Friday, July 27, 2012

Things I Find Fascinating: 12 Little-Known Facts About First Ladies Of The United States


1)  Ten of the First Ladies were never married to a U.S. President.  The title "First Lady of the United States" is conveyed upon the White House hostess. Typically, that person is the wife of the President. However, in some instances, the President's wife has died prior to his election or during his tenure as President, has been unmarried, or has had a sickly wife who was unable to perform the functions and duties of First Lady. The 10 women who have  served as a nontraditional First Lady include: Thomas Jefferson's daughter, Martha Jefferson Randolph; Andrew Jackson's niece, Emily Donelson; Andrew Jackson's daughter-in-law, Sarah Yorke Jackson; Martin Van Buren's daughter-in-law, Angelica Singleton Van Buren; John Tyler's daughter-in-law, Priscilla Cooper Tyler; James Buchanan's niece, Harriet Lane; Chester A. Arthur's sister, Mary Arthur McElroy; Grover Cleveland's sister, Rose Cleveland; Benjamin Harrison's daughter, Mary Harrison McKee; and Woodrow Wilson's daughter, Margaret Woodrow Wilson.

Angelica Singleton Van Buren


2)  Martha Custis Washington is the only woman whose portrait has appeared on the face of a U.S. currency note.  She appeared on the face of the $1 Silver Certificate of 1886 and 1891, as well as on the back of the $1 Silver Certificate of 1896. Incidentally, Mrs. Washington was also the first American woman to be honored on a U.S. stamp, the 8¢ stamp in 1902.

Martha Washington's $1 Silver Certificate



3)  Abigail Adams, wife of John Adams, was a distant cousin of King George III, who was king of England during the American Revolution.  I'll bet things were really awkward at Christmastime for a few years there!

Abigail Adams



4)  Anna Harrison, wife of William Henry Harrison, bore the most children of any First Lady of the United States who was married to a President.  Anna and her husband had 10 children: Betsy, John Cleves, Lucy, William Henry Jr., John Scott, Benjamin, Mary, Carter, Anna, and James. Martha Jefferson Randolph (Thomas Jefferson's daughter who also served as First Lady) bore 12 children. Another interesting fact about Anna Harrison: When her husband was sworn in as President, she was too ill to travel to Washington, D.C. for the inauguration. A month later, as Anna was packing her things for her move to the White House, she received word that her husband had died. She is the only First Lady in history (since it was completed) to have never stepped foot in the White House.

Anna Harrison



5)  Rose Cleveland was the first First Lady known to be a lesbian.  Four years after she had stopped serving as her brother Grover's First Lady (he got married while in office), Rose began a lesbian relationship with a wealthy widow, Evangeline Simpson. Later, Simpson married an Episcopal bishop, ending her affair with Cleveland. However, after Evangeline's husband died, she and Rose rekindled their relationship and eventually moved to Italy to live together there. Rumors abound about possible lesbian relationships that Eleanor Roosevelt may or may not have had, but these rumors are as yet unfounded. Incidentally, though we have never had an openly gay President thus far, persistent rumors about James Buchanan still fester some century and a half after his Presidency. Buchanan was the only U.S. President who never married.

Rose Cleveland



6)  Letitia Tyler, wife of John Tyler, was the first President's wife to die in the White House.  She had suffered a paralytic stroke three years earlier which left her an invalid. At the time of her death, Letitia was 51 years old, making her the youngest First Lady to die.

Letitia Tyler



7)  Abigail Fillmore died less than a month after her husband, Millard, left office.  At the outdoor inaugural ceremonies of Franklin Pierce, Aibgail caught cold and the next day came down with a fever. She developed pneumonia and died just 26 days after leaving the White House.

Abigail Fillmore



8)  Jane Pierce never had any interest in becoming the First Lady, because she never wanted her husband Franklin to pursue the job in the first place.  When their beloved son Benny was killed in a train accident just two months before Pierce was sworn in as President, Jane believed it was because God was displeased at her husband's political ambitions. Thoroughly melancholy to the core, Jane Pierce wore all black throughout her husband's Presidency.

Jane Pierce



9)  Long before Jackie Kennedy, Harriet Lane became a trendsetter while serving as First Lady during her uncle (James Buchanan)'s Presidency.  Women copied her hair and clothing styles, parents named their daughters after her, and a popular song ("Listen To The Mockingbird") was dedicated to her.

