Aha! I Bet You Thought I Was Abandoning This Blog, Didn't You?

Well, you were wrong! While it's true that I've started both a music blog and a humor blog in 2014, I'm not abandoning The Plural Of Hyena, my "core product" as they say in the biz. (What biz, you ask? I dunno exactly, but it sounded like the right thing to say.) No, this blog isn't going away, it's just going to be a little more focused than it ever was before.

I've posted a variety of things here in the past couple of years, such as my stories and poems, things I find fascinating, things that are going on in my personal life, and so forth. Well, none of those things are going away. I'm just taking the funny stuff and music posts that I come up with (or compile from various sources) on a regular basis and posting them on the other two blogs.

I'm still planning on writing plenty of new stories for your reading pleasure, though I probably won't set an unattainable goal of 200 new ones as I did last year (only having penned a hair over 70 of them throughout the year). I still don't know if you do or will enjoy them, but I'll keep trying to entertain you or provoke you to previously unthought thoughts (or something like that) through my writings.

One of these days, maybe this year, I'll actually get some of my stories into print, or at least into e-book form for the masses (yeah, right!) to read. That's the goal, at least.

I know I don't spend a whole lot of time talking about myself or my family on the blog anymore, but I'll try to do a better job of that this year. I'm not making any promises, other than the promise to try.

I have set some goals for myself this year, though they aren't necessarily writing goals.

I want to read more of the books I've always wanted to read and less of the books that I just stumble upon at the library or in the free section of the Kindle Store. I'm currently compiling a list of the "wanna read" books and I'll probably end up posting that here at some point soon.

I also want to lose some weight – a lot of it actually – and become a more active (read: less sedentary) person in general. My son's increased activity precipitates this goal, and makes it a more urgent need than ever before.

I want to draw closer to God than I've been in a long time. He didn't move – I did – and I've been complacent about the distance for far too long. That must change, and it will. Not by own willpower alone, but through the guidance of the Holy Spirit PLUS my efforts.

I was going to write something else here at the end, but I've now forgotten what it was. It was probably fairly important, too. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. Remember, this blog ain't going anywhere!

~ JH

"Strong" & "Weak" Songs

You didn't really believe all those empty promises I made about trying to cut back on – and yes, even stop – doing "Opposites" music posts, did you? If so, you should have known better. Or else you weren't paying good attention. I'm obsessed! Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Sanctus Real  ~  "Strong Enough To Save"

2)  Skunk Anansie  ~  "Weak"

3)  Saxon  ~  "Strong Arm Of The Law"

4)  SWV  ~  "Weak"

5)  Travis Tritt  ~  "Strong Enough To Be Your Man"

6)  Belinda Carlisle  ~  "I Get Weak"

7)  Cyndi Lauper  ~  "I'm Gonna Be Strong"

8)  Melanie C.  ~  "Weak"

9)  Kutless  ~  "Strong Tower"

10)  Cock Robin  ~  "When Your Heart Is Weak"

11)  LeAnn Rimes  ~  "Strong"

12)  Konshens  ~  "Weak"

13)  Will Hoge  ~  "Strong"

14)  Britny Fox  ~  "Save The Weak"

15)  Rick Astley  ~  "It Would Take A Strong, Strong Man"

16)  Serena Ryder  ~  "Weak In The Knees"

17)  Apocalyptica ft. Doub Robb  ~  "Not Strong Enough"

18)  Aaron Leatherdale  ~  "The Weak Ones"

19)  Matthew Sweet  ~  "Strong Enough"

20)  So Kind Stacy  ~  "Too Weak"

The Biggest Hits Of 2013 That Never Made The Blog...Until Now

As frequent (or even casual) readers of this blog can attest, I have done a heckuva lot of music posts this year. Maybe I'm just on a music kick (okay, definitely I am) or maybe I just don't have much time to compile many other kinds of posts (that's true, too). Throughout the course of the year, I've posted a fair number of current hit songs – that's both coincidental and by design – but I did miss a few big ones here and there. Having thought of no better way to include the songs before year's end, I've gathered them all together here for your listening (and viewing) pleasure. Enjoy!   ~  JH

1)  AWOLNATION  ~  "Sail"  (Yes, technically, I did post an a cappella cover of this song a couple weeks ago, but in my book that doesn't count.)

2)  Katy Perry  ~  "Unconditionally"  (She has her faults, topically and lyrically speaking, but I have to give Katy Perry props for crafting some really good pop songs.)

3)  Maroon 5  ~  "Love Somebody"  (I've heard this song I don't know how many times, but I'd never seen the video till now – it's weird. Good song, though!)

4)  P!nk  ~  "Try"  (P!nk never ceases to amaze me – she's consistently awesome!)

5)  The Band Perry  ~  "DONE."  (Good song by a good modern country band – but I really wish those brothers would get new hairdos – Ughsville!)

6)  Lady Gaga  ~  "Applause"  (Somewhat questionable video, but a catchy song – annoyingly so!)

7)  One Direction  ~  "Story Of My Life"  (I must grudgingly admit that this is a surprisingly good song!)

8)  Taylor Swift  ~  "I Knew You Were Trouble"  (I know I should be embarrassed to admit it, but I really like [and own most of] Taylor Swift's music – this song is no exception!)

9)  Baauer  ~  "Harlem Shake"  (Don't worry, there's no booty shaking in this video – it's audio only.)

