RESISTING RODERICA
Roderica has been trying to sell me her purse since fifth period, and it's starting to get on my nerves. What am I gonna do with a purse? I'm on the football team. I'm a linebacker, for Pete's sake!
I guess her family is kinda poor, because she's been trying to sell off practically everything she owns here lately. I heard somebody say that her brother is real sick and needs an operation, but they don't have insurance, so it's probably not gonna happen. He might even die, somebody told me.
I feel bad for Roderica and her brother and everything, but it's not like I can do anything about it. I mean, yeah, I work at the Food Lion, but I make minimum wage – practically nothing at all! – and what I do make I use to put gas in my truck. And gas is expensive, ya know?
Anyway, it's a purse we're talking about. Not a wallet, not a book bag, but a purse! Knowing Roderica, it's probably not even a good purse. I mean, it's not her fault or anything, but she'd probably get a few more takers if she was selling, like, a Coach bag or something. I don't really know anything about those, but someone told me they're really expensive, so there ya go.
Uh-oh, here she comes again! Really, Roderica? Do I like like prime purse-purchasing material? Please! Did I mention that I'm a linebacker?
Seriously, what does she want me to say to her, outside of what I've already said? Which is no, of course. I mean, if it was anything but a purse, I'd be all in. I don't mind helping people out who are in need, but a purse?
Hey, Roderica, what's up? Your purse? Yeah, you asked me about your purse earlier. I don't really need one. Thanks, though. What's that? No, I don't have a sister. Remember, you asked me that before, too. No, I don't have a girlfriend. I mean, I could have a girlfriend anytime I wanted, I just don't wanna be tied down, ya dig?
Well, yeah, I've got a mom. I don't know, probably three or four, but she only really uses the one. It's kinda old, but it's not worn out like your – I mean – aw, crap!
Tell you what, Roderica, what say I give you ten bucks for it? I was gonna buy some gas with this, but I probably won't need to till the weekend, and by then I'll have my paycheck, so you might as well have it instead.
The purse? Oh yeah, I guess I do have to take it from you, don't I? Do you have, like, a paper bag or something you could stuff it in, you know, just till I get to my car? No? Oh.
Well, whatever. It's not like anybody's gonna mess with me anyway. I'm a linebacker, ya know. Here, here's the ten.
Hey, listen...I hope your brother gets to have his operation. No, somebody told me about it. Yeah. Okay, well, if there's anything else I can do, just let me know. Take care, Roderica.
And just like that, I'm holding a purse. Oh, well...I never was very good at resisting.
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