17 Justin Bieber Quotes That Seem Ridiculous Now

In light of his recent...troubles, I thought these older quotes from The Bieb were very...interesting. I won't make any commentary on them, as it isn't really necessary. The irony is clear in each and every one of these statements. ~  JH

"I'm looking forward to influencing others 

in a positive way. My message is you can do 

anything if you just put your mind to it."

"I think that people are just waiting for that

time when I make a mistake and they're 

gonna jump on it… There's gonna be haters."

"Friends are the best to turn to 

when you're having a rough day."

"I'm crazy, I'm nuts. Just the way 

my brain works. I'm not normal.

I think differently."

"Not trying to be arrogant, but if I 

walked down the street and a girl saw 

me, she might take a look back because 

maybe I'm good-looking, right?"

"I want my world to be fun."

"Now that I'm on top, everyone wants

 to bring me down. Everyone's trying

to tug at me and take my spot."

"No one can stop me."

"I've got my eye on a few things to spend 

my money on. I've got my own bank card,

but I am really good with money. 

I don't spend too much at all."

"Young people in the business have grown up

and made the wrong decisions, or bad decisions,

and haven't been good role models. To be someone

that people look up to is important to me."

"My mind is always racing."

"Two people can look at the same 

thing and see it differently."

"I'm just a regular 16-year-old kid. I make

good grilled cheese and I like girls."

"If I can do just one tenth of the good Michael

Jackson did for others, I can really 

make a difference in this world."

"My world got very big, very fast,

and based on a lot of sad examples

from the past, a lot of people 

expect me to get lost in it."

"As hard as I've tried, I don't 

know how not to be adorable."

"So remember, this is Bieber's world.

You're just living in it. Bieber or die."

Interesting Quotes By Guys Named Richard

I know you won't believe me, but I was actually planning this post BEFORE Richard Sherman sounded off after that playoff game the other night. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Sherman's quote is the last one in this collection. Enjoy?  ~  JH

"If guys don't respect themselves, they don't respect

other people. That's times and personalities. And 

all of them are not that way. But it don't take

but one or two to screw up the whole world."

~  Richard Petty, NASCAR driver

"I'm now so keenly aware that I have 

everything to prove and nothing to lose."

~  Richard Marx, musician

"I always sensed instinctively from the 

earliest age that I was being lied to."

~  Richard Linklater, film director

"Indeed he knows not how to know

who knows not also how to un-know."

~  Richard Francis Burton, explorer

"Can miles truly separate you from friends…

If you want to be with someone you 

love, aren't you already there?"

~  Richard Bach, author

"All of our energy should be in sacrifice

and services. Suffering, at least."

~  Richard Gere, actor

"Greed has taken the whole universe,

and nobody is worried about their soul."

~  Little Richard, musician

"Imagination creates reality."

~  Richard Wagner, composer

"I don't like feeling bitter. Being bitter 

makes you immobile, and there's

too much that I still want to do."

~  Richard Pryor, comedian

"I really think that living is the process of going

from complete certainty to complete ignorance."

~  Richard Dreyfuss, actor

"You don't learn to walk by following rules.

You learn by doing, and by falling over."

~  Richard Branson, businessman

"I believe we need heroes. I believe we 

need certain people who we can 

measure our own shortcomings by."

~  Richard Attenborough, actor/director

"Don't pray when it rains if you

don't pray when the sun shines."

~  Richard M. Nixon, U.S. President

"I was born not knowing and have had only

a little time to change that here and there."

Richard Feynman, physicist

"I am always stimulated by people.

Almost never by ideas."

~  Richard Avedon, photographer

"Everyone in this world is somehow connected. 

So why not just be nice to everybody?"

~  Richard Simmons, fitness personality

"Always have an answer – even if you

change your mind five minutes later."

~  Richard E. Grant, actor

"At the risk of appearing disingenuous,

I don't really think of myself as 'writing

humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world

I observe, which is frequently hilarious."

~  Richard Russo, novelist

"Nothing is secret once you tell anyone. If 

you want to keep it quiet – don't tell a soul."

~  Richard Chamberlain, actor

"I'm the best corner in the game! When you try me 

with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's the

result you gonna get! Don't you ever talk about 

me! Don't you open your mouth about the best, 

or I'm'll shut it for you real quick! L.O.B.!"  

~  Richard Sherman, football player

5 Things I Love About Thursday

1.  It's not Monday.

2.  It's almost Friday.

3.  It's a day named after a hammer-slinging Norse god, which inherently boosts its street cred.

4.  In the fourth week of November, a massive consumption of turkey happens on this day.

5.  The Internet has started this strange phenomenon called Throwback Thursday, where people post old pictures of themselves. Like this one: 

I was gonna come up with 10 things to make this list a nice round number, but this is all I've got. What about you? Why do you love Thursday? Or conversely, why do you hate it?

