1) "I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did not reflect positively on my father's life." ~ Sidney Poitier
2) "Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children." ~ Bill Cosby
3) "Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows." ~ Al Unser
4) "I'm a father; that's what matters most. Nothing matters more." ~ Gordon Brown
5) "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." ~ Sigmund Freud
6) "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." ~ Bill Cosby
7) "When I was a boy, I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?" ~ Sam Levenson
8) "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person – he believed in me." ~ Jim Valvano
9) "He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care." ~ William Penn
10) "It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father." ~ Pope John XXIII
11) "I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in fifty years what my father taught me by example in one week." ~ Mario Cuomo
12) "Be able to confide your innermost secrets to your mother and your innermost fears to your father." ~ Marilyn vos Savant
13) "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." ~ Bill Cosby
14) "I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much." ~ Hedy Lamarr
15) "I would say my greatest achievement in life right now – and I'm still trying to achieve it – is to be a wonderful father to my kids." ~ Bo Jackson
16) "Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other." ~ Joseph Joubert
17) "To me, having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father." ~ Nick Lachey
18) "It never entered my father's mind nor my mind ever to do a job other than at one's best ability." ~ Lord Mountbatten
19) "My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own childhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children." ~ Bill Cosby
20) "[My father] didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." ~ Clarence Budington Kelland
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
"Blown To Smithereens," "Eucalyptus Johnston," And "I Won A Cow": Three Drabbles
One of my favorite writers, Stephen King, has a "pet name" for his faithful fans: "Constant Reader." If you bothered to click on this link to read these drabbles (my fiction posts never rank among my most popular ones, statistically speaking), THANK YOU VERY MUCH! You are one of my "constant readers," and for you – as well as for myself – I will keep on writing fiction whenever the inspiration strikes me, whether it's widely read or not. Hope you'll enjoy reading these 100-word short-shorts... ~ JPH
"BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS"
I didn't hear the bomb go off. I wake up, groggy and more than a little hungry, and find myself here – wherever "here" is. I stumble to my feet and take a few hesitant steps down a dirt path that looks like it could have been a well-traveled road in the not-so-distant past. There are no trees around. No grass either. Just barren, rocky soil. There's a sign up ahead. It welcomes me. But to where? It's finally within view now. "Welcome To Smithereens – The End Of The Line." Great! Just as I feared. I am dead.
"EUCALYPTUS JOHNSTON"
Eucalyptus Johnston is one of those people you hate to run into at the supermarket. It always starts off innocently enough. She says, "Hey! How’re you doing?" And you reply, "Good. How’re you?" Then Eucalyptus begins – in agonizing detail – to relay exactly how she’s doing, not just today, but how she’s been doing for the past six months, and also how well (or how poorly) she expects to be doing in the immediate future. Well, I saw Eucalyptus Johnston yesterday, and, boy, I got her goat! She said, "Hey! How're you?" I said, "None of your business!" And walked away.
"I WON A COW"
Got a phone call this morning. Said I’d won a contest. I asked, "Which one?" (I’m currently entered in 46 separate contests.) Apparently I’d won the grand prize in the American Dairy Farmers’ Association’s raffle. I remembered entering but couldn’t recollect what the prize was. I asked. Fella said, "A cow." I said, "A what?" He said, "A genuine moo cow." I said, "What am I gonna do with a moo cow? I live on the third floor!" Fella said, "Not my problem. The cow is yours." I gotta pick Betsie up tomorrow. Mind if I borrow your cattle trailer?
Friday, June 15, 2012
Things I Find Fascinating: 10 Things Everyone Should Know About Iceland
1) Iceland has been continuously inhabited for over 1,100 years. According to Landnámabók (a medieval Icelandic text which, translated, means “The Book of Settlements”), the settlement of Iceland began in AD 874 when the chieftain Ingólfur Arnarson became the first permanent Norse settler on the island. Others had visited the island earlier and stayed over the winter, but ultimately decided to live somewhere else.
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Ingólfur Arnarson
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2) Until the 20th century, Iceland relied largely on fisheries and agriculture, and was one of the poorest and least developed countries in the world. By the 1990s, it had become one of the world's wealthiest countries, thanks to its industrialization of the fisheries and aid from the Marshall Plan following World War II.
