Any of you who regularly read this blog will attest to the fact that I am avid lover of words. Words of all shapes, sizes, and even languages. As many words as I am familiar with and use regularly, there are thousands more that I've never heard of and never used. I'm always happy to come across a new word, learn its meaning, and then attempt to work it into general conversation or perhaps one of my writings.
The words that follow are certainly new and fun words, but I don't know if I'll ever use them in conversation or in print. Mainly because they're almost without exception unpronounceable and incredibly bulky. They are the ten most ridiculously long words I could find. Hope you'll enjoy learning about them as much as I did...
1) Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: This 45-letter beauty is believed to be the longest word listed in a major dictionary. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is a technical term used to describe "a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs." The word was invented in 1935 by Everett M. Smith, president of the National Puzzlers' League, at its annual meeting.
2) Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism: This 30-letter word describes an inherited disorder in which the individual has the phenotypic appearance of pseudohypoparathyroidism (24 letters) type 1a, but is biochemically normal. If you've ever heard of Albright hereditary osteodystrophy (I know I sure haven't), pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism is sometimes considered a variant of that. Did you get all that? Me neither! Moving on...
3) Antidisestablishmentarianism: I became familiar with this word when I was just a child, and was fascinated by its exceptional length. Couldn't have told you a thing about what it meant, though. Thanks to the wonderful World Wide Web, now I can. This 28-letter word is a term which refers to a political position originating in 19th-century Britain in opposition to proposals for the disestablishment of the Church of England – in other words, antidisestablishmentarians (26 letters) were not in favor of removing the Anglican Church's status as the state church of England, Ireland, and Wales. The Church's establishment was ultimately maintained in England, but in Ireland the Church of Ireland (Anglican) was disestablished in 1871. In Wales, four Church of England dioceses were disestablished in 1920, subsequently becoming the Church in Wales. The question of disestablishment of the Church of England is still current, often tied with the position of the English monarch as "Supreme Governor" of the Church.
4) Floccinaucinihilipilification: This 29-letter monstrosity is a word meaning "the act or habit of describing or regarding something as unimportant, of having no value, or being worthless." (One could make a floccinaucinihilipilification regarding this blog post, I suppose.) Have you ever seen that movie Master And Commander with Russell Crowe? I haven't, but apparently it's based on a book of the same title by Patrick O'Brian – a book which includes the following quote: "There is a systematic floccinaucinihilipilification of all other aspects of existence that angers me." Seeing as nobody talks like this in real life, I'm betting that Mr. O'Brian was just trying to impress the ladies with his mad wordsmith skills. And I'd bet money it didn't work, either.
5) Honorificabilitudinitatibus: This 27-word mouthful is taken directly from the Latin, and can be translated as "the state of being able to achieve honors." The word is mentioned by the character Costard in Act V, Scene I of William Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Lost. Honorificabilitudinitatibus is regarded as the longest word in the English language featuring alternating consonants and vowels. How cool is that?
6) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: This 34-letter nonsense word was invented as part of a song by the same name which originally appeared in the 1964 Disney musical Mary Poppins. If you've seen the movie more than once, the chorus of this song is probably playing on repeat in your head right now, just like it is in mine. Sorry about that. According to the film, the word is defined as "something to say when you have nothing to say." (Which, ironically, could also describe today's blog post.)
7) Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia: When you're looking for really long words, you can't go wrong with a good ol' phobia. This 29-letter word is used to describe the fear of the number "666", also called the Number of the Beast in Revelation 13:18 in the Bible. Notable hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs include Nancy and Ronald Reagan who, in 1979, when moving to the Bel-Air neighborhood of Los Angeles, had their new house's address changed from 666 St. Cloud Road to 668 St. Cloud Road. Also, the Dutch Christian organization Stichting Opwekking (translated Revival Foundation) skipped the number 666 when assembling their songbook "because of the sensitivity amongst people." My own grandmother once refused to pay a store clerk the $6.66 she owed them out of fear of the number. She paid them $6.67 instead and told them to keep the change.
8) Friggatriskaidekaphobia: Speaking of phobias, this 23-letter word is used to describe the fear of Friday the 13th. Apparently, superstition regarding this arbitrary day began as early as the 19th century (and not the 1980's with all those "Jason" movies). Many theories have been proposed about the origin of the superstition. However, most think the reason that Friday the 13th is considered a phobia-worthy event is due to an amalgamation of two older superstitions – that thirteen is an unlucky number (which goes all the way back to Biblical days) and that Friday is an unlucky day (which goes at least as far back as the 14th century, as it was mentioned in Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales).
9) Deinstitutionalization: This 22-letter word – probably not that uncommon especially when compared to others in this list – is a term used to describe the process of replacing long-stay psychiatric hospitals with less-isolated community mental health service for those diagnosed with a mental disorder or developmental disability. Okay, this one's boring. Moving on...
10) Sesquipedalianism: The shortest word in this bunch, nonetheless this 18-letter doozy describes a linguistic style that involves the use of long words. Which is basically why I picked it to add to this list. Sesquipedalianism might also be characterized as polysyllabic holophrastic verbalism – but I refuse to call it that. Because sesquipedalianism sounds way cooler. Various motivations drive the sesquipedalian, including: lexical precision (sure, why not?); to demonstrate the benefits of erudition (I know I've always benefited from erudition); and to disempower intellectual challenge (disempower to the people!). I don't know what most of that means – sounds like a load of codswallop to me. But that doesn't stop me from loving the word sesquipedalianism!
