Why Do We Hang Wreaths, Garlands, And Stockings? And What's Up With All These Christmas Trees?

1)  Why do we decorate our homes with wreaths, garlands, and Christmas trees?

A:  Hanging evergreen boughs in and around the home has been a tradition for many centuries. Ancient people believed that evergreens were able to ward off witches, ghosts, evil spirits, and even illness. Ancient Egyptians filled their homes with green palm rushes which symbolized for them the triumph of life over death. The Romans hung evergreens as part of their winter solstice feast (called Saturnalia) as a reminder that farms and orchards would soon be green and fruitful again. Druid priests decorated their temples with evergreen boughs as a symbol of everlasting life.

Sixteenth century German Christians are credited with starting the tradition of bringing decorated trees into their homes. Protestant reformer Martin Luther is widely believed to have been the first to add lighted candles to a tree. When German settlers arrived in Pennsylvania in the mid-1700s, the Christmas tree made its debut on the North American continent. However, over the next hundred years thereafter, the Christmas tree was frowned upon by many Americans as a pagan symbol that mocked the sacredness of the Christmas holiday. By the late 1800s, Christmas trees had started to become a popular tradition among Americans and Europeans alike. And the rest is history...

Source:  http://www.history.com/topics/history-of-christmas-trees


2)  Why do we hang our stockings by the chimney with care?

A: There are two theories behind the origin of the Christmas stocking. One theory says that the Christmas stocking was introduced in America by the Dutch. It's said that in the 16th century, children in Holland kept their straw-filled clogs by the hearth for the reindeer. At the same time, they would place a treat for Sinterclass (a.k.a. Santa Claus) near the fireplace in the house. In return, Sinterclass would leave some gifts for the children. Over time, the clogs were replaced by stockings -- which makes sense, if you think about it, because stockings can generally stretch to hold much more than wooden shoes can.

The other theory is harder to summarize succinctly, so I'll just quote it directly from another source:

"A nobleman and his wife had three daughters and they were living quite happily. One day, the wife contracted some fatal illness, which led to her untimely demise. Devastated by his wife's death, the nobleman squandered all his wealth and property. Since he was left with no money, he had to move into a peasant's cottage, along with his daughters. Soon, the time came for the daughters to get married. However, the father had lost all his wealth and could not afford to give any dowry.

As time passed, the father started getting more and more worried about getting his daughters married. One day, St. Nicholas of Myra happened to pass through the nobleman's village and heard the villagers discussing what the father was going through. St Nicholas knew that the father would be too proud to accept money from him. He decided to wait till dark and then, went to the nobleman's house, and threw three bags of gold coins from the chimney.

The same evening, the daughters of the nobleman had washed their clothes and had hung their stockings by the fireplace. The bag of gold coins dropped into the stockings, one bag for each daughter. When the family members woke up in the morning, they found the money in their stockings. The father utilized the money for marrying away his daughters, each with a generous dowry. Soon, the villagers came to know of St. Nicholas' generosity and started hanging their stockings by the fireplace."

And there you have it...

Source:  http://www.worldofchristmas.net/christmas-stockings/history.html

Things I Find Fascinating: Christmas Commercials From The '70s and '80s

Not much preamble is necessary here. Just a collection of Christmas-themed TV commercials from the 1970s and 1980s. If you're old enough, you might even remember a few of these (I am, and I do!). If you're not, you might still get something out of them. Enjoy!



1)  Weber Grills  (This one's kinda creepy!)

2)  Underoos  (Kids in their underwear? This ad would never pass muster in this day and age.)

3)  Burger King  (Sharp eyes might recognize Lea Thompson and Elisabeth Shue from the BACK TO THE FUTURE movies here as well as a very young Sarah Michelle Gellar from the BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER TV series)

4)  AVON  (The British version, apparently)

5)  Electronic Football  (Weirdsville...)

6)  L.A. Gear  (It isn't hard to spot a young Jennifer Love Hewitt here [from PARTY OF FIVE and THE GHOST WHISPERER fame]...it seems her acting skills have improved a lot since then)

7)  Christmas Crunch Cereal  (I didn't even know they made this! I was 11 years old when this came out -- I would've eaten the heck out of that!)