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Commercial fishing boat off the coast of Iceland
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3) Iceland has no standing army. From 1951 to 2006, Iceland had a unique agreement with the United States that required us to provide defense to Iceland when needed. However, even though the Iceland Defense Force agreement has now been terminated and the American military base there has closed, the United States is still responsible for defending its ally should a "surged expeditionary presence" be deemed necessary.
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NAS Keflavik, former U.S. navy base in Iceland
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4) Sveinn Björnsson was the first President of the Republic of Iceland, leading his country from its first days as an autonomous nation in 1944 till his death in 1952. Björnsson had previously served as the Icelandic minister to Denmark (on two separate occasions) and Regent of Iceland three times (during World War II). A true Renaissance man, Björnsson was also one of the founders of Eimskipafélag Íslands (Iceland's main shipping company), Brunabótafélag Íslands (a prominent Icelandic insurance company), Sjóvátryggingafélag Íslands (another insurance company), and the Icelandic Red Cross.
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| Sveinn Björnsson |
5) The Icelandic island of Grímsey – just north of the main island – has long been notorious for its highly skilled chess players. So much so that American scholar and keen chess player Willard Fiske sent the people of Grímsey a number of chess sets and funded the building of a library on the island (though Fiske never visited Grímsey personally).
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| Grandmaster Henrik Danielsen of Iceland |
6) Iceland is the world's 18th largest island. At 39,315 square miles, Iceland is larger than Ireland, Hispaniola (the island that comprises Haiti and the Dominican Republic), Tasmania, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, and Sicily, to name a few.
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| Iceland from outer space |
7) There are no native or free living reptiles or amphibians in Iceland. So, if you're scared of snakes or frogs or other similar slithering beasties, this is the place to be! There are also relatively few species of insects living in Iceland. A few polar bears occasionally visit the island, but no Icelandic polar bear populations currently exist. Bats visit sometimes, too, but aren't able to breed in Iceland. The Arctic Fox is the only land mammal native to the island, having already made a home in Iceland when the first humans arrived.
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| Arctic Fox (I want to hug it sooo bad!!!) |
8) The beginning of the end of the Cold War took place in Iceland. Even today, some twenty-five-plus years later, Icelanders remain especially proud of their role in hosting the historic 1986 Reagan–Gorbachev Summit in the capital city of Reykjavík, which set the stage for the end of the Cold War.
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| Ronald Reagan (left); Mikhail Gorbachev (right) |
9) Two things here: First, the über-eclectic folk-pop-electronica-rock singer/songwriter Björk hails from Iceland. Secondly, the Icelandic language sounds intoxicatingly beautiful when spoken (or sung) by a native. Here's a video that showcases both of these. (Björk switches to English about halfway through it, but you will get the idea from the first half.)
10) Iceland is breathtakingly gorgeous to behold. If I should ever suddenly disappear from the face of the earth, Iceland is where you should look for me first. In all seriousness, I would love to visit the country at some point during my lifetime; and if I don't, I shall be sorely disappointed. Here are just a few glimpses of the deceptively named Iceland:
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Is It Bad That...?
Is It Bad That...
...I use my debit card for everything (because I never carry cash), including when I go to the Dollar Tree and only buy one thing?
...I find it funny when my wife (who doesn't even like baseball) starts crying tears of joy after seeing a 20-second highlight of a perfect game thrown by a San Francisco Giants pitcher last night?
...I'm considering not voting at all in this year's presidential election because I don't care for either the Democrat incumbent or his Republican competitor?
...I work like a hermit, holed up in my office all day with the door shut, my music blasting in my earbuds, and never speak to any of my coworkers unless I have to?
...I'd much rather listen to a Taylor Swift CD than a Beethoven symphony?
...I enjoy making "to-do" lists but hate to do most of the things on the list?
...my penmanship – which used to be quite good – has declined in recent years, now that I do almost all of my "writing" on a computer?
...I've always wanted to visit Iceland, but I've never really wanted to visit Paris?
