vacation time in order to do that. It's not fair, but that's the way it is. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now.



THE GOOD:

~  Today is the 335th straight day that I've blogged! Which means that I only have 31 days to go (it's a Leap Year, remember). I don't know about you, but even I am impressed with that! And amazed, frankly, considering all the craziness that's gone on this year. Did I know in advance that this – of all years – would be the year that we'd finally have a kid? Nope! Or that this would be the year we'd finally get our act together and actively try to sell our house? Negative! Did I anticipate any of the other strange and wonderful things that have happened throughout the course of this year? Not at all! It just worked out that way. But hey, it's given me plenty to blog about, right?


THE BAD:

~  Ugh! I still have 31 days left! What else is left for me to write about at this point?


THE IN-BETWEEN:

~  Don't you worry about that! I still have plenty of ideas. Not good ones, mind you. But ideas nonetheless. Stay tuned...