A Literal Interpretation Of Lil Wayne's "6 Foot 7 Foot"

Much as I have done previously here, this is a literal interpretation of the lyrics of an otherwise foul-mouthed song by rapper Lil Wayne. All the objectionable words and phrases have been taken out and replaced with more innocuous words and phrases. Slang language has been translated into common English. The result is...well, kind of hilarious. I think so at least. Enjoy?  ~  JH

"6 Foot 7 Foot"

(feat. Cory Gunz)

[Hook]

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

[Lil Wayne - Verse 1]

Pardon my appeal

I would like a vodka with a spritzer.

My confidence is outstanding

You can call this rap "Patricia."

Army of youthful wealthy folk

I am the commissioner.

You do not wish to provoke me

Because "F" stands for "Finisher."

I am greatly misunderstood

But the world needs riddles.

I entertain two female dogs simultaneously

Like synchronized swimmers.

I have caused this woman to become confused.

Spin this woman around

And she will become more open-minded.

I have never met this woman

But I greet her exuberantly

As though I had not seen her in a long time.

Life is like a woman, and Death is like her sister.

Sleep is like their cousin.

This is a remarkable family photograph.

You are familiar with Father Time.

We are all familiar with Mother Nature.

Everything is familial, but I am not related.

It does not matter who is the purchaser.

I celebrate myself, with black and white diamonds.

I am not in favor of segregation.

Forget all of that, I have lots of money.

You African-Americans are like Honey Nut Cheerios.

Youthful wealthy folk are in control.

You African-Americans will take second place.

I do not feel as though I have accomplished enough

So I will continue to do what I am currently doing.

My nicknames are Lil Tunechi and Young Tunafish.

[Hook]

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

Six-foot, seven-foot, eight-foot cluster

[Lil Wayne - Verse 2]

I am going to continue now.

Alright, I became insane.

My brain is stranded somewhere out there.

I think you stand under me

If you don't understand me.

A woman named Tammy broke my heart.

But women will be women

So I did not blame Tammy for this.

I just telephoned my mother

And told her she was the sweetest person.

I assault the rhythm, but claim self-defense.

I assure you, these African-Americans

Are as transparent to me as sequins.

African-Americans see themselves as "He-Men."

Pow! Pow! It is finished.

I am my own consultant

Therefore I frequently converse with myself.

I am wedded to my wealth

Yet I have relations with the world.

This is adultery.

You are full of lies.

You shut your mouth

And allow your buttocks to speak.

Youthful wealthy folk are enjoying a meal.

All of you detractors simply add salt to it.

Stop goofing off, female dog.

I am in control of this game.

My mind is so sharp that I slip

And decapitate myself.

All day today and all of tomorrow

I am a genuine African-American.

But these people speak foolishly

As though they had fractured their jaws.

The glass is half empty, the glass is half full.

I will spill the contents of your glass.

If you attempt to test me

I will ram you into a wall

Like an outfielder in baseball.

You know that I am going to play basketball

Until they turn off the lights on the court.

I relish the fruits of my labor while they are still ripe.

Female dog, stop goofing off.

I rule like a king does.

If these African-Americans are animals

Then soon I will have a mink coat.

Tell those people that I said

To write my name on the wall.

I speak truthfully, but I suppose

To you it is like a foreign language.

I see things the way they really are

When I am wearing my glasses.

But most of you do not understand the photograph

Unless the flash was on when the picture was taken.

Nothing satisfies you, you only understand half of it.

Youthful wealthy folk.

Paper currency.

Constantly seeking wealth.

Please inform the money that I am in pursuit of it.

Female dog, real gangsters move stealthily like lasagna.

People deem me to be on the verge of insanity.

Almost, nearly.

I never sleep, therefore I am unable

To find the woman of my dreams.

You African-Americans are like gelatin

Like peanuts to an elephant.

I conquered that sentence like a subject and a predicate.

Yes, I possess confidence you would commit murder to have.

My wealth is so great that my pockets have to lift weights.

I leaped into a wishing well, so wish me well.

Tell the rest of them to smooch my buttocks.

We will call it kiss and tell.

[Cory Gunz – Verse 3]

Hello, Mother. I am out of my mind.

I do not want to understand what the fuss is all about.

I will take some Dramamine to settle my nerves.

Llamas scream more vehemently

Than the summer sun beats down on a queen of Ghana.

Now all I desire is to have hit songs

Wayne signed a contract with a dastardly person.

I took sides with you hypocritical African-Americans, you see?

Son of Gunz, Son of Sam, you African-Americans are my sons.

Pause while I make a ridiculous speech.

I glow like Buddha.

Bother me, and you will be all over these lyrics

Like Ludacris.

Female dog, I rap like a scuba diver.

Female dog, I am baldheaded like Cuba Gooding, Jr.

And I have a murderous woman

Who will plow right through you.

I will be flirting with women

And boasting about my wealth.

Now I am toting a gun

As though I worked for a moving company.

