Thursday, May 30, 2013

Songs By Bands With Modes Of Transportation In Their Names, Vol. 2: Traveling By Water And By Air

Second and final installment in my latest pointless miniseries. Enjoy!  ~  JH




1)  Tom Williams & The Boat  ~  "Teenage Blood"



2)  BOAT  ~  "We Want It! We Want It!"



3)  Riverboat Gamblers  ~  "DissDissDissKissKissKiss"



4)  The Submarines  ~  "Fire"



5)  Porcelain Raft  ~  "Unless You Speak From The Heart"



6)  Battleships  ~  "Your Words"



7)  Bryan Ferry  ~  "Let's Stick Together"



8)  Yacht  ~  "Summer Song"



9)  Helicopter  ~  "Bloc Party"



10)  Paper Aeroplanes  ~  "Lifelight"



11)  Jefferson Airplane  ~  "White Rabbit"



12)  JET  ~  "Look What You've Done"



13)  Joan Jett & The Blackhearts  ~  "I Love Rock 'N' Roll"



14)  Jefferson Starship  ~  "Sara"



15)  A Rocket To The Moon  ~  "Like We Used To"

Stories # 54, # 55, & # 56: "No-Pants Murphy," "The Other Shoe Drops," & "Unlucky In Love"

I am feeling particularly creative today. Enjoy this triple dose of short fiction...if you dare.  ~  JH



NO-PANTS MURPHY


Every good nickname has a great story behind it. Murphy's is no exception.

One morning, as he was making his way from his apartment to his office, Murphy was astounded to find that he had neglected to put on his pants. He'd noticed a slight chill in the air and found it strange, since the sun was already bearing down intensely.

What he wore in lieu of trousers was worth the price of admission, were there a charge to be seen in public. Murphy had bought the SpongeBob SquarePants boxer shorts on a whim several months previous, thinking that the sight of them might elicit a chuckle or two from his otherwise emotionless wife. They'd failed to do so.

As licensed underwear often are, the shorts had been overpriced, and he felt compelled to get some wear out of them despite the failure of their intended use.

On this particular morning, Murphy had been in quite a rush, having overslept by forty-five minutes, which was unusual for him. He'd remembered to grab his coffee before heading out the door. He'd even remembered to bring his briefcase. Unfortunately, he did not remember his pants.

That morning, the kids at the corner waiting for the school bus had laughed at him a little harder than they usually did. He assumed it was because he'd also forgotten to shave and was looking more than a bit stubbly.

The man at the newspaper stand, who would have been afforded a full glimpse of Murphy's pantslessness, had apparently pretended not to notice. Either that, or Murphy was somehow not the man's most memorable patron thus far.

Murphy was half a block from his office when he realized his mistake. Not being a man of great shamefulness, he decided to carry on and suffer the probable ridicule of his colleagues.

They did not disappoint. Much mirth abounded in the office that day. A coworker who'd secretly had a crush on Murphy had promptly fainted at the sight of him, and she'd required a small dose of oxygen to properly recover.

It was Stewart who came up with "No-Pants." Murphy didn't think the nickname was particularly inventive or even very catchy, but it was apt and well-liked enough by all that it stuck.

Murphy never forgot his pants again after that day. He did, however, leave them off on purpose from time to time in order to justify the continued use of the "No-Pants" affectation. The reaction was always the same – unbridled laughter by most and the need for oxygen by one.

Such was the life of a man called Murphy.






THE OTHER SHOE DROPS


"Vincent, thank you for taking my call. I've been trying to touch base with you..."

"No problem, Norris. I needed to talk to you, too. What's on your mind?"

"Well, I have some ideas for the fall project that I wanted to run by you. Do you have a few minutes?"

"Actually, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Norris, the thing is...we're thinking about making Rick the project manager this fall."

"What? Vincent, what are you talking about? I've been the project manager for the past four years now. Why would you give it to Rick?"

"Well, Norris, the fact of the matter is, we've been noticing a few things about you of late that don't line up with our standards of excellence."

"You mean I'm not doing good work?"

"No, you are, you are, Norris. It's just that, well, some of the things you've been talking about lately are...well, a little out of bounds."