...I have to pay a plumber to tighten the bolts on my toilet so it won't leak, because I lack the proper tools, skills, or even basic understanding of plumbing to handle the job myself?
...I had originally intended to do 10 of these questions, and this one is technically # 10 but shouldn't count because it's not really a question, but I don't feel like taking the time to come up with another actual question?
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Personal Reflections On Dead Celebrities: 2012 Edition (January To June)
1) Etta James: An accomplished singer who transitioned smoothly between blues, jazz, R&B, rock-and-roll, soul, and gospel, Etta James – whose real name, interestingly enough was Jamesetta Hawkins – was probably best known for her classic song "At Last." My sister-in-law (well, she is now) sang this song as the recessional at our wedding. And she brought down the house, let me tell ya! James won six Grammys and 17 Blues Music Awards throughout her career. She was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1993, the Blues Hall of Fame in 2001, and the Grammy Hall of Fame in both 1999 and 2008 (once was not enough!). Hers was a uniquely wonderful voice, and it will be greatly missed. James was 73 years old.
2) Joe Paterno was the head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions for longer than I have been alive – for 46 years, in fact from 1966 through 2011. I was peripherally familiar with Paterno, but was fairly indifferent toward him as a person or as a coach, never having been a fan of Penn State or any of its rivals. Throughout most of his career, Paterno was recognized as one of the best coaches in all of college football, and his record of success backed up that reputation. In the last few months of his life, he lost his job and his health declined, both in part due to the scandal that had arisen regarding Paterno's former assistant coach and his alleged sexual misconduct involving young boys. Paterno was dismissed from his position when it was determined that he had knowledge of the crime but failed to report it to the university or to the proper authorities. The case against Paterno's former coach is ongoing, but Paterno is not. He died at the age of 85 of complications from lung cancer.
3) John Rich was a long-time director of both films and television shows (but primarily the latter). I have seen his name many times in the credits (yes, I actually read those!) for episodes of some of my favorite classic TV series, including The Dick Van Dyke Show, All In The Family, The Jeffersons, Newhart, and Benson. He also directed episodes of shows which are not among my favorites, including Mister Ed, Maude, Good Times, Barney Miller, The Brady Bunch, and Gilligan's Island. For you Elvis fans out there, he also directed the King in the feature films Roustabout and Easy Come, Easy Go. Rich won an Emmy for his work on The Dick Van Dyke Show as well as two Emmys, two Golden Globes, and an N.A.A.C.P. Image Award for All In The Family. John Rich was 86 years old.
4) Whitney Houston was – and still remains – the greatest singer of my generation. Unfortunately, as talented as she was on the mic, she was twice as troubled away from it. Houston struggled for many years with drug addiction and endured a volatile relationship with longtime husband and fellow musician Bobby Brown. Whitney made several comeback attempts over the year, but she never seemed to be able to get out of her own way in order to move past and conquer her issues. Houston died from an "accidental drowning" (according to the coroner's report), most likely due in part to a combination of heart disease (from years of drug abuse) and her recent use of both cocaine and marijuana. Houston was 48 years old.
5) Gratia Schimmelpenninck van der Oye was a Dutch alpine skier. Schimmelpenninck van der Oye competed at the 1936 Winter Olympics in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, finishing 14th in the alpine combined event. Despite her two falls, this remains the highest-ranking in Olympic skiing ever reached by a Dutch national. After retiring, Schimmelpenninck van der Oye became the first female member of the board of the International Ski Federation. Schimmelpenninck van der Oye was 99 years old. (And yes, I picked her to be on this list due to her ridiculously long name, not because she was one of the more well-known people who died this year.)
6) Gary Carter was a Major League Baseball catcher who spent the majority of his 21-year career playing for the Montreal Expos and the New York Mets. An 11-time All Star, Carter was known for both his excellent defense behind the plate as well as his power-hitting prowess. Carter was inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 2003. He died at the age of 57 from brain cancer.