Maybe next time – if I think you're ready for them – I'll introduce you to some ridiculously-long-but-awesomely-named places, like Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg (in Webster, Massachusetts), or Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty-siliogogogoch (a village in Wales), or Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauota-mateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitnatahu (a hill in New Zealand), or maybe even Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein (a farm in South Africa). But for now, I'll just let you recuperate from these ten...
(Thank you, Wikipedia.org, for the bulk of the information regarding the history of these words.)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Flash Fiction: "Awkward Silence"
I know what you're thinking – not another fiction piece! This guy is getting to be a drag! Well, if that's true, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm a writer. I write. And lately new ideas are bouncing around in my head so fast that if I don't write them immediately they'll be gone forever. This short piece stemmed from a recent brainstorming session where my goal was to try and think of an interesting title for each letter of the alphabet. "Awkward Silence" was the first one I came up with. True crime shows (I've been watching lots of them lately) inspired the theme of the story. Oftentimes after a serious criminal is caught (especially a serial killer), friends and families will remark that the accused person had seemed so normal, so harmless, and that they can't believe he or she could possibly be guilty of whatever they're supposed to have done. In some cases, these guys (speaking generally, of course there are female criminals too) have wives and kids who never had a clue what their husband or father had been doing, sometimes for decades, without being discovered. When they do find out, the truth must be devastating. This is how I imagined one such revelation might occur...
AWKWARD SILENCE
You understand what I mean by this. It's that break in the conversation when you don't know what to say and the person you're talking with doesn't know what to say, and so you've reached an impasse.
You mentioned something in passing that made the other person uncomfortable, something that struck a nerve. Now the person has asked you a question you're not willing to answer; and while you ponder how best to respond or whether to deftly change the subject, there it is: that awkward silence.
You used to take pride in being a great conversationalist, but you've done things you're not proud of and now you're guarded. Your usually tactful approach to interpersonal communication has briefly fallen by the wayside in the wake of a single careless comment. You quickly revert to self-preservation mode.
Someone must speak eventually, and you'd like to be the one to break the silence, but not at the risk of exposing who you truly are. There would be consequences; there are always consequences. So you wait.
The other person sighs deeply, equally hesitant to proceed but unwilling to let the conversation die out entirely. You sense what comes next.
The person poses a new question, much more direct than the last. The truth will set you free – free from the burden of living a lie perhaps, but freedom is relative. Reputation is priceless, and if you answer you'll lose it in a second.
You think the best answer might be to ask another question, turn the tables, put the ball back in their court. Yet you know you won't get off that easy. This is it, the moment you've been dreading, when the sound of the other shoe dropping sets off an avalanche of shame.
There will be consequences. There could even be jail time. You thought no one would ever find out, but someone is about to learn the awful truth. One someone at least.
Then it hits you: the secret doesn't ever have to leave this room. It may be revealed, certainly, but the power to make sure it isn't propagated lies solely in your hands. You can quell the maelstrom before it even begins.
Though in so doing, you would be responsible for yet another crime, another life, one more secret. This one would be worse than before, because this person – she impatiently awaits your reply – is your soulmate. The one who should be able to trust you the most. The one whose confidence in you ought to be absolute.
But you broke that trust long ago, and though she doesn't know for certain, she clearly suspects it. Any and everything you ever did or didn't do is now called into question. She waits for an answer.
You look into her eyes – you've always loved her eyes, so blue, like the ocean – and realize what you aren't capable of doing. The truth spills out in fragments. Sentences are too difficult, as tears choke every word. You confess everything, from the beginning.
You love her too much to persist in deceiving her. She has a right to know, and to deal with the consequences, with or without you beside her. When you have said all there is to say, burying your face in your hands as though it helps, she rests her soft fingertips on your shoulder. You look up to see her smiling face, her head nodding in naive approval at the end of your long-withheld silence.
You tell her that everything will be fine, no matter what happens, and she nods once more. This will be your final lie, because you know that nothing will ever be fine again.
Perhaps she will start a new life, in a new place, as though she never knew you at all. Maybe she will change her name. Or maybe she will visit you every week without fail wherever you end up going. But you won't hold your breath for that to happen.
She parts her lips as if to speak, but hesitates. You try to think of something to say that's worth anything at all, but come up empty. And there it is again: that awkward silence.
The next word spoken seals your fate, and hers.
Go.
Go.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Flash Fiction: "She"
Often when I write a story, I have no idea ahead of time where it's headed. I'm not the kind of author who sees the beginning, middle, and end of a story before beginning the writing process. I simply start writing and see what happens. Sometimes nothing happens, and I am forced to scrap the piece. Sometimes the story takes an all-too-familiar turn, and I begin to doubt myself – is it too much like something that's already written (perhaps something I've even read), is it too predictable, is it too boring? Sometimes it is one of these things, and I have to willfully change the course of the story. And sometimes the piece takes an unexpected turn, often in a darker direction, and I am surprised by it. Such is the case with "She".
I don't always agree with the actions and choices of my characters, but I almost always find them interesting. This story involves a desperate young lady, facing a bleak future, who decides to end her own life. The only question in her mind is how to do it. This tragic story is not intended to glorify or endorse suicide in any way; but rather to make the reader think and feel and empathize. I won't say "Enjoy it!" because it's not enjoyable. It's sad. But I hope you'll read it anyway....
"SHE"
She dries her eyes with a Kleenex doused in lighter fluid or baby urine or some other undesirable, and ponders her choices.
The last time she tried she was only eleven years old. Her feeble attempt had ended in a broken arm and bruised pelvis, but was otherwise unsuccessful.
There are so many ways to die, not one better than another, and she must choose.
She could open up her veins and let out the bad things, along with all the blood, and pass slowly.