8)  Toys 'R' Us  (Do they still feature Geoffrey the Giraffe in Toys 'R' Us commercials? 'Cuz I always loved that character!)

9)  Target  (I never got a Nintendo when I was a kid. But I'm not bitter...)

10)  Sears  (Cool stereo...with cassette player, no less!)

11)  Pepsi  (The Super Mario version, apparently)

12)  Folger's Coffee  (This one's a bona-fide classic...they played it for years at Christmastime)

13)  Polaroid  (These kids are smart, but Santa's smarter!)

14)  McDonald's  (Nothing says Christmas like ice skating with a clown!)

15)  Nabisco Oreos  (This is a classic, too, that I remember very well)

A Soundtrack For The End Of The World

Well, today's the day. The day – according to the ancient Mayan civilization and Internet conspiracy theorists – that the world is going to end. Now, I don't believe for one second that that's actually going to happen (not today at least). But just for the sake of argument, and so won't I be accused of ignoring it altogether, here's a collection of 21 songs about the end of the world. Enjoy?  ~  JH

1)  R.E.M.  ~  "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

2)  Skeeter Davis  ~  "The End Of The World"

3)  Lupe Fiasco  ~  "The End Of The World"

4)  Ingrid Michaelson  ~  "End Of The World"

5)  U2  ~  "Until The End Of The World"

6)  Blondie  ~  "The End Of The World"

7)  Matt Nathanson  ~  "Room At The End Of The World"

8)  Lenka  ~  "The End Of The World"

9)  P.O.D.  ~  "End Of The World"

10)  Smile Empty Soul  ~  "End Of The World"

11)  Elvis Costello  ~  "Waiting For The End Of The World"

12)  Blackfield  ~  "End Of The World"

13)  Matt Alber  ~  "End Of The World"

14)  Blessid Union Of Souls  ~  "End Of The World"

15)  Gin Blossoms  ~  "The End Of The World"

16)  Kerli  ~  "End Of The World"

17)  The Beatles  ~  "The End"

18)  Bashful Brother Oswald  ~  "End Of The World"

19)  Chris Cornell  ~  "Preaching The End Of The World"

20)  Europe  ~  "The Final Countdown"

Things I Find Fascinating: Bizarrely Titled Books

Back in March, I posted a list of books that I could get for free as e-books, but that I would probably never choose to read because of their utter weirdness. Today's list is somewhat similar, but the focus of this set of books is primarily their titles. Some or all of them may be perfectly good books, but I will likely never know, because I doubt if I'd read any of them. I am, however, fascinated by their weirdness. I hope you will be too. Included with each is an Amazon.com synopsis (whenever available), so you can get the gist of what the book is actually about. Enjoy...

1)  Bombproof Your Horse: Teach Your Horse To Be Confident, Obedient, And Safe No Matter What You Encounter  ~  Sgt. Rick Pelicano

SYNOPSIS:  "A clearly illustrated manual that shows equestrians how to prepare their mounts for the unexpected, turning them into safer, more pleasurable mounts."

2)  Queen Victoria And Ping-Pong: Diaries Of A Girl A Century Ago  ~  Editor: Gwendolen Freeman.

SYNOPSIS:  Not available.  (But does it really matter anyway?)

3)  What Bird Did That?: A Driver's Guide To Some Common Birds Of North America  ~  Peter Hansard & Burton Silver

SYNOPSIS:  "The first scholarly treatment of ornithological dejecta, commonly known as bird droppings."

4)  Fancy Coffins To Make Yourself  ~  Dale Power

SYNOPSIS:  "Here's the help you need for one of life's most critical undertakings – making your own coffin. Author and craftsman Dale Power revisits one of his most popular woodworking projects with additional embellishment, adding finery and fancy to what could easily become your final resting place. Easily, that is, since more than 230 color photos and detailed instructions have been provided to help guide you step by step toward your own casket...."

5)  Cheese Problems Solved  ~  Editor: P. L. H. McSweeney

SYNOPSIS:  "Arranged in practical question-and-answer format, Cheese Problems Solved provides responses to more than 200 of the most commonly asked questions about cheese and the cheese-making process, from problems arising during the preparation of cheesemilk and cheese ripening to queries regarding cheese analysis and the nutritional profile of cheese...."

