Great Gift Ideas For Friends And Family (Inspired By Vintage Christmas Ads)

This holiday season, give your friends and family gifts they'll actually love, not ones they'll just return as soon as they leave your house. If you're looking for a great gift for that hard-to-please uncle or for your weird best friend, then look no further! These vintage Christmas ads are chock-full of wonderful (if occasionally outdated) ideas sure to help you check off the rest of the names on your list...You're welcome!

 1)  A Portable Typewriter

2)  Alka Seltzer

3)  Nourishing Meat

4)  Christmas Carousel Ornaments

5)  A Sportsman's Axe

6)  Toothpaste

 7)  A Foam Pillow

8)  A Baby Bear (Or Whiskey?)

 9)  A Steam Iron (Or A Toaster...Or Both!)

10)  A Pencil Sharpener

11)  A Home Intercom System

12)  An Alarm Clock (Or Two...Or Three!)

13)  Cowboy Boots

14)  Jell-O

15)  Dixie Cups (With Convenient Cup Dispenser)

16)  Shaving Cream

17)  A Personal Radio (Or A Clock Radio...Or Both!)

19)  A Dictionary

20)  Sunkist Oranges

21)  Lincoln Logs

22)  Radio Tubes

23)  Pyrex Bakeware

24)  A Rand McNally Atlas

 

25)  A Projection Television Receiver (Or A Direct-View Receiver...Or Both!)

 

26)  A View-Master

27)   An Air Gun...For Everyone In The Family

28)  Hosiery

29)  A Carton Of Cigarettes (Ronald Reagan Approved!)

30)  Look-Alike Pajamas

31)  An Ironing Board

32)  A Rifle For Your Son

33)  A Carload Of Q-Tips

34)  A Soaky Santa Bubble Bath

Things I Find Fascinating: Cackle-Worthy Classified Ads

I worked in the classifieds department of the local newspaper here for about four years. In that time, I heard and saw some crazy advertisements. But very few of those can match the kookiness of these. Don't think too much – just kick back and revel in the weirdness!

Yeah, but I bet you have to pay double for the torturing.

This does not compute. Wanna try that again?

Tired of working for next to nothing? 

Join our team and work for even less!

Tough decision. I mean, the cat doesn't have a job.

Whoa, Nelly!!!

There's gotta be a better way to word that...

Sounds like a fair deal to me.

Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!!!

$100 for a flag from the future? That's a steal!

That's a pretty good price if it's actually in excellent

condition. Incidentally, what the heck is it?

Hmm. I might have to check that out. Usually, the

bilingual cars are way more expensive than that.

If you'll throw in the assault rifles at no

extra cost, you've got yourself a deal!

I don't know about Fluffy, but I'm certain

that Thumper is not going to like this one bit!

Define "slight" for me, if you don't mind.

Who doesn't have indoor plumbing in this day and age?

It's so not worth it at that price!

Imagine that!

"Good with children?" quips Mr. Giggles.

"Oh yeah, I'm good with children. Slather a

little ketchup and mustard on 'em and they

taste just like chicken. Yummy to my tummy!"

What I want to know is, why doesn't Homer

need it anymore? Zombie apocalypse, anyone?

Why didn't I think of that? And we just made

tetrazzini with our leftover turkey! Duh!"

Don't get all sentimental on me here! I mean, really,

you've still got another arm, don't you? Quit whining!