She could borrow a gun, cherish the taste, and let it explode inside her head.
She could take pills – that wouldn’t be so bad. She’s taken so many of them for the sickness all these years. It wouldn’t be as quick, but there also wouldn’t be much pain.
She wishes she could ask her friends what to do, but they are all gone now. The sickness has taken them all, one at a time, over far too short a span, and they can’t help her anymore. She wonders if any of them ever had the same thoughts, and is certain that they did.
She wishes there was another way; she doesn’t want to have to do it. But it’s probably too late. After all, she’s already infected her eyes with whatever disgusting fluid had soiled the Kleenex she’d picked up off the street. She might even be going blind at this moment.
If only her father were here, he would have an answer for her. Undoubtedly, he would say that she was doing the wrong thing, that she had too much to live for, that there were always options. But fathers are supposed to say these things, aren't they?
Her father must realize that every other potential solution has been exhausted long before this moment. If he were honest, she thinks, he would tell her to go through with it – and quickly. But her father is at home watching ESPN.
She thinks of her mother, that disgusting witch who bore her seventeen years earlier. She thinks of the many times she has walked in on her mother in the throes of passion with someone other than her father.
How many times upon being discovered her mother had not even bothered to cover her filthy body as she approached her daughter with a faux-maternal smile that seemed to say, It's okay, sweetie, Mommy's just having a little fun.
Maybe she will take pills. Surely there are over-the-counter painkillers that, when taken in large quantities, will effectively kill all the pain, along with the sickness.
She starts to cry again. She tells herself that these are hopeful tears, in anticipation of a better life beyond this one. But she knows that they are tears of bitterness and fear all wrapped up together.
She feels the knot in her stomach shift slightly as a wave of nausea passes over her again. She hates being sick all the time. She's too young to feel this ancient.
Children, even teenage children, aren't supposed to die this way. But she has been dying for a long time now. The sickness went away for a while, and she was well. But even then, she’d dreaded each new day, afraid that the pain would return, and with it the disease.
She knows that it will eventually take her anyway. But she's tired of waiting. She wants to hasten the inevitable. Fixing her jaw resolutely, she takes her first step toward forever. It’s a short walk to the 24-hour pharmacy, and she heads in that direction, seeking closure.
Monday, March 19, 2012
This Day In History
1279 – A Mongolian victory in the Battle of Yamen ends the Song Dynasty in China. Having lasted for 319 years to that point, the Song Dynasty was notable for being the first government in world history to issue paper money as currency. This dynasty also saw the first known use of gunpowder, as well as the first discernment of true north using a compass.
1649 – The House of Commons of England passes an act abolishing the House of Lords, declaring it "useless and dangerous to the people of England." Oliver Cromwell was pretty much ruling the roost at the time as Lord Protector of England. When the monarchy was restored twelve years later, the House of Lords assembled again and returned to its former position as the more powerful chamber of Parliament – a position it would occupy until the 19th century.
1687 – Explorer Robert Cavelier de La Salle, searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River, is murdered by his own men. La Salle also explored the Great Lakes region of the United States and Canada, as well as the Gulf of Mexico, claiming the entire Mississippi River basin for France. La Salle's final expedition was plagued by pirates, hostile Indians, and poor navigation. On this day in 1687, the 36 remaining men (out of the original 300) mutinied and La Salle was slain. Ironically, the remaining colonists were overtaken and promptly killed by Karankawa Indians the very next year.
1863 – The SS Georgiana, said to have been the most powerful Confederate cruiser, is destroyed on her maiden voyage with a cargo of munitions, medicines, and merchandise then valued at over $1,000,000. The wreck of the scuttled and burned Georgiana was discovered in 1965, ironically also on March 19th, and still lies in the shallow waters of the harbor in Charleston, South Carolina.
1865 – The Battle of Bentonville begins in Bentonville, North Carolina, near the town of Four Oaks. This Civil War battle lasted for two days until Confederate forces retreated. A month later, Confederate General Joseph E. Johnston would surrender to Union General William T. Sherman right around the same time that General Robert E. Lee surrendered to General Ulysses S. Grant, ending the war.
1895 РAuguste and Louis Lumi̩re record their first footage using their newly patented cinematograph. This early film camera also doubled as a film projector and developer. The film was called Sortie de l'usine Lumi̩re de Lyon and was first publicly screened at L'Eden, the world's first and oldest cin̩ma, located in La Ciotat in southeastern France.
1918 – The U.S. Congress establishes time zones and approves daylight saving time. Before that, I suppose, the current time was deemed to be exactly the same everywhere; and nobody never got to spring forward in the spring or fall back in the fall.
1931 – Gambling is legalized in Nevada. And the rest is history....
1932 – The Sydney Harbour Bridge is opened. This bridge, located in Sydney, Australia, is currently the world's widest long-span bridge, the fifth longest spanning-arch bridge in the world, and the tallest steel arch bridge in the world. Impressive!
1941 – The Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, is activated.
1954 – Joey Giardello knocks out Willie Tory in the seventh round at Madison Square Garden in the first televised prize boxing fight to be broadcast in color. Which basically means that viewers got to see blood in its actual color for the first time on television.
1958 – The Monarch Underwear Company fire in Manhattan leaves 24 dead, 15 injured, and countless others tragically underdressed. Okay, that was horrible, and I apologize. Moving on...
1966 – Texas Western becomes the first college basketball team to win the Final Four with an all-black starting lineup. I wonder how many racist basketball fans refused to put them in their winning brackets that year....
1978 – I was born. Big whoop.