Harriet Lane



10)  Michelle Obama is tied with Eleanor Roosevelt as the tallest First Lady at 5 feet, 11 inches.


Michelle Obama
Eleanor Roosevelt



11)  Former First Lady Mary Todd Lincoln was committed to an asylum by her son, Robert.  It's understandable, really. Mary had suffered the losses of three of her four sons before they'd reached age 18; she'd witnessed her husband shot and killed before her very eyes; she'd sustained a head injury in a carriage accident during her time as First Lady; she was frequently depressed, occasionally suicidal, and probably bipolar as well. Mrs. Lincoln engineered her escape from the asylum three months later by publicly embarrassing her son into having her released.

Mary Todd Lincoln



12)  There were very few things that First Lady Lou Hoover could not – or did not – do during her lifetime.  She was the first woman to ever graduate from Stanford University with a degree in Geology. She was a fine horsewoman. She was a skilled taxidermist. She was fluent in Chinese (and is the only First Lady to date to have spoken an Asian language), and was well-versed in Latin. She was the first First Lady to make regular radio broadcasts. She was president of the Girl Scouts of the USA from 1922 to 1925 and 1935 to 1937. During World War I, she helped her husband Herbert in providing relief for Belgian refugees. She also oversaw the design and construction of the Presidential retreat at Rapidan Camp in Virginia. She could not, however, find a way to prevent the Great Depression. Neither could her husband.

Lou Henry Hoover

Thursday, July 26, 2012

10 Great Things About Being A Walrus



1)  Your 'stache will never go out of style.  And even if it does, who's going to tell you to get rid of it?





2)  You get to live on the beach (albeit an icy one) without having to pay exorbitant property taxes.


3)  If you live in a zoo, people will pay money to come and look at you.  Which pretty much makes you a rock star!


4)  You weigh as much as a midsize car – nobody is going to mess with you!  Even Chuck Norris is even afraid of you.




5)  You have flippers, and you know how to use them.  (Yes, this is a real picture!)




6)  Your name means "horse whale" – now that's hardcore!  Your Latin name (Odobenus rosmarus) means "tooth-walking sea cow." Need I say more?




7)  You have the biggest fanboys ever!  The Beatles mentioned you in not one, not two, but three different songs, the most prominent one being "I Am The Walrus." (Although, apparently, "the walrus was Paul.")




8)  You can hold your breath underwater for up to 30 minutes.  Which is long enough for your enemies to think you've drowned, at which point they'll give up and leave in frustration.




9)  You can bellow and snort whenever you feel like it, with or without a reason, and sometimes just to be annoying.




10)  You really know how to party with your bros!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Really Rude Things I Might Think About Saying To People (...But Never Actually Would)

1)  (MEN)  You should really consider growing some facial hair.  That "baby face" look only works for so long. Time to man up!




2)  (WOMEN)  You should really consider waxing some of that facial hair.  The 'stache has long been out of fashion for men, and has never been a stylish look for ladies. Handle that!




3)  Did you always talk in that annoyingly flamboyant, ambiguously accented effeminate voice, or did you "put it on" when you came out of the closet?




4)  You smell horrible! Have you bathed this month?




5)  Were you dropped on your face as a child?  'Cuz...wow!




6)  I am completely disinterested in everything you're saying right now.




7)  Are you really that stupid, or are you just trying to get attention?




8)  Tell the truth: You  have no clue what you're doing, do you?




9)  You're not fooling anyone. We all know that's a toupee!  And not a very good one, at that.




10)  Yes, you definitely look your age.  And then some!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

An On-Again, Off-Again Country Music Fan's 20 Favorites

For most of my life, I have gone back and forth between being a die-hard country music fan to a casual country fan to a country music hater. I'm wishy-washy by nature anyway, but on this matter I have wavered more than usual. Here lately, I've been listening to some of the newer popular country music, but still only occasionally. Which got me thinking, what are some of my...  A) favorite country music songs all-time?  B) favorite country music artists/bands of all time?  and C) which do I like better, classic old-school country music or the country/pop hybrid that's so prevalent today? In predictable wishy-washy fashion, my answer to that last question is "a little of both." In answer to the first two questions, I present this list. Some of the songs below are among my favorite all-time country songs. Some of the artists/bands are my favorites, but the songs I've picked are not. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which. It doesn't really matter either way. Here goes...
1)  Keith Whitley ~ "When You Say Nothing At All"  Keith's was a voice that country music lost too soon. This song is his legacy, and it's still amazing twenty-some years later.




