Monday, June 24, 2013

Songs By Ladies Named Maggie

There's no particular reason why I decided to do this post, other than the fact that I stumbled upon a lovely song by a singer named Maggie on YouTube and thought: "I've got to find some way to include that in a post." And it just snowballed from there. I won't tell you which song inspired the post, because any of these is good enough to have done so on its own. Anyway, there's only 12 songs this time, so I didn't go too overboard like I usually do. Enjoy!  ~  JH




1)  Maggie Sajak  ~  "First Kiss"  (Yes, this is Wheel Of Fortune host Pat Sajak's daughter)



2)  Maggie Reilly  ~  "Every Time We Touch"




3)  Maggie Rose  ~  "Better"



4)  Maggie McClure  ~  "Good Morning And Good Night"



5)  Maggie MacNeal  ~  "When You're Gone"



6)  All About Maggie  ~  "Spin Your Lies"



7)  Maggie Gabbard  ~  "Just Wait And See"



8)  Maggie Thorn  ~  "Gravel Road"

(Video wouldn't display properly – click link below:)


9)  Maggie Rogers  ~  "On The Page"



10)  Maggie Koerner  ~  "Cayute Woman"



11)  Maggie Bjorklund  ~  "Wasteland"  (Okay, so she's not a singer – but what an instrumentalist!)



12)  Maggie Malyn  ~  "Me And You"


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Songs By Singers With Lengthy Last Names

There were only three criteria for being included in this compilation. The artist's last name had to be 10 letters or more in length; the last name could not be hyphenated; and it had to be their actual surname, not a stage name. All in all, a nice collection of songs, several of which I was already familiar with. Enjoy!  ~  JH



1)  Joan Armatrading  ~  "This Charming Life"



2)  Lindsey Buckingham  ~  "Trouble"



3)  Natasha Bedingfield  ~  "Unwritten"



4)  Paul Butterfield  ~  "Slow Down"



5)  Julian Casablancas  ~  "11th Dimension"



6)  Melissa Manchester  ~  "Don't Cry Out Loud"



7)  John Frusciante  ~  "Sum"



8)  Martine McCutcheon  ~  "Perfect Moment"



9)  Israel Kamakawiwo'ole  ~  "Somewhere Over The Rainbow"



10)  Meshell Ndegeocello  ~  "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"



11)  Kris Kristofferson  ~  "This Old Road"



12)  Nicole Scherzinger  ~  "Boomerang"



13)  Ray LaMontagne  ~  "For The Summer"



14)  Alanis Morissette  ~  "So Pure"



15)  John Mellencamp  ~  "Small Town"



16)  Charlotte Gainsbourg  ~  "Terrible Angels"



17)  Bruce Springsteen  ~  "Streets Of Philadelphia"



18)  Justin Timberlake  ~  "Mirrors"



19)  Francesca Battistelli  ~  "Free To Be Me"



20)  Paul Westerberg  ~  "Dyslexic Heart"

10 Things I Like Being


I LIKE BEING...


...a husband. It makes me feel wanted.


...a dad. It makes me feel needed.


...by myself. Sometimes. Especially when I'm working.


...mysterious. It keeps people guessing.


...weird. It makes me seem less boring than I actually am.


...the butt of people's jokes. It means they're not ignoring me completely.


...behind the scenes. I've never craved the spotlight, and I doubt I ever will.


...cool. So, no, I'm not a big fan of summer.


...left-handed. It's the only way I can prove that I'm in my right mind.


...bored. It never fails to get my creative juices flowing.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Songs By Polish Pop Stars

On this blog in recent months, I've explored the popular music of Iceland and Finland, among others. Therefore, it only felt natural to tackle Poland's pop music next – specifically, that of its female pop stars. Don't try to follow the logic, because there really isn't any. Just enjoy some good music – some of which is even sung in English!  ~  JH



1)  Ala Boratyn ~  "Don't Believe Them"  (Poland's answer to Avril Lavigne)



2)  Ania Dabrowska  ~  "Nigdy nie mow nigdy"  ("Never Say Never")  (Powerful vocals, catchy tune...'nuff said)



3)  Agnes Pihlava  ~  "I Thought We Were Lovers"  (Robust hard-rock instrumentation and strong vocals – think of her as the Polish version of Heart)



4)  Anna Maria Jopek  ~  "Don't Speak"  (A fresh, jazzy take on a classic No Doubt song – it sounds completely different, but in a good way)



5)  Basia  ~  "Cruising For Bruising"  (A classic early '90s pop song in this country – if you're old enough, I'll be you even know this one!)