1979 – The U.S. House of Representatives begins broadcasting its day-to-day business via the cable television network C-SPAN. I wonder if anyone has broken the news to the representatives yet – you know, that no one has ever watched a single hour of their day-to-day business because it's so boring it makes your eyes bleed.
1987 – Televangelist Jim Bakker resigns as head of the PTL Club due to a brewing sex scandal. Bakker hands over control to Jerry Falwell. Not the first time a "preacher" has fallen, making a laughingstock of himself and all Christians in the eyes of some, but definitely one of the most memorable in recent history.
2003 – President George W. Bush orders the start of war against Iraq. I'm not getting into the politics of this one – it's just not my thing. Obviously, some good things have come out of this decision (an evil man was taken out of power) and some bad things have happened as a result (many brave soldiers and some innocent people have perished).
BIRTHDAYS:
David Livingstone, Scottish missionary and explorer (1813)
Wyatt Earp, American marshal (1929)
William Jennings Bryan, American statesman (1860)
Irving Wallace, American novelist (1916)
Richie Ashburn, major league baseball player (1927)
Philip Roth, American author (1933)
Ursula Andress, Swiss actress (1936)
Sirhan Sirhan, assassin of Robert F. Kennedy (1944)
Glenn Close, American actress (1947)
Bruce Willis, American actor (1955)
Andy Reid, Philadelphia Eagles football coach (1958)
Hedo Turkoglu, Turkish-born NBA basketball player (1979)
Clayton Kershaw, Los Angeles Dodgers baseball player (1988)
All information courtesy of the good folks at Wikipedia.org.
1649 – The House of Commons of England passes an act abolishing the House of Lords, declaring it "useless and dangerous to the people of England." Oliver Cromwell was pretty much ruling the roost at the time as Lord Protector of England. When the monarchy was restored twelve years later, the House of Lords assembled again and returned to its former position as the more powerful chamber of Parliament – a position it would occupy until the 19th century.
1687 – Explorer Robert Cavelier de La Salle, searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River, is murdered by his own men. La Salle also explored the Great Lakes region of the United States and Canada, as well as the Gulf of Mexico, claiming the entire Mississippi River basin for France. La Salle's final expedition was plagued by pirates, hostile Indians, and poor navigation. On this day in 1687, the 36 remaining men (out of the original 300) mutinied and La Salle was slain. Ironically, the remaining colonists were overtaken and promptly killed by Karankawa Indians the very next year.
1863 – The SS Georgiana, said to have been the most powerful Confederate cruiser, is destroyed on her maiden voyage with a cargo of munitions, medicines, and merchandise then valued at over $1,000,000. The wreck of the scuttled and burned Georgiana was discovered in 1965, ironically also on March 19th, and still lies in the shallow waters of the harbor in Charleston, South Carolina.
1865 – The Battle of Bentonville begins in Bentonville, North Carolina, near the town of Four Oaks. This Civil War battle lasted for two days until Confederate forces retreated. A month later, Confederate General Joseph E. Johnston would surrender to Union General William T. Sherman right around the same time that General Robert E. Lee surrendered to General Ulysses S. Grant, ending the war.
1895 РAuguste and Louis Lumi̩re record their first footage using their newly patented cinematograph. This early film camera also doubled as a film projector and developer. The film was called Sortie de l'usine Lumi̩re de Lyon and was first publicly screened at L'Eden, the world's first and oldest cin̩ma, located in La Ciotat in southeastern France.
1918 – The U.S. Congress establishes time zones and approves daylight saving time. Before that, I suppose, the current time was deemed to be exactly the same everywhere; and nobody never got to spring forward in the spring or fall back in the fall.
1931 – Gambling is legalized in Nevada. And the rest is history....
1932 – The Sydney Harbour Bridge is opened. This bridge, located in Sydney, Australia, is currently the world's widest long-span bridge, the fifth longest spanning-arch bridge in the world, and the tallest steel arch bridge in the world. Impressive!
1941 – The Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, is activated.
1954 – Joey Giardello knocks out Willie Tory in the seventh round at Madison Square Garden in the first televised prize boxing fight to be broadcast in color. Which basically means that viewers got to see blood in its actual color for the first time on television.
1958 – The Monarch Underwear Company fire in Manhattan leaves 24 dead, 15 injured, and countless others tragically underdressed. Okay, that was horrible, and I apologize. Moving on...
1966 – Texas Western becomes the first college basketball team to win the Final Four with an all-black starting lineup. I wonder how many racist basketball fans refused to put them in their winning brackets that year....
1978 – I was born. Big whoop.
1979 – The U.S. House of Representatives begins broadcasting its day-to-day business via the cable television network C-SPAN. I wonder if anyone has broken the news to the representatives yet – you know, that no one has ever watched a single hour of their day-to-day business because it's so boring it makes your eyes bleed.
1987 – Televangelist Jim Bakker resigns as head of the PTL Club due to a brewing sex scandal. Bakker hands over control to Jerry Falwell. Not the first time a "preacher" has fallen, making a laughingstock of himself and all Christians in the eyes of some, but definitely one of the most memorable in recent history.
2003 – President George W. Bush orders the start of war against Iraq. I'm not getting into the politics of this one – it's just not my thing. Obviously, some good things have come out of this decision (an evil man was taken out of power) and some bad things have happened as a result (many brave soldiers and some innocent people have perished).