10)  Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton  ~  "Can't Hold Us"  (I wish this guy didn't pepper the majority of his songs – this one mostly excluded – with foul language, because if so I would probably buy and listen to his music. Oh, well...)

11)  Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams  ~  "Get Lucky"  (It's an undeniably good tune, but I can't in good conscience recommend the lyrics. Big hit, though.)

12)  Eminem ft. Rihanna  ~  "The Monster"  (Sorry, music purists, I couldn't post the official music video for this one. It contained a couple of un-family-friendly words that weren't bleeped, and I prefer to keep it PG here.)

13)  Lady Antebellum  ~  "Downtown"  (This one's obviously meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and that's a good thing. 'Cuz if not…)

14)  Carrie Underwood  ~  "Two Black Cadillacs"  (A darker song for Carrie, but no less enjoyable than her cheerier hits. Sorry that Sound Of Music Live! thing didn't work out so well for you, chica…)

15)  Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX  ~  "I Love It"  (Again with this song, I couldn't post the original music video because of some uncensored lyrics, but the clean version is just as good – no, better! – to me, even if it's not actually a video.)

Video wouldn't load properly – click link to view:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TETp3OFNa3U

BONUS TRACK:  Ylvis  ~  "The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)"  (Would you believe I never even heard this song till last week? I didn't say "heard of" – I first heard of it a few months ago, but had somehow managed to avoid it till recently. I'm sorry it took me so long to experience it, because the song is hilarious – not epic, but hilarious – as it was obviously intended to be.)

Heavy Metal Christmas Songs

This one goes out to all my metalhead friends. (Or should I say "fiends"?) Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and \m/ !!!  ~  JH

1)  Dez Fafara ft. Doug Aldrich, Blasko, & John Tempesta  ~  "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

2)  Ronnie James Dio ft. Tony Iommi  ~  "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

3)  Alice Cooper ft. Orianthi, Tommy Henriksen, Steve Hunter, Chuck Garric, & Glen Sobel  ~  "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Video wouldn't load properly – click link to view:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhO9XybAS2Q

4)  Iron Maiden  ~  "Another Rock And Roll Christmas"

5)  Pellek  ~  "The 12 Days Of Christmas"

6)  Guns N' Roses  ~  "White Christmas"

7)  August Burns Red  ~  "Jingle Bells"

8)  Twisted Sister  ~  "Silver Bells"

9)  ICON  ~  "Little Drummer Boy"

Video wouldn't load properly – click link to view:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaAHT_4OCJY

10)  Joe Satriani  ~  "Silent Night, Holy Night"

11)  Steve Morse  ~  "Joy To The World"

12)  DOKKEN  ~  "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

13)  Lemmy Kilmister ft. Billy F. Gibbons & Dave Grohl  ~  "Run Rudolph Run"

14)  Oni Logan ft. Tony Franklin, John Tempesta, & Craig Goldy  ~  "Deck The Halls"

15)  Orion's Reign  ~  "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Weird Quotes About Beans And Rice

While we're on a "Weird" theme here, why not some weird food quotes too? Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  "I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."  ~  Mitch Hedberg, comedian

2)  "Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans and brains on the ceiling."  ~  Wavy Gravy, activist

3)  "The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything! Everyone should wear jeans and have three t-shirts, and eat rice and beans."  ~  Bill Hicks, comedian

4)  "There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans."  ~  Marcelene Cox, writer

5)  "Me, sexy? I'm just plain ol' beans and rice."  ~  Pam Grier, actress

6)  "Being in a band didn't buy me my beans on toast!"  ~  Alex Kapranos, musician

7)  "Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."  ~  Mitch Hedberg, comedian

8)  "When my hoe tinkled against the stones, that music echoed to the woods and the sky, and was an accompaniment to my labor which yielded an instant and immeasurable crop. It was no longer beans that I hoed, nor I that hoed beans; and I remembered with as much pity as pride, my acquaintances who had gone to the city to attend the oratorios."  ~  Henry David Thoreau, writer

9)  "I am a bad, wicked man, but I am practicing moral self-purification; I don't eat meat anymore, I now eat rice cutlets."  ~  Vladimir Lenin, politician

10)  "Talk doesn't cook rice."  ~  Chinese Proverb

A Baker's Dozen Of "Weird Al" Parody Songs

Okay, so obviously the theme of the day is "Weird." Being a writer of several parody songs myself (maybe I'll share them here someday), I've always been a fan of "Weird Al" Yankovic. Not only are his songs spot-on at satirizing pop culture, they're also extremely well-done, technically speaking. With their numerous visual jokes, the music videos are so much better than just listening to the songs themselves. Here are 13 of "Weird Al"'s all-time best... Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  "Smells Like Nirvana"  (parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana)

2)  "Gump"  (parody of "Lump" by The Presidents of the United States of America)

3)  "Amish Paradise"  (parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio ft. L.V.)

4)  "Fat"  (parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson)

5)  "White & Nerdy"  (parody of "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone)

6)  "Headline News"  (parody of "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies)

7)  "Perform This Way"  (parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga)

8)  "Like A Surgeon"  (parody of "Like A Virgin" by Madonna)

9)  "I Love Rocky Road"  (parody of "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts)

10)  "Eat It"  (parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson)

11)  "Another Tattoo"  (parody of "Nothin' On You" by B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars)

12)  "Whatever You Like"  (parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.)

13)  "Party In The C.I.A."  (parody of "Party In The U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus)