Wednesday, May 16, 2012

People Named "Foot" Who Want To Date You

1)  Caroline Foot:  A former butterfly swimmer from Great Britain, Caroline represented her country at the 1988 and 1996 Summer Olympics. In 1997, she won the bronze medal at the European Championships in the women's 4 x 100m medley relay. Caroline likes puppies, rainbows, and long walks on the beach – but she'll only swim in the water if you give her a medal for doing so – preferably a gold one this time. Please, and thank you.

Caroline Foot

2)  David Foot:  David is a Canadian economist and demographer whose research focuses on the impact of demographics on economics (shocking!), especially as pertaining to the aging of the Baby Boomers. David likes counting to a hundred in his best "Kermit The Frog" voice, flying paper airplanes, and discussing the eating habits of giraffes.

David Foot

3)  Sir Dingle Mackintosh Foot:  Dingle was a British lawyer and politician prior to his death in 1978. He was a Liberal Member of Parliament for Dundee from 1931 - 1945 and a Labour Member of Parliament for Ipswich from 1957 - 1970. Dingle died in a hotel in Hong Kong after choking on a bone in a chicken sandwich; but he hopes his being dead won't keep you from giving him a call. Dingle likes being called "Sir," drinking massive amounts of Mt. Dew (but only out of glass bottles), and occasionally being seen by the living (usually out of the corner of one's eye, and only for half a second).

Sir Dingle Foot

4)  Jessica Foot:  Jessica has been playing the oboe since age 10. She completed her Bachelor of Music Performance at the Victorian College of the Arts in 2004. That same year, Jessica was awarded the Friends of the VCA Encouragement Award. Jessica likes playing the oboe, listening to other people play the oboe, and saying the word "oboe" repeatedly with her mouth full of marshmallows.

Jessica Foot

5)  Sean Foot:  Sean is an award-winning prosthetics makeup technician from New Zealand who has worked on several classic films, including The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe. He had this little dust-up with the law a few years back, something to do with drugs, but he wants you to know that even though he pled guilty it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his Ectsasy, and he doesn't know how it got in his pocket or in his bloodstream. Sean likes making normal-sized people look like hobbits, playing the New Zealand national anthem on his lucky kazoo, and getting really stoned (wait, did he just say that out loud? Um, just forget he ever said that, okay?).

Sean Foot

6)  Moira Foot:  Moira is a British actress who achieved some degree of notoriety in the 1970s and '80s in British television series such as Are You Being Served?, The Benny Hill Show, and 'Allo 'Allo! She thinks it's only fair to let you know that this is an older picture of her, and she doesn't look anything like that anymore – she says she now looks "much better!" Moira likes walking up to total strangers and yelling "Blimey!", waterskiing with her eyes closed (because it's less scary that way), and – in honor of her name – getting daily pedicures.

Moira Foot

7)  Andy Foot:  Andy is a fifth-generation commercial mixed arable and beef farmer, farming about 650 acres in Dorset in southwest England. He is chairman of both the NFU regional livestock board and beef group, and is also the local chairman of the Dorset Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty Partnership. Andy likes talking to his cows, long walks in the pasture, and playing croquet in his knickers (he hopes you would be open to that sort of thing, too).

Andy Foot

8)  Miss Bigfoot:  Miss Bigfoot hails from the Klamath River area near Orleans, California, where she has lived since the early 1960s. She is quite tall, very hairy, and – well, she has extremely large feet. But Miss Bigfoot hopes that her unconventional beauty – and the whole not-actually-being-a-human thing – won't deter you from giving her a call. She doesn't get out much – but when she does, Miss Bigfoot likes posing for cameras which only take blurry pictures, howling to the night sky for no apparent reason, and leaving muddy footprints in random places to confuse bored rednecks. This picture of Miss Bigfoot was taken back in 1967, but she looks pretty much the same now as she did then. She might be a little taller now, come to think of it.

Miss Bigfoot

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