6)  Doda  ~  "Electrode"  (The Polish Lady Gaga, apparently)



7)  Edyta Gorniak  ~  "List"  ("Letter")  (Wow! I heard this song, and thought, this is exactly like Celine Dion, only in Polish – turns out, this song is a Polish-language reworking of Dion's "I Surrender"...and Dion is a fan of Gorniak's! Go figure!)



8)  Ewa Farna  ~  "Monster High"  (Think Britney Spears or Katy Perry, without all the immodest attire)



9)  Ewelina Flinta  ~  "Zaluje"  ("Regret")  (Impressive vocals, even if I don't understand any of the words)



10)  Ewelina Lisowska  ~  "Nieodporny Rozum"  ("Fragile Mind")  (Pleasantly edgy, P!nk-like power-pop)



11)  Gosia Andrzjewicz  ~  "Zabierz Mnie"  ("Take Me")  (A solid R&B/pop offering)



12)  Kasia Cerekwicka  ~  "Ksiaze"  ("Prince")  (This lady is TOUGH! The song's pretty fierce, too!)



13)  Kasia Gomola  ~  "Czekam"  ("I Look Forward")  (A beautiful, straight-forward pop song whose tune sounds vaguely familiar)



14)  Alexandra  ~  "Poplyniemy Daleko"  ("We Will Sail Away")  (Lovely electro-pop song)



15)  Sasha Strunin  ~  "Zaczaruj Mnie Ostatni Raz"  ("The Last Time You Put A Spell On Me")  (Hauntingly beautiful, somewhat sad, but remarkably well-sung)



16)  Sylwia Grzeszczak ft. Liber  ~  "Mijamy sie"  ("We Pass")  (Nice R&B song with powerhouse vocals and some Polish rapping – because, why not?)



17)  Mandaryna  ~  "Good Dog Bad Dog"  (In the same musical vein as Ke$ha, with the same amount of quirky charm, but this lady actually has some style – i.e., doesn't look like she got her wardrobe from a landfill)

(Video wouldn't load – just click on the link below:)


18)  Monika Brodka  ~  "Krzyzowka Dnia"  ("Crossword Day")  (Quirky song and video, with equally quirky – but good! – vocals)



19)  Patrycja Kosiarkiewicz  ~  "Czy komus jeszcze wstyd?"  ("Is Anyone Else Embarrassed?")  (Odd song...odd video...yet oddly catchy!)

(Yet again, a video that won't load!
Click on the link below to view it:)


20)  Renata Przemyk ~  "Jakby nie mialo byc"  (Beautifully composed and sung, with a seemingly meaningful yet utterly intriguing video concept)

Friday, June 14, 2013

Stories # 57, # 58, & # 59: "Beware Of Dog," "Dead End," & "Speed Checked By Radar"


These three short stories started off as simply intriguing titles which I'd culled from common road signs. They turned out to be – especially in the case of the last story – oddly humorous tales of which I'm rather proud. Hope you'll enjoy reading them as much as I did writing them.  ~  JH




BEWARE OF DOG

My dog chowed down on some chili beans up in here last night, so I wouldn't be hangin' around him too close, if you know what I'm sayin'. I ain't mean for it to happen. I had got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back, like two seconds later, he had his face all up in them mugs, just chompin' away. I about took 'em away from 'im, but then I was, like, this junk could be hilarious! I could catch him on my camera phone cuttin' the cheese or somethin', and send it in to one of those funniest video shows on TV, and win some money, yo! But he ain't pooted so far, least not where I could tell – and them was potent chili beans, so I'm pretty sure I woulda noticed, like even if I was sleeping I woulda noticed. Anyway, like I was sayin', you best keep your distance unless you wanna be skunked. Don't say I ain't warn you.



DEAD END

My favorite books are the kind where everyone dies in the end. It's crazy, I know, but I just love getting emotionally invested in a character, or even better, in a bunch of characters, and then seeing them killed off, one by one, like it was a zombie apocalypse or something. Except, unlike a zombie apocalypse, they don't come back to life later on. Maybe this is why I don't read too many book series. In a series, you always know that, no matter how bad the situation is, the main character is going to survive, because Book 2 is on the way, and Book 3 isn't too far behind it. No, I'm not a fan of serial novels, or book series, whatever you want to call them. Give me a cleanly written, self-contained book where bad stuff happens to likable characters and everyone dies by the last page. That's my kind of story!



