Things I Find Fascinating: Odd Jobs That U.S. Presidents Held Before They Were President

A few days ago, I posted an entry about the nicknames of the U.S. Presidents. If you missed it, you can read it here. As several of the nicknames that Presidents have had were directly or indirectly related to their personal background and sometimes their previous professions, I wondered – outside of politics – what kinds of crazy (or even mundane) jobs have U.S. Presidents held prior to becoming Presidents. And here's what I found out...

(BLOGGER'S NOTE:  The Presidential "quotes" are mostly derived from my own imagination. One of them is real, though. I'll let you figure that one out for yourself.)

"Let me just take that in a bit on the sides for you."

Andrew Johnson  ~  Tailor

"Skip school one more time, lad, and

I'll run you in for truancy. Your sentence

shall be 40 hours of community service

running the front counter at my store." 

Grover Cleveland  ~  Sheriff, 

Schoolteacher, and Store Clerk

"I hope you've learned your lesson. If not,

well then, it's the paddle for you, child!"

Chester Arthur ~  Schoolteacher and Principal

"I do not believe there is any life more attractive to a

vigorous young fellow than life on a cattle ranch."

Theodore Roosevelt  ~  Cattle Rancher

"Now I know we may not speak the same language,

but there's one thing I'm sure we can all agree

upon. And that is, of course, that it's suppertime. 

Why, I'm so hungry I could eat a Filipino horse!"

William Howard Taft  ~  
Governor-General of the Philippines

"Life is uncertain, madam. That is why I must urge

you to do these three things. First, respect the land.

It depends on you, and you depend on it. Second,

subscribe to the newspaper. In this way, you can

stay connected with your world. Finally, in the

event of your unfortunate and unexpected death,

your family must be provided for. This policy gives

you peace of mind, knowing they'll be taken care of."

Warren Harding  ~  Farmer, Newspaper 

Publisher/Editor, and Insurance Salesman

"I'm sorry, we're fresh out of the Tickle Me

Elmo's. But I can whip up a Cabbage

Patch doll for you, if you'd like."

Calvin Coolidge  ~  Toymaker

"I never met a peanut I didn't like."

Jimmy Carter  ~  Peanut Farmer

"He hasn't hit a homerun all month long. I say we

execute him! What? We can't do that in baseball?

Just in Texas? My bad! Then we'll trade the chump!"

George W. Bush  ~  Baseball Team Owner

"Would you like that in a cone, a cup, or a

waffle cone? Any sprinkles for you today?"

Barack Obama  ~  Ice Cream

Scooper at Baskin Robbins

JACKS OF ALL TRADES:  These future Presidents held a number of interesting and mundane jobs prior to becoming politicians and eventually Presidents. I have neither the time nor the energy to fabricate long, complicated, and completely imaginary quotes for all of them. Just take hope in the fact that you, too, could become President someday. Even if your job isn't that glamorous right now.

Abraham Lincoln  ~  Postmaster, Ferry 

Boat Operator, Store Clerk, and Farmer

James Garfield  ~  Schoolteacher, 

Carpenter, Minister, and Janitor

Herbert Hoover  ~  Newsboy, Launderer, 

Farmer, Engineer, and Geologist

Harry Truman  ~  Railroad Timekeeper, Farmer,

Mailroom Clerk, Bank Clerk, and Haberdasher*

(*proprietor of a men's clothing store)

Lyndon Johnson  ~  Fruit Picker, Farmer,

Shoeshine Boy, Dishwasher, Elevator Operator,

Road Construction Laborer, Trapper, 

Trash Collector, Janitor, and Schoolteacher

Gerald Ford  ~  Busboy, Cook, Dishwasher, Park Ranger,

Fashion Model*, Football Coach, and Boxing Coach
(*click here for a modeling picture of Ford 
on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine)

Ronald Reagan  ~  Lifeguard, Construction Worker,
Circus Roustabout, Dishwasher, Swimming Coach,
Radio Announcer, and Film/Television Actor

SOURCES:
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0768854.html

http://www.savvysugar.com/Former-Jobs-US-Presidents-24648785

http://library.thinkquest.org/08aug/01450/jobs.html

Another Baker's Dozen Of Songs By Innovative, Imaginative, And Incredibly Interesting Icelandic Bands

This is the second post in a mini-series exploring the music of Iceland. If you missed the first installment, you can view it here. If you don't feel like going back and looking at that post, I understand – because I don't feel like writing a new intro for this one. So here's how I led into the videos last time for those of you who missed it...

"Regular readers of this blog may recall from previous posts that I am slightly obsessed with the country of Iceland. I revel in any and all opportunities to discover more about this wonderfully enigmatic island nation.

This time around, I decided to explore the modern music of Iceland. And I was delighted – but not altogether surprised – to find that Icelandic bands are producing music that's not only on par with, but in some cases far superior to the music of the rest of the world. Here's a smattering of songs by bands I'd heretofore *never heard of, but with whom I am now enamored. I hope you'll enjoy listening to these as much as I did..."

(*I have heard of Bjork before, and have been a big fan for a dozen years or more. All the rest are new to me...)

1)  Apparat Organ Quartet  ~  "123 Forever"

2)  Bang Gang  ~  "The World Is Gray"

3)  Benny Crespo's Gang  ~  "Night Time"

3)  Björk  ~  "It's Oh So Quiet"

5)  Bloodgroup  ~  "Overload"

6)  Borko  ~  "Born To Be Free"

7)  Dark Harvest  ~  "Sunny Valentino"

8)  Dikta  ~  "Thank You"

9)  FM BELFAST  ~  "Underwear"

10)  For A Minor Reflection  ~  "Dansi Dans"

11)  Hafdis Huld  ~  "Synchronised Swimmers"

12)  Jónsi  ~  "Go Do"

13)  Lay Low ~  "Please Don't Hate Me"

Words I'm Glad I Didn't Write: Lame Lyrics From Justin Bieber Songs

I've made no secret of the fact that I don't care for pop star Justin Bieber. It's not that the kid's a no-talent hack. Bieber's actually a good singer. It's not that I'm jealous of his adulation by millions of teenage girls. I don't want to be anybody's idol. It's mostly that Bieber's "music" is so inane and lifeless that there's no way it should be as popular as it has been so far. Case in point, the following Justin Bieber song lyrics, which could have been – and may have been, for all I know – written by any marginally talented preteen with only the shallowest understanding of love (and music, for that matter). The songs may be catchy (and they are, for the most part), but the lyrics are crap, for lack of a better word. For example...


"When I met you, girl
My heart went knock, knock
Now them butterflies
In my stomach won't stop, stop
And even though it's a struggle
Love is all we got
So we gonna keep, keep climbin'
To the mountain top..."
~   "One Time"


"Shawty right there
She's got everything I need
And I'm a tell her one time
One time, one time
Give you everything you need
Down to my last dime
She makes me happy
I know where I'll be
Right by your side
'Cause she is the one..."
~  "One Time"


"My prize possession
One and only
Adore ya, girl, I want ya
The one I can't live without
That's you, that's you
You're my special little lady
The one that makes me crazy
Of all the girls I've ever known
It's you, it's you
My favorite, my favorite
My favorite, my favorite girl
My favorite girl
Baby it's you
My favorite, my favorite
My favorite, my favorite girl
My favorite girl..."
~  "Favorite Girl"


"So it's up to you and it's up to me
That we meet in the middle
On our way back down to earth
Down to earth, down to earth
On our way back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth
Back down to earth..."
~  "Down To Earth"


"I was a player when I was little
But now I'm bigger, I'm bigger
A heartbreaker when I was little
But I'm bigger, I'm bigger, I'm bigger
And all the haters, I swear
They look so small from up here
'Cause we're bigger, our love's bigger
I'm bigger, and you're bigger..."
~  "Bigger"


"I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm coming for you
I'm gonna put you first
I'm coming for you
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl..."
~  "One Less Lonely Girl"


"And I was like
Baby, baby, baby, ohhh!
Like baby, baby, baby, nooo!
Like baby, baby, baby, ohhh!
I thought you'd always be mine, mine..."
~  "Baby"


"Baby, listen
I just need somebody to love
I don't need too much
Just somebody to love
Somebody to love
I don't need nothing else
I promise, girl, I swear
I just need somebody to love
I need somebody
I need somebody
I need somebody
I need somebody..."
~  "Somebody To Love"


"Baby, take my open heart
And all it offers
'Cause this is as unconditional
As it'll ever get
You ain't seen nothing yet
I won't ever hesitate
To give you more
'Cause baby, hey
U smile, I smile, whoa-oh-oh-oh
U smile, I smile
Hey, hey, hey
U smile, I smile
I smile, I smile, I smile
U smile, I smile
Make me smile, baby..."
~  "U Smile"


"Let the music blast
We gonna do our dance
Bring the doubters on
They don't matter at all
'Cause this life's too long
And this love's too strong
So, baby, know for sure
That I'll never let you go..."
~  "Never Let You Go"


"I'm overboard
And I need your love to pull me up
I can't swim on my own
It's too much
Feel like I'm drowning without your love
So throw yourself out to me, my life saver
Life saver, oh life saver
My life saver
Life saver, oh life saver
Whoa..."
~  "Overboard"


"Baby what you doin'
Where you at, where you at?
Why you actin' so shy
Holdin' back, holdin' back?
We're not the only ones
Doin' it like that, it like that
So, DJ, bring that, bring that
Bring that, bring that back..."
~  "All Around The World"


"If I was your boyfriend
I'd never let you go
I can take you places
You ain't never been before
Baby, take a chance
Or you'll never, ever know
I got money on my hands
That I'd really like to blow
Swag, swag, swag, on you
Chillin' by the fire
While we eatin' fondue
I don't know about me
But I know about you
So say hello to falsetto
In three, two, swag..."
~  "Boyfriend"


"I can take you out
I can take you home
I can take you oh-oh-oh
Where you wanna go
I can pick it up
We could take it slow
I can take you home..."
~  "Take You"


"Could there be a possibility
I'm trying to say what's up
'Cause I'm made for you, and you for me
Baby, now it's time for us
Tryin' to keep it all together
But enough is enough
They say we're too young for love
But I'm catching feelings
Doo-do-doo-doo-do-do-do-do-do-do-doo
Catching feelings
Doo-do-doo-doo-do-do-do-do-do-do-doo..."
~  "Catching Feelings"


"If I could just die in your arms
I wouldn't mind
'Cause every time you touch me
I just die in your arms
Oooh, it feels so right
So baby, baby
Please don't stop, girl
Mm-hmm, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, alright
Mm-hmm, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, alright..."
~  "Die In Your Arms"


"'Cause I'm in love with the thought of you
With the thought of you, with the thought of you
I'm in love with the thought of you
Not the things you do, but the thought of you
Girl, I'm in love with the thought of you, you, you
Girl, I'm in love with the thought of you, you, you
Girl, I'm in love with the thought of you, you, you
Girl, I'm in love with the thought of you..."
~  "Thought Of You"


"All you gotta do is swag
All you gotta do is swag, yeah
All you gotta do is swag, swag, swag, yeah
All you gotta do is swag
All you gotta do is swag
All you gotta do is swag, swag, swag..."
~  "Out Of Town Girl"

Stories # 7, # 8, & # 9: "Second Banana," "Just Peachy," & "The Lemon"

Since these three are all very short pieces and all have some type of fruit name in their titles, I decided to group them together into a single post. Hopefully, you'll enjoy them. Maybe you won't. There's some subtle humor integrated into all of them. I hope you get it. If not, let me know, and I'll work harder at it next time. Thanks for the read!  ~  JH

"SECOND BANANA"  (100 words)

I've never been much of a fruit person. Apples are too much work and brown quickly. Oranges are messy and not very filling. Grapes freak me out – anything that goes "pop" inside my mouth just feels wrong. Cantaloupes are good, but it's always hard to tell if you're getting a ripe one. Don't even get me started on coconuts! Bananas I can handle. They're easy to eat, no matter where you are. They have their own built-in wrapper, so your hands don't get all goopy. And they flat-out taste delicious! I'm having my second one of the day. Sheer perfection!

"JUST PEACHY"  (250 words)

How was my day? Well, I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say I've had better. On second thought, what else have you got to do but listen to me whine? You don't have a job. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have a life! You just sit around like a lump mooching off poor saps like me! So sit there and listen to what I have to say! In fact, I dare you to move! People like you give people like me a bad name, and I've about reached my limit! How was my day? I'll tell you how my day was! I wrecked my car on the way to work and had to hitchhike the rest of the way, only to find out when I got there that I didn't get that promotion I was hoping for. Sometime after lunch, I lost my wallet with my money and credit cards inside, along with that WalMart gift card I've been saving for a special occasion. Then, I tripped getting out of the car on my second hitchhike of the day and chipped my tooth! And now I'm standing here telling my troubles to an ungrateful loser who doesn't know when he's worn out his welcome and who has the gall to ask me how my day was on a day like today! Well, my day was just peachy, thank you very much for asking! Now get out of my sight before I make you lose yours!