2)  Sara Evans ~ "Born To Fly"  You can't help but admire the plucky optimism of Sara Evans. Well, at least I can't.




3)  Willie Nelson ~ "Always On My Mind"  Politics and weird behavior aside, Willie's one of the best there ever was.




4)  Sherrié Austin ~ "Lucky In Love"  I think I'm the only person who had this girl's album, but I still remember most of the songs off it after a decade and a half.




5)  Johnny Cash ~ "Rusty Cage"  Who can take a hard-rock song (originally written and recorded by Soundgarden) and make it his own? Johnny Cash, that's who.




6)  Taylor Swift ~ "Speak Now"  I know, I know...I'm not a teenage girl, so I shouldn't like this poppy drivel. But I do. I can't help it. The kid cracks me up, and she can carry a tune to boot.




7)  Kenny Rogers ~ "The Gambler"  The movie's better than the video, but the song's still a classic. You gotta know when...




8)  Lady Antebellum ~ "Just A Kiss"  Play. Repeat. Play. Repeat. I've got this group on loop on my iTunes as we speak.




9)  Ronnie Milsap ~ "Any Day Now"  This guy was a favorite of mine and my parents growing up. We even saw him in concert a few times. These days, nobody seems to even remember who he is, though he was quite popular in his day. This video's really lame, but the song's good.




10)  Martina McBride ~ "A Broken Wing"  Man, can she sing! Get it, girl! (Okay, that wasn't very manly of me. Um...go, Pirates! Or something...)




11)  Shania Twain ~ "From This Moment On"  Overly commercial? Yeah. Overly poppy? Yeah. Good music? Yeah.




12)  George Strait ~ "Amarillo By Morning"  This guy has had so many good songs, it's hard to pick just one.




13)  Alison Krauss ~ "When You Say Nothing At All"  Yes, I know this is a repeat. There's a reason for that, though. Nobody can sing this song like Keith Whitley. No man at least. Alison, on the other hand – well, she's in a league of her own. It's got a completely different vibe than Whitley's original, but Krauss's version is equally as beautiful.




14)  Edens Edge ~ "Too Good To Be True"  New-wave country pop at its finest. You can keep your Sugarland. I'll take this group any day.




15)  Alabama ~ "Song Of The South"  Sweet potato pie, and a-shut my mouth! 'Nuff said.




16)  Little Big Town ~ "Little White Church"  I absolutely love a group that can harmonize really well. This group absolutely can. Really well.




17)  Charley Pride ~ "Kiss An Angel Good Morning"  One of the few African Americans to achieve great success in country music, Charley Pride has always been one of my favorites.




18)  The Judds ~ "Love Can Build A Bridge"  Remember what I said before about a group that can harmonize really well? Yeah? Well, it still applies. I loved, loved, loved The Judds back in the day! (P.S. I don't really think you need "cute little 3-D glasses" to enjoy this video/mini-movie.)




19)  Lindi Ortega ~ "Little Lie"  A little bit country, a little bit alternative, a lot of awesome. Mix well and enjoy!




20)  George Jones ~ "He Stopped Loving Her Today"  One of the saddest yet most hauntingly beautiful songs you'll ever hear. (Or hear again, if you already know it.)

Monday, July 23, 2012

Weird But True Animal Quotes (With Unnecessary Pictures)


1)  "You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."  ~  Frank Zappa



2)  "There's always the hyena of morality at the garden gate, and the real wolf at the end of the street."  ~  D. H. Lawrence



3)  "As long as we have zebras in our midst, I shall be content."  ~  Atlo Dogong



4)  "When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run."  ~  Abraham Lincoln



5)  "I feel akin to the platypus. An orphan in a family. A swimmer, a recluse. Part bird, part fish, part lizard."  ~  Trevor Dunn



6)  "A writer may tell me that he thinks man will ultimately become an ostrich. I cannot properly contradict him."  ~  Thomas Malthus



7)  "More fun than a barrel of monkeys? Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?"  ~  Tom Shales



8)  "When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all."  ~  Roger Zelazny



9)  "I hate having long hair. It's like walking around with a dead koala on your back!"  ~  Russell Crowe



10)  "I love pandas, they're so chill. They are all like, 'Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, AND Asian!'"  ~  Author Unknown