BIRTHDAYS:
David Livingstone, Scottish missionary and explorer (1813)
Wyatt Earp, American marshal (1929)
William Jennings Bryan, American statesman (1860)
Irving Wallace, American novelist (1916)
Richie Ashburn, major league baseball player (1927)
Philip Roth, American author (1933)
Ursula Andress, Swiss actress (1936)
Sirhan Sirhan, assassin of Robert F. Kennedy (1944)
Glenn Close, American actress (1947)
Bruce Willis, American actor (1955)
Andy Reid, Philadelphia Eagles football coach (1958)
Hedo Turkoglu, Turkish-born NBA basketball player (1979)
Clayton Kershaw, Los Angeles Dodgers baseball player (1988)
All information courtesy of the good folks at Wikipedia.org.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Poems For Your Perusal: Even More Alpha Poetry
As soon as you get back
Please give me a call
I need to hear your voice
I haven't cried lately.
Being weird
Is an art form
It doesn't happen
By accident
It doesn't happen
Suddenly
It is cultivated
Through years
And years of practice.
Could it be?
Am I actually happy?
I think I am
And it's all your fault.
Thank you.
Daily toils
And constant struggles
Thankfully
You've got my back.
Even I can see that
Some people should never be
Allowed to love each other.
It's bad for the universe.
Fill 'er up
I'll take all I can afford.
Better yet
Half a tank is quite enough
I don't want to seem greedy
Or go broke.
Good grief
Was there ever such a thing?
If so then
It exists in the ability
To move on
And move forward
Without ever forgetting.
How is it that
We ended up here
In a desert
When the map said
We were headed
For the stars.
I'm not here right now
Try me again later
I may return
If I miss what I've lost.
Join for free
We won't spam you.
Well, maybe just a little.
After all
We're not running
A charity here.
The best things in life
Have price tags.
Kind of like
We never left
But different
Because we did.
Long time coming
Easy going
Life is short.
May I have this dance?
I promise not
To step on your toes
More than twice
Per measure.
Not only that
But I can
Pat my head
Rub my belly
Hop on one leg
And say the alphabet
– backwards! –
While thinking of you.
What does that say
About us?
On my way to the store
On my way to the store
I realized I forgot
Why I was going
In the first place.
I know I need something
But I guess I just don't care.
Piece of cake, he says
Easy for him to say
He knows what he's doing
And I write poetry
Not exactly
Apples and oranges.
Quiet in the library
There are books
Dreaming of becoming
Made-for-TV movies
Waiting to be ruined
And you wouldn't want
To disturb their slumber.
Roundabout way
Of saying that
I think you're special
When all I have to do
Is say you're special.
Why do I have to
Make things complicated?
Stay a while
Kick your feet back
Pretend like you live here
We don't mind
But don't forget
You're a visitor.
Two days ago
I liked you
Then I realized
I don't know
Who you are
So I clicked again
And just like that
The relationship
Changed.
Up the creek
A sudden downpour
No oars in sight
Badly mended holes
Leaking faster now.
This is going to be
A really bad day!
Very, very much
Immensely
Intensely
Passionately
With all my heart
You fill in the rest.
Wait a minute
Or a lifetime.
Don't worry
I'm not going anywhere
Unless you are.
Xenophobic
Aren't you?
Just because they
Don't speak like you do
Don't look like you do
Don't hate like you do
Doesn't mean that
You're any better.
Yes, it's true
I did say that.
And I'm not sorry.
I was once
But I forgave myself.
Zero chance that I'll ever decide
That you are worth returning to.
I saw where things were headed
And I wasn't even in the picture.
Just because things have changed
Doesn't mean my mind has.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Things I Find Fascinating: Anteaters!
So, it's the weekend, and my creativity is pretty much shot for the week. Therefore, instead of writing something deep, insightful, or even funny today, I am going to inform you and hopefully entertain you with facts about anteaters, pictures of anteaters, and best of all, videos of anteaters. Keep reading if this interests you. But if you choose not to keep reading, you're missing out. 'Cuz anteaters are awesome! After seeing some of these videos, I officially want one -- maybe two. And so will you. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Nearly 100% of the text to follow is ripped directly from Wikipedia.org -- I didn't research it any farther than that. Any facts that are incorrect are not my fault. All pictures and videos also belong to the people who originally posted them. I don't claim to own anything here, nor am I profiting from using it in any way. Just getting that out of the way. Now, enjoy!
1) Some General Info About Anteaters. "Anteaters, also known as antbear, are the four mammal species of the suborder Vermilingua (meaning 'worm tongue'), commonly known for eating ants and termites." They are most closely related to the sloths, with which they compose the order Pilosa. The four species currently in existence include the Giant Anteater, the Silky Anteater, the Southern Tamandua (also known as the Collared Anteater), and the Northern Tamandua.
Anteaters are most easily identified by their elongated snout, a thin tongue which can be extended to a length greater than the length of the head, and a tube-shaped mouth completely devoid of teeth. Anteaters use their large, curved front claws to tear open ant and termite mounts, and also use them to defend themselves. Their long fur protects them attacks from the insects. All anteaters except the Giant Anteater have a prehensile tail.
Are you bored yet? Good, because I am too. Let's move on...
2) The Anteater As A Mascot. The University of California, Irvine has used the anteater as their mascot and team name since 1965, when three undergraduate students suggested it as part of a campus-wide mascot election. Supposedly, the three students (Pat Glasgow, Bob Ernst, and Schuyler Hadley Basset III, if you care) were disappointed with other mascots that had been proposed, including the roadrunner, unicorn, seahawk, and golden bison. The cartoon sketch which the three guys came up with for the anteater was inspired by the Anteater character from the Johnny Hart comic strip, "B.C." For some reason, UCI's water polo team was heavily in favor of selecting the anteater as the mascot and used their influence (water polo teams actually HAVE influence?) to sway the voting toward their favorite choice. The anteater prevailed, grabbing 56% of the vote, and just barely beating "none of the above" in the final tally. Since that time, the anteater has grown to become a beloved mascot among UCI enthusiasts, and is the inspiration for many of the school's athletic and campus spirit traditions.