7) Davy Jones was a singer and musician best known for his time spent with the music group The Monkees. Having worked at a seafood restaurant for four years during college which played only the oldies station nonstop, I became quite familiar with some of The Monkees' bigger hits, including "Last Train To Clarksville," "I'm A Believer," and "Daydream Believer." I could probably still sing most of the words to all of those songs even today. Oh yeah, and like most everybody else my age and older, I remember the episode of The Brady Bunch where Marcia tries to get Davy Jones to come and perform at her school dance and he actually shows up. Jones was 66 years old.
8) Junior Seau (pronounced SAY-ou) was an NFL linebacker and longtime member of the San Diego Chargers. Seau was a 10-time All-Pro, a 12-time Pro Bowl selection, and was named to the NFL 1990s All-Decade Team. Back when I first started watching football on TV, Seau was The Man. No offensive player, no matter how great they were, looked forward to facing him. Seau managed to last 20 seasons in the NFL, longer than most players due to the intense physical strain that the game puts on players. However, his longevity may have also led to Seau's early demise. Having suffered from multiple undiagnosed concussions throughout his career, Seau suffered from severe depression in the years after his retirement from the game. Tragically, Seau died at age 43 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
9) Donna Summer: There are way too many classic singers on this list this year. Summer was arguably the Queen of Disco, admittedly never one of my favorite styles of music. But her voice was undeniably good, and the popularity of her hits, including "Hot Stuff" and "She Works Hard For The Money" also can't be denied. Interestingly enough, when I heard that Summer had died, I thought, "Well, the 'I Will Survive' Lady didn't end up surviving after all." I later realized that the "'I Will Survive' Lady" was Gloria Gaynor (who's still alive) and not Summer. Goes to show how much I know about disco! Summer was 63 years old.
10) Ray Bradbury: One of my favorite books growing up – not surprisingly a bleak dystopian novel – was Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Most kids read this book because they have to – it's often assigned to be read as part of high school English classes (or is it Language Arts now?). I read it because I just wanted to. Go figure! Of course, it's a wonderful book, as is everything I've read by Bradbury – which admittedly, isn't as many books as it should be, considering the volume of this prolific author's work. Bradbury excelled at both science fiction, fantasy, horror, and mystery fiction – which are the main genres I most enjoy reading. He was one of the greatest modern American writers, and he will be greatly missed by his many fans, of which I am one. Bradbury was 91 years old.
Unfortunately, this list has to be capped off with a big TO BE CONTINUED..., as famous people will continue to die, whether we want them to or not. For that matter, a lot of non-famous people will also die over the coming months, whether we want them to or not. But since I have neither the time nor the energy to cover every death of consequence, I'll stick with the notable people with whom I was the most familiar.
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| Etta James |
2) Joe Paterno was the head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions for longer than I have been alive – for 46 years, in fact from 1966 through 2011. I was peripherally familiar with Paterno, but was fairly indifferent toward him as a person or as a coach, never having been a fan of Penn State or any of its rivals. Throughout most of his career, Paterno was recognized as one of the best coaches in all of college football, and his record of success backed up that reputation. In the last few months of his life, he lost his job and his health declined, both in part due to the scandal that had arisen regarding Paterno's former assistant coach and his alleged sexual misconduct involving young boys. Paterno was dismissed from his position when it was determined that he had knowledge of the crime but failed to report it to the university or to the proper authorities. The case against Paterno's former coach is ongoing, but Paterno is not. He died at the age of 85 of complications from lung cancer.
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| Joe Paterno |
3) John Rich was a long-time director of both films and television shows (but primarily the latter). I have seen his name many times in the credits (yes, I actually read those!) for episodes of some of my favorite classic TV series, including The Dick Van Dyke Show, All In The Family, The Jeffersons, Newhart, and Benson. He also directed episodes of shows which are not among my favorites, including Mister Ed, Maude, Good Times, Barney Miller, The Brady Bunch, and Gilligan's Island. For you Elvis fans out there, he also directed the King in the feature films Roustabout and Easy Come, Easy Go. Rich won an Emmy for his work on The Dick Van Dyke Show as well as two Emmys, two Golden Globes, and an N.A.A.C.P. Image Award for All In The Family. John Rich was 86 years old.