"What did I say, Vincent?"

"It's not what you said. It's more what you wrote."

"You mean in the company newsletter? If you mean that Joke of the Week from the January edition, that's ridiculous, Vincent. I mean, it was a joke."

"It wasn't your Joke of the Week column. Although that one didn't set too well with the bigwigs, they were able to overlook it as a one-time-only miscue. It's...well, it's your blog that's got us squirming in our seats, Norris."

"My personal blog?"

"That's the one. You've been posting a lot of questionable material of late, and frankly, we're a little concerned that you're falling off a bit."

"You all are concerned about what I'm writing on my personal blog on my own time? What gives, Vincent?"

"Well, it's like this, Norris. Everything you do or say, especially in public, reflects on us as a company. You may work here 40 hours a week, but you represent us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year."

"Vincent, I don't get it. What did I post on my blog that you're uncomfortable with?"

"Well, lots of things, Norris. But, in particular, the music."

"I post all kinds of music on my blog. What's the big deal?"

"That's just it. You post all kinds of music. As you well know, our company has always been known to favor a specific kind of music, and the kind of garbage you're putting up there is not it!"

"Vincent, this is ridiculous! You're telling me that you're pulling me off the fall project because I like a different kind of music than you and the head honchos do?"

"You're missing my point, Norris. It's not that you like a certain kind of music that's contrary to our preferences; it's that you talk about it publicly. That's the issue here."

"Well, what would you have me do, Vincent? Lie about what I listen to, figure out what it is that you and the bigwigs want to hear and post that, or stop writing my blog altogether?"

"Norris, I can't tell you what to do or not to do on your own time. That's your choice. But it's my job to remind you that your choices have consequences. What you choose is up to you, but there is always a price to pay."

"Thanks for the reminder, Vincent. I'm getting out of here."

"I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way."

"Sure you are, Vincent."

"Oh, Norris...didn't you say you had some ideas you wanted to run by me?"

"What's the point now?"

"Well, Rick doesn't have a whole lot of experience as project manager, you know. And you do. So if there's anything we might be able to pass along to him, I'm sure he would appreciate it."

"I'm sure he would, Vincent. But you can't have it both ways."

"Norris..."

" Good luck on the fall project."

"..."



UNLUCKY IN LOVE


It's happened again. The latest love of her life has proven to be less than worthy of her affection. Another broken engagement. Another broken heart. Another all-night crying session.

It's happened before. The first time was years ago. It was just as well. She wasn't ready for forever then. Maybe she still isn't. She doesn't know anymore.

Just when a guy seems perfect, the veneer starts chipping away and she sees him for what he really is. Flawed. Hopelessly so. She knows she deserves the best, and nothing else will do. She's worth it.

It will happen again. She's sure of it. She's destined for love, for a lifetime, for forever. But she hasn't found Mr. Right just yet. He's out there. Somewhere. She knows it.

Every so often, she wonders if she is the problem. She wonders if it's not the guy that's dropping the ball, but she who has the slippery fingers. Then she looks in the mirror, and knows she is mistaken.

Any man who isn't willing (or able) to accept her as she is – a flawless specimen of righteous femininity – is unworthy to be her soulmate.

Until such a man finally appears, she will do what she does best. Drown her sorrows in herself, reveling in her own perfection. And wonder why that will never be enough.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Songs By Bands With Modes Of Transportation In Their Names, Vol. 1: Traveling By Land

Why ask why? Just go with it.   ~  JH



1)  Band Of Horses  ~  "Laredo"




2)  Scooter  ~  "Jumping All Over The World"




3)  Bombay Bicycle Club  ~  "Lights Out, Words Gone"




4)  Bye Bye Bicycle  ~  "Northpole"




5)  The Tractors  ~  "Shortenin' Bread"




6)  Slim Cessna's Auto Club  ~  "A Smashing Indictment Of Character"




7)  The Cars  ~  "Drive"




8)  Honeywagon  ~  "The Way You Make Me Feel"




9)  Busdriver  ~  "Avantcore"




10)  Tedeschi Trucks Band  ~  "Learn How To Love"




11)  The Derek Trucks Band  ~  "Down Don't Bother Me"