3) Speaking Of The Anteater From B.C... The Anteater in Hart's classic comic strip (one of my favorites, by the way) is often seen eating ants with its sticky, elastic tongue, making a ZOT! sound in the process. Technically, Hart's version of the anteater was anatomically incorrect, possessing the long ears of an aardvark (with which anteaters are quite often mistaken) and the bushy tail of a Giant Anteater.
4) The Anteater As A Video Game. Way back in 1982, Tago Electronics released Anteater as a maze arcade game. In the game, the player controls an anteater that elongates its proboscis (nose) through maze-like anthills eating ants. The player can only eat ants with the tip of the anteater's proboscis. If an ant bites the anteater's proboscis at any other location, the player loses a life. Worms will not harm the anteater unless they are eaten head-first, in which case the player loses a life. Eating queen ants at the very bottom of the nest will temporarily clear all ants and worms from the screen. The object of the game is to eat all of the larvae before time runs out, clearing the screen. Each larva is worth 10 points. Each ant is worth 100 points, while eating a worm is worth 200 points and multiplies the score the player receives from eating ants by one time. Queen ants are worth 1,000 points.
5) The Anteater As An Internet Meme. For those of you who don't know what an "Internet meme" is, the term basically refers to a concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, largely through email, blogs, forums, image boards, social networking sites, instant messaging, and video streaming sites such as You Tube. If you've ever heard the phrase "going viral", that's basically the same thing. In recent months and even years, the anteater has become a popular Internet meme. It started about three years ago when a creatively vulgar person posted a photo of a defiant-looking anteater standing in an open field with its arms stretched wide, under which the caption read, "#@%& You, I'm An Anteater!" For obvious reasons, I won't spell out what it actually said, but it wasn't in fact #@%&, it was a "dirty word." Anyway, since then some far less vulgar folks have come up with similar photos that they've captioned which depict anteaters in amusing situations or simply have funny captions. I've compiled a few of the better ones here below...
6) Amusing You Tube Videos. Here are just a few among the many adorable videos featuring anteaters which can be found on You Tube and similar sites. I'm warning you -- after viewing these, you are going to want one. Or two...
DISCLAIMER: Nearly 100% of the text to follow is ripped directly from Wikipedia.org -- I didn't research it any farther than that. Any facts that are incorrect are not my fault. All pictures and videos also belong to the people who originally posted them. I don't claim to own anything here, nor am I profiting from using it in any way. Just getting that out of the way. Now, enjoy!
1) Some General Info About Anteaters. "Anteaters, also known as antbear, are the four mammal species of the suborder Vermilingua (meaning 'worm tongue'), commonly known for eating ants and termites." They are most closely related to the sloths, with which they compose the order Pilosa. The four species currently in existence include the Giant Anteater, the Silky Anteater, the Southern Tamandua (also known as the Collared Anteater), and the Northern Tamandua.
Anteaters are most easily identified by their elongated snout, a thin tongue which can be extended to a length greater than the length of the head, and a tube-shaped mouth completely devoid of teeth. Anteaters use their large, curved front claws to tear open ant and termite mounts, and also use them to defend themselves. Their long fur protects them attacks from the insects. All anteaters except the Giant Anteater have a prehensile tail.
Are you bored yet? Good, because I am too. Let's move on...
2) The Anteater As A Mascot. The University of California, Irvine has used the anteater as their mascot and team name since 1965, when three undergraduate students suggested it as part of a campus-wide mascot election. Supposedly, the three students (Pat Glasgow, Bob Ernst, and Schuyler Hadley Basset III, if you care) were disappointed with other mascots that had been proposed, including the roadrunner, unicorn, seahawk, and golden bison. The cartoon sketch which the three guys came up with for the anteater was inspired by the Anteater character from the Johnny Hart comic strip, "B.C." For some reason, UCI's water polo team was heavily in favor of selecting the anteater as the mascot and used their influence (water polo teams actually HAVE influence?) to sway the voting toward their favorite choice. The anteater prevailed, grabbing 56% of the vote, and just barely beating "none of the above" in the final tally. Since that time, the anteater has grown to become a beloved mascot among UCI enthusiasts, and is the inspiration for many of the school's athletic and campus spirit traditions.
3) Speaking Of The Anteater From B.C... The Anteater in Hart's classic comic strip (one of my favorites, by the way) is often seen eating ants with its sticky, elastic tongue, making a ZOT! sound in the process. Technically, Hart's version of the anteater was anatomically incorrect, possessing the long ears of an aardvark (with which anteaters are quite often mistaken) and the bushy tail of a Giant Anteater.
44) The Anteater As A Video Game. Way back in 1982, Tago Electronics released Anteater as a maze arcade game. In the game, the player controls an anteater that elongates its proboscis (nose) through maze-like anthills eating ants. The player can only eat ants with the tip of the anteater's proboscis. If an ant bites the anteater's proboscis at any other location, the player loses a life. Worms will not harm the anteater unless they are eaten head-first, in which case the player loses a life. Eating queen ants at the very bottom of the nest will temporarily clear all ants and worms from the screen. The object of the game is to eat all of the larvae before time runs out, clearing the screen. Each larva is worth 10 points. Each ant is worth 100 points, while eating a worm is worth 200 points and multiplies the score the player receives from eating ants by one time. Queen ants are worth 1,000 points.