SPEED CHECKED BY RADAR

I'm cruising down the interstate at about a 90 mph clip the other day, when all of a sudden, I see flashing lights in the rearview. Crap, I'm thinking, I'm busted now. The weird thing is, the lights aren't red and blue like on a normal cop car, or even orangey-red like on a tow truck or an ambulance. Oddly enough, they're green flashing lights. But flashing lights are flashing lights, and they only mean one thing: I'm in trouble.

So I pull over to the side of the road and stop the car. The green-flashing-lights car pulls in behind me, and – I'm watching all this in my rearview mirror – out steps a diminutive figure in green army fatigues. That's a little strange, but this is a rural area, so I'm thinking maybe the cops here have their own style of uniform that works for them – whatever. As the cop, or sheriff, or whatever he is, approaches the car, it strikes me that he looks very familiar. Where have I seen that face before, that little green hat, those Coke-bottle glasses?

The peculiar-looking man appears in the driver's side window and, in a rather high-pitched voice that I can't mistake for anyone else's, states, "License and registration, please."

I cock my head to one side and raise my eyebrows in astonishment. "Aren't you...?"

The man puts on an unconvincing stern face and repeats, "License and registration, please, sir."

I turn to retrieve my registration card from the glove box, fish out my license from my wallet, and hand them both to the man. He studies them carefully, distracted for the moment, so I try again. "Aren't you that guy from that TV show? MASH, the one about the Korean War?"

"Yes," he mutters quietly.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"Yes, I am," he answers.

"Oh, wow, you're Gary Burghoff. You're Radar!"

"Yes," he repeats. He hands me back the license and registration card, still mock-frowning.

"Do you realize how fast you were going, sir?"

"A little faster than I should've been, I'm assuming, Mr. Burghoff."

"Officer Burghoff," he says, in that unmistakable Radar voice.

"I'm sorry, Officer. I just can't believe it's you. You're a cop!"

"Law enforcement officer," Radar corrects me.

"Yes, of course, Mr...Officer Burghoff."

"Speeding is a very serious crime, you know," the famous actor warns, still trying to look tough, but looking oh-so-Radar-like instead.

"Yes, Ra...yes, officer. I'm very sorry about that."

"I'm going to have to ticket you."

"I understand, sir. Mr. Burghoff...I mean, Officer...would you also mind signing this for me?"

"A basketball, sir?" Radar inquires.

"Well, it's the only thing I have in the car," I note.

"Wait a second," Radar falters. "I didn't pick up on the name at first, but your face is unmistakable. Are you the LeBron James?"

"Yes," I answer.

"Well, this is just incredible!" the little man exclaims, suddenly animated.

"It is pretty crazy," I comment.

"Hang on a second, Mr. James, I'll be right back."

Officer Burghoff scampers back to his car like a schoolboy and returns with a pair of handcuffs, and hands them to me.

"Whoa, whoa, what's going on here?" I ask.

"It's my spare pair," Radar answers.

"Okay...so what am I supposed to do with them?"

"Sign them...please, sir. I have a Sharpie right here," he adds, and pulls one out of his pocket.

I shake my head in amusement, then I sign the handcuffs and carefully hand them back to him. "What about my basketball?" I ask.

"Oh, of course, sir, Mr. James, sir," he says, sounding more and more like Radar all the time.

I hand him the basketball and his Sharpie and he signs it for me – "Gary 'Radar' Burghoff" – just like that.

"Thanks, Mr...Officer Burghoff," I smile. "Well, it was good to meet you, sir." I turn the key in the ignition and start my car.

"Hold it right there, Mr. James!" Radar shouts, and places his hand on my left arm firmly.

"What's up?" I ask.

"There's a matter of a ticket to be settled," he replies.

"I thought we just settled it," I say, and smirk just a touch.

"Not at all, sir! The law is the law, and my job is to enforce the law, no matter what!" Now he sounds like Barney Fife.

"Seriously?" I ask, incredulous.

"Seriously," he counters calmly, and – with his signed handcuffs tucked under one arm – fills out a ticket and hands it to me unceremoniously. "Have a nice day, Mr. James. It was a pleasure meeting you also."

I watch in the rearview as the famous little man saunters back to his cop car. I put my car into drive and pull back onto the highway, unable to do anything other than laugh my fool head off.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Songs By Bands With "Sisters" In Their Names

I don't know how I can follow up yesterday's post, with all its classic songs, and with the apparent widespread interest it generated (the post has gotten an astounding 44 hits in less than 24 hours so far!), but here goes my best effort. 