11)  "I am an unpopular electric eel in a pool of catfish."  ~  Edith Sitwell



12)  "If you start throwing hedgehogs under me, I shall throw a couple of porcupines under you."  ~  Nikita Kruschchev



13)  "It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry."  ~  Joe Moore



14)  "Time's fun when you're having flies."  ~  Kermit The Frog



15)  "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."  ~  Author Unknown

Sunday, July 22, 2012

A 4-Day Vacation Summed Up In 1,400 Words

We just got back from vacationing in the mountains with Mary's sister Ruth and her hubby Kevin. Thought I'd give you a quick summary of where we went and what we did. But just in case you don't give a rip, I'm keeping it fairly short. Like, 1,400 words short. Here goes nothing...


THURSDAY -- We drove to Asheville from Durham (where Ru and Kevin live) -- Mary and I had spent Wednesday night in a hotel. The girls had made an appointment to get a facial in Asheville at 2:30 that day, which left us just over an hour to grab a bite to eat once we got into downtown Asheville. Traffic there -- both pedestrians and automobiles -- is CRAZY! We decided to eat at a place called Barley's Taproom & Brewery. Their lunch special -- 2 slices of pizza, soda included, for $5.25 -- seemed really good. We also thought it would be pretty fast. After all, pizza is the special, we ordered pizza, it only makes sense. Turns it out, it wasn't fast at all. A few dozen dirty looks toward the kitchen and/or our waitress later and our food finally arrived. Turns out, it was worth the wait. It was truly tremendous pizza. We ate fast so the girls wouldn't miss their facial appointment (which was several miles away), and arrived just in time. Us boys didn't plan to wait for the girls at the salon, so we hit the road, exploring downtown Asheville and the River Arts District. We saw the river (French Broad) and crossed it four times, twice going and twice coming back. An hour later, we went back and picked up the girls and we all enjoyed ice cream and/or milkshakes on our way to the cabin. Our cabin, sort of a house, sort of a log cabin, was located in Chimney Rock, a good 30 to 40 minutes south of Asheville. Kevin expertly drove us through switchback after exciting switchback on our way to the middle of nowhere (or so we thought), and we arrived safe and sound (after briefly getting stuck in the steep gravel driveway) at the cabin. It was nice. A fully functional kitchen (or so we thought), two sizable bedrooms, a living room with a flat-screen TV (sadly, with only the basic cable channels -- no ESPN), and a lovely front porch. We needed groceries for the next few days, so while the girls chilled out and started to unpack, Kevin and I headed to the "nearest" full grocery store, which ended up being almost six miles away in Lake Lure. On our way there, we passed through the town of Chimney Rock and then Lake Lure, where we were surprised to find not only a plethora of "touristy" shops, but also a good number of interesting-looking restaurants of all shapes, sizes, and styles. Then there was the lake itself -- a big, beautiful, sprawling man-made wonder in the middle of soaring, majestic mountains. It  had its own beach with lifeguards and everything. Incredible! We finally found the grocery store -- an Ingles -- and stocked up on the necessities (mostly food, drinks, and snacks). While Kevin and I were in the grocery store, the sky opened up and a torrential downpour commanded our (and everyone else's) attention. Fortunately, it had slacked off to a drizzle by the time we got out of the grocery store. We made ourselves some supper, nothing elaborate, and settled in for the night.


FRIDAY -- Biltmore day. Wednesday had been Ru's birthday, and she'd never been to Biltmore -- so we went. We had breakfast at the ridiculously elaborate McDonald's across the street from the entrance, then proceeded to the Biltmore. We toured the house first, which for Mary and I was the third (maybe fourth?) time seeing it, and Ru and Kevin's first. We lunched at the Stable Cafe, which -- if you've never been there -- is a big horse stable that was converted into a restaurant. The food was decent, but grossly overpriced, as are most things there. Then we toured the gardens for as long as our tiring legs could stand it before heading back to the car. That night we dined at the Bayfront Grill, overlooking Lake Lure. It was a million-dollar view, and pretty darn good food.