12)  Van Halen  ~  "Right Now"




13)  The Subways  ~  "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"




14)  Train  ~  "Drops Of Jupiter"


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Interesting Quotes By Notable Idahoans



"A monument's dimensions should be determined 
by the importance to civilization of the events 
commemorated. Let us place there, carved high, as 
close to heaven as we can, the words of our leaders, their 
faces, to show posterity what manner of men they were. 
Then breathe a prayer that these records will endure until 
the wind and the rain alone shall wear them away."  
~  Gutzon Borglum, sculptor of Mount Rushmore



"The most truly generous persons are those who
give silently without hope of praise or reward."  
~  Carol Ryrie Brink, novelist



 "No fiction is worth reading except for entertainment. 
If it entertains and is clean, it is good literature, 
or its kind. If it forms the habit of reading in people 
who might not read otherwise, it is the best literature."  
~  Edgar Rice Burroughs, novelist



"The truth doesn't need to be 
known, or believed, to be true."  
~  Chris Crutcher, novelist



"There is nothing to writing. All you do 
is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." 
  ~  Ernest Hemingway, novelist



"It does not require many 
words to speak the truth."  
~  Chief Joseph, Native American leader



"Life is precious and time is a key element. 
Let's make every moment count and help those 
who have a greater need than our own."  
~  Harmon Killebrew, baseball player



"If a man isn't willing to take some risk for his opinions, 
either his opinions are no good, or he's no good."  
~  Ezra Pound, poet



"There's uncertainty in our lives. At night, you just 
have to go to sleep and have faith in the fairly large 
certainty that you'll wake up in the morning. 
Fear only has as much power as we give it space." 
~  Josh Ritter, writer



"Which side of the blade is sharper? 
The lie or the truth? It all seems irrelevant 
when your jugular is sliced open and you're 
lying in a pool of blood for the whole world to see."  
~  Nikki Sixx, musician



"The thing about happiness is that it doesn't 
help you to grow; only unhappiness does that. 
So I'm grateful that my bed of roses was 
made up equally of blossoms and thorns."  
~  Lana Turner, actress



"Flying is hours and hours of boredom 
sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror."  
~  Pappy Boyington, fighter ace

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Things I Find Fascinating: Symphonic Metal Music

When it comes to music, I've never been that much of a metalhead, per sé, though I do appreciate that there are quite a few metal bands out there making some good music. One branch in particular of the heavy metal family that does "float my boat," so to speak, is symphonic metal. To quote from Wikipedia, symphonic metal is "heavy metal music that contains symphonic elements – that is, elements that are borrowed from other music genres (i.e. classical music, progressive rock) but usually with more keyboards or acoustic guitars and typically an operatic female lead vocalist." Such is the case with most of these bands. While not all of the music created by these bands would always be considered symphonic metal, or even heavy metal for that matter, these songs are some good examples of the genre. Enjoy!   ~  JH



1)  Nightwish  ~  "Sleeping Sun"



2)  Apocalyptica ft. Lacey Sturm (of Flyleaf)  ~  "Broken Pieces"



3)  Evanescence  ~  "My Immortal"



4)  Epica  ~  "Unleashed"



5)  Therion  ~  "Summernight City"



6)  Visions Of Atlantis  ~  "New Dawn"



7)  Almora  ~  "Tilsim"



8)  Within Temptation  ~  "Memories"



9)  Delain  ~  "April Rain"



10)  Leaves' Eyes  ~  "My Destiny"



11)  Sarah Jezebel Deva  ~  "The World Can't Hold Your Hand"



12)  Edenbridge  ~  "Higher"



13)  Xandria  ~  "Save My Life"



14)  Rhapsody Of Fire  ~  "Sea Of Fate"



15)  Dark Moor  ~  "Love From The Stone"



16)  Kamelot ft. Simone Simons (of Epica)  ~  "The Haunting"



17)  Sonata Arctica  ~  "Paid In Full"



18)  Serenity  ~  "Wings Of Madness"



19)  Versailles  ~  "The Love From A Dead Orchestra"



20)  Amberian Dawn  ~  "He Sleeps In A Grove"