Because I can never leave well enough alone, what follows is a collection of songs by bands with "Sisters" in their names. The band members did not actually have to be sisters to qualify for this list; they just had to have "Sisters" in their name. And, no, there will be no Twisted Sister or Sister Sledge here, because the word "Sisters" had to be plural to qualify. (Don't look at me like that – I didn't make these rules up! Oh, wait...yes, I did!)  

Fair warning: Due to the inherent nature of historical (and contemporary) "sister acts," there will be doo-wop in this post. An above-average amount of doo-wop, actually. But you'll survive. Hey, you may even like it. Enjoy!  ~  JH




1)  Living Sisters ~  "How Are You Doing?"  (Infectious folk-pop at its finest!)



2)  The Pointer Sisters  ~  "I'm So Excited"  (They just can't hide it...)



3)  Sisters Doll  ~  "Dollhouse"  (This post wouldn't be complete without a creepy glam-rock band, right? It would? Well, it's too late now!)



4)  The J Sisters ft. Prominence  ~  "Take The Victory"  (Once again, I am the king of anomalies, following a glam-rock song with one by an urban gospel group.)

(Ugh! Click on the link below to view the video:)


5)  Sisters Of Mercy  ~  "Lucretia My Reflection"  (This is a fairly horrible song – not content-wise – it's just bad...bad music, bad singing, you name it; I won't blame you for not listening to it – this one is basically filler anyways, so that I'd end up with 20 songs total)



6)  The Gothard Sisters  ~  "Scarborough Fair"  (A fresh rendition of a Simon & Garfunkel classic – these folk-pop songstresses give off a Celtic Woman vibe – which is to say, they're really good!)



7)  Scissor Sisters  ~  "Fire With Fire"  (This band's relative popularity obligated me to include them here – and they sound pretty rad, so it worked out nicely)



8)  McClain Sisters  ~  "Great Divide"  (Oh, drat! A Disney pop song! #smh)



9)  Gardiner Sisters  ~  "One Man Show"  (These ladies deserve any and all notoriety that has or may soon come their way!)



10)  The Naughton Sisters  ~  "We Were Just Kids"  (Nice, folksy-sounding song – and lovely views of Germany – this one's a keeper!)

(Ugh, not again! Click on the link below to view the video:)


11)  Quebe Sisters Band  ~  "It's A Sin To Lie"  (When exactly did country music become pseudo-rock music and stop being wonderfully down-home concoctions like this one?)



12)  The Puppini Sisters  ~  "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (Of Company B)"  (I told you there'd be doo-wop. If you're older or young and cultured, you might recognize this as a popular Andrews Sisters number [more on them later], but the Puppini Sisters render it quite well in their own right.)



13)  The Secret Sisters  ~  "I've Got A Feeling"  (No, this is not a Black Eyed Peas cover – it's good, old-fashioned girl-pop!)



14)  The Sami Sisters  ~  "Oh Boy"  (And now, all the way from New Zealand, it's...these girls...sounding not unlike the Katy Perrys and Ke$has of this country.)

(Oh, YouTube, why do you hate me? 
You know the drill – click the link below:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUF0rp7M7lk


15)  The Beu Sisters  ~  "Anytime You Need A Friend"  (Oh, look...another Disney pop song. It's clichéd and a bit maudlin, but perfectly polished. Like I said, it's a Disney pop song.)



16)  The Pink Champagne Sisters  ~  "It Don't Mean A Thing"  (Because, admit it, you needed more doo-wop to lighten up your Thursday!)



17)  Boswell Sisters  ~  "Heebie Jeebies"  (Okay, so it's not doo-wop, but it still reeks [in a good way] of perfect three-part harmonies – I dunno what to call it, flapper pop maybe?)



18)  Yellow Sisters  ~  "Tubab Woman"  (If I'm hearing the lyrics correctly, a "Tubab woman" is a white African woman with a "black soul"...alrighty then!)



19)  SWV (Sisters With Voices)  ~  "I'm So Into You"  (I remember this catchy tune from back in the day – the mid-'90s, to be exact.)



20)  The Andrews Sisters ~  "Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree"  (Last but not least, the often-imitated but never-duplicated, undisputed queens of doo-wop, the one-and-only Andrews Sisters – with special [thankfully non-singing] guest star Shemp Howard, of The Three Stooges fame)