SATURDAY -- Mary cooked breakfast that morning. We'd bought bacon and pancake mix, and a squirt-bottle of fake butter. Unbeknownst to us, the only pan in the cabin was not a non-stick pan, and the fake butter we'd bought contained no fat. Uh-oh. Mary's first attempt at making a pancake without any fat resulted in -- understandably -- a gloppy mess. We scoured the cabinets for anything usable that might have been left behind by previous renters or by the cabin's owner. The only thing we found -- but couldn't use -- was a bottle of canola oil that was several years out of date. That's a no go. Finally, being the scientist that she is, Mary got the idea to try and cook the pancakes with bacon fat. She'd already had the bacon in the oven, and it had fully cooked. Little by little, drop by drop, she did just that. The pancakes cooked in bacon fat -- of which there were many -- were delicious! (And so was the bacon, incidentally.) We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon checking out the souvenir shops in Chimney Rock, as well as an antique store or two. We lunched at the Riverwatch Deli where Kevin and I both had Western North Carolina-style barbecue pulled pork sandwiches. They're tomato-sauce-and-mustard-based, unlike the vinegar-based barbecue we're used to in eastern North Carolina. Though it was different from what I'm used to, it was still good. After we'd all had our fill of shopping (Kevin and I well before Mary and Ru, I might add), we headed down the road a bit to Lake Lure, where we took a one-hour scenic boat tour of the massive lake. It was beautiful, and quite fascinating to hear the history of the lake. For you '80s fans out there, we saw the area of the lake where part of the movie Dirty Dancing was filmed. Many of the houses on or just above the rim of the lake are humongous and incredibly lavish. Many of them are multimillion dollar houses. Heck, even a lot out there is probably over a million dollars. The weather was perfect and the breeze when the boat went faster was delightful. After the boat tour, we headed back to Chimney Rock for ice cream, then back to the cabin to chill out for a bit. Later, we headed back out to the town of Lake Lure, where we intended to eat at another restaurant overlooking the lake, La Strada. Upon passing it a few times before, Kevin and I had thought it was a Mexican restaurant. When we suggested it as our Saturday night dinner location, the girls readily agreed. It wasn't until we sat down and opened the menu that we realized -- oh, it's not Mexican at all, it's Italian. That was okay, we figured, though we'd had our mouths set on chips and salsa, among other Mexican delicacies. We ended up ordering breadsticks, which can be run-of-the-mill at most places. These, however, were the best breadsticks ever. I mean that, too. Ever. We gorged ourselves on breadsticks until the meal came. Turns out the pasta that three of us had -- and the pizza that the other one had -- was also the best we'd had of any meal since arriving in the mountains. We were pleasantly surprised to have been wrong about the type of restaurant we'd gone to, as it turned out to be quite amazing. Later that night, Kevin and Ru made a fire in the fire pit out front, and Ru and Mary made and ate S'mores. Kevin and I didn't really feel like them, but the girls said they were tasty.


SUNDAY -- (That would be today.) We packed up our stuff, tidied up the cabin, and hit the road, heading home. Seven hours later (well, only five for Kevin and Ru), we were home. Tired, but refreshed at the same time. It was a good vacation.

Do I REALLY have to go back to work tomorrow?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

"You Never Know," "Duking It Out," And "Despair": Three More Unusual Drabbles


More 100-word short stories from me to you. These are a bit darker than my usual pieces, but I still like them anyway. I hope you will too...



"YOU NEVER KNOW"

"Daddy, why do you keep a pack of matches in your pocket if you don't smoke?" The father glanced  at his little boy, smiled vaguely, and replied, "Because you never know, son." The boy looked understandably confused. "You never know what, Daddy?" Sighing softly, the father sank to his knees, and looked his son in the eyes. "Because you never know when you might have to set somebody on fire, son." The boy's eyes grew wide, tears forming at the corners, and his jaw dropped. "But why would you do that, Daddy?" the boy asked. "It's complicated," replied the father.



"DUKING IT OUT"

It would never work. Two power-hungry people both vying for the same promotion, working in the same office, day in and day out. Someone would end up dead at worst, or crippled at least. The world-weary supervisor knew he had to separate them. Violence is often the answer, he mused, but not in my department! He knew if he could just get them in the ring, then they could fight it out like men. A duel to the death, last man standing, no holds barred. But how could he ever convince them to fight? Gotta love office politics.



"DESPAIR"

I needed to scream, but couldn't make a sound. I opened my mouth, willing myself to cry out, but all I heard was silence. It was at that moment that I realized I couldn't move my arms or my legs. I needed to run, to get away, but I was stuck in this spot. The horrific images racing before my eyes compelled me to look away. But my neck was immobile, just like the rest of me. I felt hot tears beginning to trickle from my burning eyes. At least some part of me was working. Then everything went black.