I shout to a tool for giving up

On behalf of my gun.

African-Americans think that they are as powerful as I am.

I simply laugh at their measuring stick.

Paper currency is brutal, female dog.

But our actions are far more brutal.

Wayne, these African-Americans are insane.

I have already informed these people numerous times

That I am constantly thinking about deer.

I tuck these things away.

I mess with your mind. Pause.

I feed them, as I work hard.

Did I gain any respect?

I continue to toss my sign into the center.

I confront them, while carrying my gun

Because I am not at peace, female dog.

I am a man, I visit urinals in other countries.

Tune instructed me to do so.

There is a funeral outside

But I continue to shoot at people.

I am a thoroughbred from uptown.

I am an African-American from The Bronx.

Do you understand me?

Gunner!

Interesting Quotes By Famous Torontonians

"The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow

because it was important to them:

there ought to be as many for love."

~  Margaret Atwood, author

"No matter what your choices are, you truly 

have no control about what people think of you."

~  Neve Campbell, actress

"I think I may have become an actor to hide 

from myself. You can escape into a character."

~  John Candy, actor

"Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos."

~  Douglas Coupland, author

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

~  Jim Carrey, actor

"When you're in the muck, you can only see muck.

If you somehow manage to float above it, you

still see the muck but you see it from a different

perspective. And you see other things too. 

That's the consolation of philosophy."

~  David Cronenberg, film director

"It's important for me to let my 

fans know I really don't care."

~  Drake, hip-hop artist

"If you keep bashing your head against 

the same wall, at some point you're going

to fall over and be still for awhile."

~  Feist, singer/songwriter

"Always have a sense of humor 

about life – you'll need it – 

but always be courteous to boot."

~  Peter Jennings, journalist

"A half truth, like half a brick, is

always more forcible as an argument 

than a whole one. It carries better."

~  Stephen Leacock, author

"People who annoy people are

the luckiest people in the world."

~  Howie Mandel, actor

"Sorrow is so easy to express

and yet so hard to tell."

~  Joni Mitchell, singer/songwriter

"With fame there is a crosswire

between intensity and intimacy.

You have decoy intimacy, but 

you are also very much alone."

~  Mike Myers, actor

"You may have a fresh start any

moment you choose, for this thing

that we call 'failure' is not the 

falling down, but the staying down."

~  Mary Pickford, actress

"You never appreciate anonymity

until you don't have it anymore."

~  Jason Priestley, actor

"Grief changes shape, but it never ends."

~  Keanu Reeves, actor

"No one is any one thing."

~  Martin Short, actor

"It's very important in life to know when to

shut up. You should not be afraid of silence."

~  Alex Trebek, TV personality

"You're never too fat for a new purse."

~  Nia Vardalos, actress

"The thing about my music is,

there really is no point."

~  Neil Young, singer/songwriter

Aha! I Bet You Thought I Was Abandoning This Blog, Didn't You?

Well, you were wrong! While it's true that I've started both a music blog and a humor blog in 2014, I'm not abandoning The Plural Of Hyena, my "core product" as they say in the biz. (What biz, you ask? I dunno exactly, but it sounded like the right thing to say.) No, this blog isn't going away, it's just going to be a little more focused than it ever was before.

I've posted a variety of things here in the past couple of years, such as my stories and poems, things I find fascinating, things that are going on in my personal life, and so forth. Well, none of those things are going away. I'm just taking the funny stuff and music posts that I come up with (or compile from various sources) on a regular basis and posting them on the other two blogs.

I'm still planning on writing plenty of new stories for your reading pleasure, though I probably won't set an unattainable goal of 200 new ones as I did last year (only having penned a hair over 70 of them throughout the year). I still don't know if you do or will enjoy them, but I'll keep trying to entertain you or provoke you to previously unthought thoughts (or something like that) through my writings.

One of these days, maybe this year, I'll actually get some of my stories into print, or at least into e-book form for the masses (yeah, right!) to read. That's the goal, at least.

I know I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about myself or my family on the blog anymore, but I'll try to do a better job of that this year. I'm not making any promises, other than the promise to try.

I have set some goals for myself this year, though they aren't necessarily writing goals.

I want to read more of the books I've always wanted to read and less of the books that I just stumble upon at the library or in the free section of the Kindle Store. I'm currently compiling a list of the "wanna read" books and I'll probably end up posting that here at some point soon.

I also want to lose some weight – a lot of it actually – and become a more active (read: less sedentary) person in general. My son's increased activity precipitates this goal, and makes it a more urgent need than ever before.

I want to draw closer to God than I've been in a long time. He didn't move – I did – and I've been complacent about the distance for far too long. That must change, and it will. Not by own willpower alone, but through the guidance of the Holy Spirit PLUS my efforts.

I was going to write something else here at the end, but I've now forgotten what it was. It was probably fairly important, too. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. Remember, this blog ain't going anywhere!

~ JH