Story # 22: "You Scratch My Back, And I'll Stab Yours"

Let me start off by saying that I grew to hate the main character in this one more and more as I got deeper into writing the story. But I couldn't just easily explain his attitude away in order to ensure a happy ending. Because there really are people out there like this guy. Thankfully, I'm not one of them.  ~  JH

"YOU SCRATCH MY BACK, AND I'LL STAB YOURS"

I've never understood the concept of reciprocity. Or, to be more precise, I've never particularly identified with it. Why, if you do something nice for me, must I in turn do something nice for you?

I mean, I can certainly understand why you'd want to do me a favor. Let's face it – I'm phenomenal! But you? You're average at best. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure I'm not.

If I were to return your act of kindness, however random or deserving it may be, it would likely be out of sheer pity and nothing more. But to be quite honest, I'd just as soon not reciprocate at all.

You see, I pride myself on my transparency. My life is an open book, without a trace of hypocrisy. So if you do unto me and I do right back unto you simply because it's socially expected of me, I'm being a hypocrite. And I don't like being hypocritical – as a matter of fact, I refuse to be.

So here's the deal: If you choose to do me a favor, whether I deserve it or not (although, let's be real – of course I deserve it!), I'm going to do one of two things in response. Either I'm going to thank you for your generosity and then go about my business, or I'm going to turn right around and do something nice for you in kind.

The latter is, admittedly, less likely, but it's not altogether out of the question, depending on how returning a gesture may affect me positively in the future. In other words, what's in it for me?

If I deem you worthy of my reciprocity, then so be it. Consider yourself blessed. If not, don't complain. That's just the way it goes. You scratch my back, I'll stab you in yours.

Hey, I gotta be me. Transparent, genuine, and not the least bit hypocritical. What can I say? It's just one more thing that proves how phenomenal I truly am!