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| John Rich |
4) Whitney Houston was – and still remains – the greatest singer of my generation. Unfortunately, as talented as she was on the mic, she was twice as troubled away from it. Houston struggled for many years with drug addiction and endured a volatile relationship with longtime husband and fellow musician Bobby Brown. Whitney made several comeback attempts over the year, but she never seemed to be able to get out of her own way in order to move past and conquer her issues. Houston died from an "accidental drowning" (according to the coroner's report), most likely due in part to a combination of heart disease (from years of drug abuse) and her recent use of both cocaine and marijuana. Houston was 48 years old.
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| Whitney Houston |
5) Gratia Schimmelpenninck van der Oye was a Dutch alpine skier. Schimmelpenninck van der Oye competed at the 1936 Winter Olympics in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, finishing 14th in the alpine combined event. Despite her two falls, this remains the highest-ranking in Olympic skiing ever reached by a Dutch national. After retiring, Schimmelpenninck van der Oye became the first female member of the board of the International Ski Federation. Schimmelpenninck van der Oye was 99 years old. (And yes, I picked her to be on this list due to her ridiculously long name, not because she was one of the more well-known people who died this year.)
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| Gratia Schimmelpenninck van der Oye |
6) Gary Carter was a Major League Baseball catcher who spent the majority of his 21-year career playing for the Montreal Expos and the New York Mets. An 11-time All Star, Carter was known for both his excellent defense behind the plate as well as his power-hitting prowess. Carter was inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 2003. He died at the age of 57 from brain cancer.
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| Gary Carter |
7) Davy Jones was a singer and musician best known for his time spent with the music group The Monkees. Having worked at a seafood restaurant for four years during college which played only the oldies station nonstop, I became quite familiar with some of The Monkees' bigger hits, including "Last Train To Clarksville," "I'm A Believer," and "Daydream Believer." I could probably still sing most of the words to all of those songs even today. Oh yeah, and like most everybody else my age and older, I remember the episode of The Brady Bunch where Marcia tries to get Davy Jones to come and perform at her school dance and he actually shows up. Jones was 66 years old.
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| Davy Jones |
8) Junior Seau (pronounced SAY-ou) was an NFL linebacker and longtime member of the San Diego Chargers. Seau was a 10-time All-Pro, a 12-time Pro Bowl selection, and was named to the NFL 1990s All-Decade Team. Back when I first started watching football on TV, Seau was The Man. No offensive player, no matter how great they were, looked forward to facing him. Seau managed to last 20 seasons in the NFL, longer than most players due to the intense physical strain that the game puts on players. However, his longevity may have also led to Seau's early demise. Having suffered from multiple undiagnosed concussions throughout his career, Seau suffered from severe depression in the years after his retirement from the game. Tragically, Seau died at age 43 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
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| Junior Seau |
9) Donna Summer: There are way too many classic singers on this list this year. Summer was arguably the Queen of Disco, admittedly never one of my favorite styles of music. But her voice was undeniably good, and the popularity of her hits, including "Hot Stuff" and "She Works Hard For The Money" also can't be denied. Interestingly enough, when I heard that Summer had died, I thought, "Well, the 'I Will Survive' Lady didn't end up surviving after all." I later realized that the "'I Will Survive' Lady" was Gloria Gaynor (who's still alive) and not Summer. Goes to show how much I know about disco! Summer was 63 years old.
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| Donna Summer |
10) Ray Bradbury: One of my favorite books growing up – not surprisingly a bleak dystopian novel – was Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Most kids read this book because they have to – it's often assigned to be read as part of high school English classes (or is it Language Arts now?). I read it because I just wanted to. Go figure! Of course, it's a wonderful book, as is everything I've read by Bradbury – which admittedly, isn't as many books as it should be, considering the volume of this prolific author's work. Bradbury excelled at both science fiction, fantasy, horror, and mystery fiction – which are the main genres I most enjoy reading. He was one of the greatest modern American writers, and he will be greatly missed by his many fans, of which I am one. Bradbury was 91 years old.
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| Ray Bradbury |
Unfortunately, this list has to be capped off with a big TO BE CONTINUED..., as famous people will continue to die, whether we want them to or not. For that matter, a lot of non-famous people will also die over the coming months, whether we want them to or not. But since I have neither the time nor the energy to cover every death of consequence, I'll stick with the notable people with whom I was the most familiar.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
A Half-Stack Of Alpha Poetry
All I ever wanted was
A chance to do things right –
Or fail, but in the trying
Learn a little about life.
It seems as though I'll get it
After years anticipating
But for now I'll educate myself
And learn to love the waiting.
Back it up with actions
Your word is not enough.
Know when to stop talking
You can always say too much.
Prove what you're retelling
Don't assume it to be true.
What you say can cost you big
Don't let it own you, too.
Cat got my tongue?
No, I'm holding it willingly.
Bursting to tell someone
It's almost killing me.
Sooner than later
The time will have come
A sigh of relief when
It's all said and done.
Don't hold your breath
Your face will turn blue.
Ask me no questions
I'll give you no clues.
There have been plenty
Already, you see?
Maybe it's harder
For you than for me –
It is what it is
Or at least it will be.
Every dog has his day
'Least that's what they say.
That's fine, that's okay
But what if you're a blue jay?
Does a jay have its day
Or does it have to pay
To play in the spray
Of a stray gamma ray?
Funny business, this thing called Life –
How quick it comes and quick it goes.
But when it's good, it never stays
That way – it's like Somebody knows
That we will take for granted
All we've come to know as ours.
We will get lost in the minutes
And will stay that way for hours.
To keep things in perspective
We may smile and laugh for now –
But in just merely a second
It can all come crumbling down.
Getting to the good part
Where it finally comes together
Happy ever after. Kiss the girl
And then – forever!
If we could just fast-forward
To the space beyond the credits
When the story's in the past
And it's too late for the edits –
What would "happy ever after"
Really look like for the couple?
Would they still be smiling, grinning
Or would there be endless struggle?
Sadly, if this weren't a fantasy
They'd probably never make it.
But we watch again, and then again
It's not real – but we'll take it!
Head over heels in love with
Someone I can't even see
Weeks from now I will
But today, it's still a dream.
Scared that when we meet
I won't be ready – I won't know
All that I'm supposed to
After the first "hello."
I'm new at this, I'm awkward
And I think I'm learning slow
My goal – like theirs – until that time
Is – every day – to grow.
I'm not getting any younger
Or faster, or fitter –
If anything I'm fatter
And slower. Consider
That if I stay the way
That I am, or have been
I'll be in no condition
To move while my head spins.
I need to step my game up
I ought to be ashamed of
My lack of self-control
And willpower, I'm to blame. But
I have time to change, and
I want to – I'm ready!
The path ahead is foggy
But I'm moving – I'm steady.
Just a minute of your time
If I could have it, please
I'd like to tell you all about
This opportunity!
For the price of a cup of coffee
You could be saving a tree
If you say "yes" right now
We'll add another tree for free!
That's right, for just one cup a day
You'll be helping the planet –
I know you're so excited now
That you can hardly stand it!
But wait, there's more, if you agree
Right now to sponsor forests
We'll activate your membership
To National Outdoorists –
The magazine that's going green
By never being printed
Except online, of course – okay
I'm being quite long-winded!
I won't take up more of your time
Just need a valid credit card
We also do the bank draft thing
If you think that's not too hard.
Thank you, sir or madam, for
Your helpful contribution.
Speaking of which – we also have
A plan to stop pollution.
For just one dollar more per day
You could help clear all the smog away....
Kicking back and taking names
Of all the guys and all the dames
Who ever made me work too hard
So I can send them all postcards –
The "Wish You Were Here" kind
All personally signed, to remind
Them that I resigned, to unwind
Hundreds of miles from mankind
For the unconfined peace of mind
That, working, I could never find.
Light at the end of tunnel seems
Much brighter these days – not just in dreams.
Could it be that the dark is lifting?
Could it be that the tide is shifting?
Steady footing on a slippery slope
Reminds me there is always hope.
Making heads or tails of things
Is difficult when thoughts abound.
Worries, fears, and questions rise
And we are left to swim or drown.
Knowing what is happening
Is power, but not absolute.
Seeking answers, finding them
Is best – there's comfort in the truth.