"THE LEMON"  (320 words)

I've never been what you would call a Mr. Fix It when it comes to automobiles. In fact, if you were to show me three random auto parts and tell me to identify the carburetor among them, I would probably point to the headlight. 

Every time I've bought a car, I've brought my uncle – a "real" mechanic – or another knowledgeable friend or relative along with me, so that I wouldn't get hoodwinked into buying a hunk of junk. Until last Tuesday. 

Confession: I hate car salesmen. They're slimy, unscrupulous, and downright dishonest, and I don't know enough to call them on their game. But desperate times call for stupid mistakes, apparently. 

I decided to go car hunting last Tuesday – or rather, it was decided for me, as my previous vehicle had finally reached its end of life after years of mostly faithful service. My uncle was working that day and couldn't come along, and everyone else I asked was also unavailable. I would just go and look, I vowed, take copious notes, and return to those I trusted and seek their advice. Just looking, not buying, I told myself. And then it happened. 

The dirty, rotten car dealership had the nerve, the unmitigated gall, to have the most gorgeous female creature known to man approach and ask me if she could help me. 

A car saleslady? Is that even possible? And one this beautiful? It simply wasn't fair. But it was happening. One glance into her bright green eyes and I was utterly mesmerized.

I don't remember the next few hours. When I finally came to my senses, I was in the parking lot of my apartment sitting behind the wheel of a heaving, groaning, clanging, humming, clattering monstrosity of a vehicle. 

A bill of sale sat in the passenger seat next to me. The gorgeous saleslady was nowhere to be seen. But apparently I had bought a car. Crap.

Interesting Quotes By Famous People Named Billy

Here we have 15 interesting quotes by famous guys named Billy. Why? Well, why not?

1)  "Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might well be your own, instead of someone else's."  ~  Billy Wilder, film director

2)  "The world is wrong side up. It needs to be turned upside down in order to be right side up."  ~  Billy Sunday, evangelist

3)  "I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection."  ~  Billy Joel, singer/songwriter

4)  "Calm, open debate and logical thought drive strength to its maximum effectiveness."  ~  Billy Corgan, rock musician

5)  "Romance is mush, stifling those who strive."  ~  Billy Strayhorn, composer

6)  "God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with."  ~  Billy Graham, evangelist

7)  "If your world doesn't allow you to dream, move to one where you can."  ~  Billy Idol, rock musician

8)  "Life's a pitch, then you buy."  ~  Billy Mays, TV pitchman

9)  "Getting the nomination is like gravy. Winning would be like whatever is better than gravy."  ~  Billy Bob Thornton, film actor

10)  "Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls are prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener."  ~  Billy Martin, baseball player/manager

11)  "Success can create more madness than happiness."  ~  Billy Ocean, singer/songwriter

12)  "I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."  ~  Billy Crystal, comedian

13)  "My limits are limitless. I find my limits every time I act."  ~  Billy Crudup, film actor

14)  "Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting."  ~  Billy Rose, entertainer

15)  "You're born. You suffer. You die. Fortunately, there's a loophole."  ~  Billy Graham, evangelist

Surprisingly Good Songs By Indie Bands With Slightly Ridiculous Names, Vol. 4

One last time, for old time's sake. This will be my last entry in this particular mini-series, for three reasons:

1)  Four installments is plenty.
2)  The well is running dry.
3)  I'm kinda bored with it by now.

That being said, here are 10 surprisingly good songs by bands with rather ridiculous monikers. Really interesting videos, too, actually. Enjoy?


1)  We Have Band  ~  "Divisive"

2)  What Laura Says  ~  "Training"

3)  We Were Promised Jetpacks  ~  "Quiet Little Voices"

4)  What Made Milwaukee Famous  ~  "Sultan"

5)  The Whitest Boy Alive  ~  "Golden Cage"

6)  The Wilderness Of Manitoba  ~  "Morning Sun"

7)  Wolf In A Spacesuit  ~  "Amber Hand"

8)  The Working Title  ~  "The Mary Getaway (I Lost Everything)"

9)  Yourself And The Air  ~  "Sick Days"

10)  Zoos Of Berlin  ~  "Black In The Sun Room"