5) The Anteater As An Internet Meme. For those of you who don't know what an "Internet meme" is, the term basically refers to a concept that spreads quickly from person to person via the Internet, largely through email, blogs, forums, image boards, social networking sites, instant messaging, and video streaming sites such as You Tube. If you've ever heard the phrase "going viral", that's basically the same thing. In recent months and even years, the anteater has become a popular Internet meme. It started about three years ago when a creatively vulgar person posted a photo of a defiant-looking anteater standing in an open field with its arms stretched wide, under which the caption read, "#@%& You, I'm An Anteater!" For obvious reasons, I won't spell out what it actually said, but it wasn't in fact #@%&, it was a "dirty word." Anyway, since then some far less vulgar folks have come up with similar photos that they've captioned which depict anteaters in amusing situations or simply have funny captions. I've compiled a few of the better ones here below...
6) Amusing You Tube Videos. Here are just a few among the many adorable videos featuring anteaters which can be found on You Tube and similar sites. I'm warning you -- after viewing these, you are going to want one. Or two...
Friday, March 16, 2012
What A Waste!
You've heard the saying a thousand times before. "Life is short. Don't waste it." In recent years, Christian author John Piper wrote a very popular book entitled "Don't Waste Your Life" (highly recommended, by the way). But what does it mean to really waste your life?
I think the phrase refers not to one thing in particular but to everything that we waste. In every area of our lives when we have something that could be useful – to ourselves and especially to others – and we neglect it, or refuse to use it, or let it decay from disuse, we are wasting it.
What exactly do we waste when we waste our lives? Here's what I came up with:
1) Time. This one's kinda obvious. It's been said that the entirety of our lives can be summed up in a dash. Look on any tombstone. There's a date of birth and a date of death. In between the two is a dash. That's your life. The numbers surrounding the dash are just the span of it. Whether there's a hundred years between the number on the left and the number on the right, or a hundred weeks, or perhaps only a hundred hours – what we do with our lives during "the dash" is what matters. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. We don't know exactly when we're going to die, unless we make it happen ourselves. (God forbid!) Live your life as it were going to end today – because it just might. Spend your time doing something that matters, not looking for something to do.
2) Talent. We all have a talent (or maybe a few of them) – whether it's crafting, singing, planning, serving, writing, teaching, building, or whatever. The question is, are we using these talents? If God has gifted you with the ability to do something well, and you're not doing it, you're wasting it. Maybe you don't feel like you're good enough to do it, or maybe you're simply selfish. Meanwhile, there's a need that's not being met or a role that's not being filled because you're unwilling to step out on faith and do what you know you can do. I speak from experience here, so don't think I'm simply pointing fingers. After all, I don't even know who's reading this right now.
3) Resources. Some of us live paycheck to paycheck – perhaps it's because our jobs don't pay that well, or maybe we spend more than we make on foolish things. Some of us have been blessed with greater wealth – whether it's because of well-paying jobs, inheritances, or wise investments. Whichever category you fit into, you are nonetheless very, very rich when compared to the majority of people living in the world. Use your financial resources for things that matter – furthering the kingdom of God, helping those in desperate need, etc. Don't waste them on superficial things that you don't have and you don't need and that won't last. Again, I'm speaking to myself here.
4) Opportunities. We encounter people and situations on an everyday basis that lend us the opportunity to do something helpful. How often do we take advantage of those opportunities? Whether it's lending a helping hand to someone who's unable to help themselves, or sharing our faith with someone who's lost, or simply showing someone that you care about them when they desperately need someone to care about them. Let's not waste these precious opportunities.
5) Words. Whomever came up with that dumb phrase "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" was a fool. Words hurt a lot. Whether you're saying something foolish that is in no way helpful, or whether you're using your words to cut someone down or intentionally cause them pain, words are very powerful. Don't waste your words saying things that tear people down – build them up with your words. Don't say things that don't need to be said just for the sake of hearing your own voice – you're the only one who's amused. Trust me on this one. I've said a lot of stupid things, and some of them were very hurtful, even to people I love dearly. Those words are wasted. I can't take them back, and I don't get a second chance to choose better ones. Neither do you.
6) Energy. Along with time, energy is one of the easiest things to waste – but one of the best things to use, if you're expending it on something that matters. Case in point: I'm the drama director at my church, and we're currently preparing for our Easter production. I don't get paid for my efforts, and neither do the actors or any of the crew. (That's not a complaint, by the way.) And yet we spend several hours a week on Sunday and Wednesday nights rehearsing the play, time after time after time. This past Wednesday we endured a two-hours-plus marathon practice, and afterwards we were all exhausted. We were willing to spend all that time and energy because we know that our efforts are being put toward something that matters. The play is evangelistic in nature – perhaps people will come to see it who don't currently have a relationship with Christ. Maybe, through seeing the play and listening to the choir songs, they will come to a saving knowledge of Christ. We hope they do. If they do, then all our efforts will have been worth it. If no one's lives are changed by it, that's okay too. Because our lives have been changed through the experience. Either way, our efforts are not in vain. We've exhausted ourselves for a purpose. We haven't wasted our energy on pointless things.