A chance to do things right –
Or fail, but in the trying
Learn a little about life.
It seems as though I'll get it
After years anticipating
But for now I'll educate myself
And learn to love the waiting.
Back it up with actions
Your word is not enough.
Know when to stop talking
You can always say too much.
Prove what you're retelling
Don't assume it to be true.
What you say can cost you big
Don't let it own you, too.
Cat got my tongue?
No, I'm holding it willingly.
Bursting to tell someone
It's almost killing me.
Sooner than later
The time will have come
A sigh of relief when
It's all said and done.
Don't hold your breath
Your face will turn blue.
Ask me no questions
I'll give you no clues.
There have been plenty
Already, you see?
Maybe it's harder
For you than for me –
It is what it is
Or at least it will be.
Every dog has his day
'Least that's what they say.
That's fine, that's okay
But what if you're a blue jay?
Does a jay have its day
Or does it have to pay
To play in the spray
Of a stray gamma ray?
Funny business, this thing called Life –
How quick it comes and quick it goes.
But when it's good, it never stays
That way – it's like Somebody knows
That we will take for granted
All we've come to know as ours.
We will get lost in the minutes
And will stay that way for hours.
To keep things in perspective
We may smile and laugh for now –
But in just merely a second
It can all come crumbling down.
Getting to the good part
Where it finally comes together
Happy ever after. Kiss the girl
And then – forever!
If we could just fast-forward
To the space beyond the credits
When the story's in the past
And it's too late for the edits –
What would "happy ever after"
Really look like for the couple?
Would they still be smiling, grinning
Or would there be endless struggle?
Sadly, if this weren't a fantasy
They'd probably never make it.
But we watch again, and then again
It's not real – but we'll take it!
Head over heels in love with
Someone I can't even see
Weeks from now I will
But today, it's still a dream.
Scared that when we meet
I won't be ready – I won't know
All that I'm supposed to
After the first "hello."
I'm new at this, I'm awkward
And I think I'm learning slow
My goal – like theirs – until that time
Is – every day – to grow.
I'm not getting any younger
Or faster, or fitter –
If anything I'm fatter
And slower. Consider
That if I stay the way
That I am, or have been
I'll be in no condition
To move while my head spins.
I need to step my game up
I ought to be ashamed of
My lack of self-control
And willpower, I'm to blame. But
I have time to change, and
I want to – I'm ready!
The path ahead is foggy
But I'm moving – I'm steady.
Just a minute of your time
If I could have it, please
I'd like to tell you all about
This opportunity!
For the price of a cup of coffee
You could be saving a tree
If you say "yes" right now
We'll add another tree for free!
That's right, for just one cup a day
You'll be helping the planet –
I know you're so excited now
That you can hardly stand it!
But wait, there's more, if you agree
Right now to sponsor forests
We'll activate your membership
To National Outdoorists –
The magazine that's going green
By never being printed
Except online, of course – okay
I'm being quite long-winded!
I won't take up more of your time
Just need a valid credit card
We also do the bank draft thing
If you think that's not too hard.
Thank you, sir or madam, for
Your helpful contribution.
Speaking of which – we also have
A plan to stop pollution.
For just one dollar more per day
You could help clear all the smog away....
Kicking back and taking names
Of all the guys and all the dames
Who ever made me work too hard
So I can send them all postcards –
The "Wish You Were Here" kind
All personally signed, to remind
Them that I resigned, to unwind
Hundreds of miles from mankind
For the unconfined peace of mind
That, working, I could never find.
Light at the end of tunnel seems
Much brighter these days – not just in dreams.
Could it be that the dark is lifting?
Could it be that the tide is shifting?
Steady footing on a slippery slope
Reminds me there is always hope.
Making heads or tails of things
Is difficult when thoughts abound.
Worries, fears, and questions rise
And we are left to swim or drown.
Knowing what is happening
Is power, but not absolute.
Seeking answers, finding them
Is best – there's comfort in the truth.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Reasons To Laugh
getting exactly what they deserve.
they don't know (whether you do or not).
It seems to work for hyenas (or hyena, or hyenae, or hyenæ)...
surprises you, and you can't contain your joy.
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