7) Relationships. This might be the saddest waste of all – because yet again I've been there. There have been people in my life whom I counted as close friends at one time, who are no longer a vital part of my life. In some cases it was because I neglected our friendship, or maybe I hurt them (intentionally or unintentionally), or I simply stop putting forth any effort at maintaining the relationship. There are relatives who also fit this category, for the same sad reasons. Perhaps you've been there too. Maybe you wasted words you can't take back and the relationship was irrevocably broken. Maybe you wasted time on yourself and your interests and neglected your friend or relative's needs and concerns. Perhaps you wasted opportunities to reconnect with them – they were trying, but you were unwilling or simply apathetic. Maybe the relationship you've wasted was with the one person to whom you were the closest, a spouse or possibly a parent. If at all possible, do whatever it takes to restore your relationship with them. If an apology is in order, apologize. If forgiveness is required, forgive. If effort is required, put forth effort. Don't waste your relationships – they're too precious to lose! Oh, and by the way, if one of your relationships happens to be with God, and it's not in great shape either, you'll probably want to work on mending that one first of all. If you don't yet have a relationship with God, talk to someone you know who does. They'll be happy to introduce you to Him....
I think the phrase refers not to one thing in particular but to everything that we waste. In every area of our lives when we have something that could be useful – to ourselves and especially to others – and we neglect it, or refuse to use it, or let it decay from disuse, we are wasting it.
What exactly do we waste when we waste our lives? Here's what I came up with:
1) Time. This one's kinda obvious. It's been said that the entirety of our lives can be summed up in a dash. Look on any tombstone. There's a date of birth and a date of death. In between the two is a dash. That's your life. The numbers surrounding the dash are just the span of it. Whether there's a hundred years between the number on the left and the number on the right, or a hundred weeks, or perhaps only a hundred hours – what we do with our lives during "the dash" is what matters. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. We don't know exactly when we're going to die, unless we make it happen ourselves. (God forbid!) Live your life as it were going to end today – because it just might. Spend your time doing something that matters, not looking for something to do.
2) Talent. We all have a talent (or maybe a few of them) – whether it's crafting, singing, planning, serving, writing, teaching, building, or whatever. The question is, are we using these talents? If God has gifted you with the ability to do something well, and you're not doing it, you're wasting it. Maybe you don't feel like you're good enough to do it, or maybe you're simply selfish. Meanwhile, there's a need that's not being met or a role that's not being filled because you're unwilling to step out on faith and do what you know you can do. I speak from experience here, so don't think I'm simply pointing fingers. After all, I don't even know who's reading this right now.
3) Resources. Some of us live paycheck to paycheck – perhaps it's because our jobs don't pay that well, or maybe we spend more than we make on foolish things. Some of us have been blessed with greater wealth – whether it's because of well-paying jobs, inheritances, or wise investments. Whichever category you fit into, you are nonetheless very, very rich when compared to the majority of people living in the world. Use your financial resources for things that matter – furthering the kingdom of God, helping those in desperate need, etc. Don't waste them on superficial things that you don't have and you don't need and that won't last. Again, I'm speaking to myself here.
4) Opportunities. We encounter people and situations on an everyday basis that lend us the opportunity to do something helpful. How often do we take advantage of those opportunities? Whether it's lending a helping hand to someone who's unable to help themselves, or sharing our faith with someone who's lost, or simply showing someone that you care about them when they desperately need someone to care about them. Let's not waste these precious opportunities.
5) Words. Whomever came up with that dumb phrase "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" was a fool. Words hurt a lot. Whether you're saying something foolish that is in no way helpful, or whether you're using your words to cut someone down or intentionally cause them pain, words are very powerful. Don't waste your words saying things that tear people down – build them up with your words. Don't say things that don't need to be said just for the sake of hearing your own voice – you're the only one who's amused. Trust me on this one. I've said a lot of stupid things, and some of them were very hurtful, even to people I love dearly. Those words are wasted. I can't take them back, and I don't get a second chance to choose better ones. Neither do you.
6) Energy. Along with time, energy is one of the easiest things to waste – but one of the best things to use, if you're expending it on something that matters. Case in point: I'm the drama director at my church, and we're currently preparing for our Easter production. I don't get paid for my efforts, and neither do the actors or any of the crew. (That's not a complaint, by the way.) And yet we spend several hours a week on Sunday and Wednesday nights rehearsing the play, time after time after time. This past Wednesday we endured a two-hours-plus marathon practice, and afterwards we were all exhausted. We were willing to spend all that time and energy because we know that our efforts are being put toward something that matters. The play is evangelistic in nature – perhaps people will come to see it who don't currently have a relationship with Christ. Maybe, through seeing the play and listening to the choir songs, they will come to a saving knowledge of Christ. We hope they do. If they do, then all our efforts will have been worth it. If no one's lives are changed by it, that's okay too. Because our lives have been changed through the experience. Either way, our efforts are not in vain. We've exhausted ourselves for a purpose. We haven't wasted our energy on pointless things.
7) Relationships. This might be the saddest waste of all – because yet again I've been there. There have been people in my life whom I counted as close friends at one time, who are no longer a vital part of my life. In some cases it was because I neglected our friendship, or maybe I hurt them (intentionally or unintentionally), or I simply stop putting forth any effort at maintaining the relationship. There are relatives who also fit this category, for the same sad reasons. Perhaps you've been there too. Maybe you wasted words you can't take back and the relationship was irrevocably broken. Maybe you wasted time on yourself and your interests and neglected your friend or relative's needs and concerns. Perhaps you wasted opportunities to reconnect with them – they were trying, but you were unwilling or simply apathetic. Maybe the relationship you've wasted was with the one person to whom you were the closest, a spouse or possibly a parent. If at all possible, do whatever it takes to restore your relationship with them. If an apology is in order, apologize. If forgiveness is required, forgive. If effort is required, put forth effort. Don't waste your relationships – they're too precious to lose! Oh, and by the way, if one of your relationships happens to be with God, and it's not in great shape either, you'll probably want to work on mending that one first of all. If you don't yet have a relationship with God, talk to someone you know who does. They'll be happy to introduce you to Him....
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