6)  Build Your Own Hindenburg  ~  Alan Rose

SYNOPSIS:  Not available.  (But it seems pretty self-explanatory.)

7)  Six-Legged Sex: The Erotic Lives Of Bugs  ~  James K. Wangberg

SYNOPSIS:  "'Why should scientists have all the fun?' wonders entomologist James K. Wangberg, as he muses over the weird and interesting sexual behaviors of insects. In Six-Legged Sex: The Erotic Lives Of Bugs, readers will find a rollicking, readable (and scientifically accurate) series of portraits of bugs in their most intimate moments...."

8)  Did Lewis Carroll Visit Llandudno?  ~  Michael Senior

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But who cares?)

9)  How To Avoid Huge Ships  ~  Captain John W. Trimmer

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But isn't it obvious?)

10)  The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories  ~  Alisa Surkis & Monica Nolan

SYNOPSIS:  "These are the tales of the unbridled desires of passion-starved women without men, vulnerable to the temptations of Sappho and crossing over into a world of high withers, rippling hindquarters, and glossy coats...."

11)  227 Secrets Your Snake (And Lizard) Wants You To Know  ~  Paulette Cooper

SYNOPSIS:  "Paulette Cooper's ssssssscintillating 227 Secrets Your Snake Wants You To Know is the follow-up to her immensely popular dog- and cat-focused titles. Prospective snake owners will find this guide an invaluable introduction, and veteran snake lovers will uncoil with laughter when they read the author's hilarious anecdotes about their favorite fork-tongued friends...."

12)  A Taxonomy Of Office Chairs  ~  Jonathan Olivares

SYNOPSIS:  "Details over 180 of the most innovative office chairs designed and built from the 1840s to the present, with a color photograph, details of the designer and manufacturer, and a short text accompanying each chair...."

13)  Afterthoughts Of A Worm Hunter  ~  D. W. T. Crompton

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But you pretty much get the idea.)

14)  Collectible Spoons Of The 3rd Reich  ~  James A. Yannes

SYNOPSIS:  "Collectible Spoons Of The 3rd Reich is a detailed, heavily illustrated reference book containing relevant historical exposition on many of the personal, organizational, and commemorative spoons of the 3rd Reich period from 1933 to 1945....With over 200 photos/graphics and over 19,000 words of text, the book extensively explores the relevant historical highlights which in turn illuminate this unique period in history as reflected by the spoons...."

15)  Cooking With Poo  ~  Saiyuud Diwong

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But everybody knows that Diwong's nickname is "Poo," which is derived from a Thai word meaning "crab." Right?)

16)  Proceedings Of The Eighteenth International Seaweed Symposium  ~  Editors: Robert J. Anderson, Juliet A. Brodie, Edvar Onsøyen, & Alan T. Critchley

SYNOPSIS:  "This book contains the proceedings of the 18th International Seaweed Symposium, which provides an invaluable reference to a wide range of fields in applied phycology. The papers featured in this volume cover topics as diverse as systematics, ecology, commercial applications, carbohydrate chemistry and applications, harvesting biology, cultivation and more. It offers a benchmark of progress in all fields of applied seaweed science and management."

17)  How To Write A How To Write Book  ~  Brian Piddock

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But you can easily guess what it's all about from the title.)

18)  I Was Tortured By The Pygmy Love Queen  ~  Jasper McCutcheon

SYNOPSIS:  "What evils await Captain Henry Mitchell on the island below? A U.S. Navy fighter pilot, he's forced to abandon his Grumman after battling Japanese Zeros over the Pacific, but soon Japan is the least of his worries. Parachuting into rainforest canopy, Mitchell is greeted by a lost tribe of pygmies and their insanely cruel leader, a female."

19)  Managing A Dental Practice The Genghis Khan Way  ~  Michael Young

SYNOPSIS:  "The parallel aims of a dental practice are to deliver excellent patient care through highly trained and motivated employees and to maximize income and profit. Achieving these aims as a practice manager demands a clear vision, sound preparation, planning, and marshaling of resources, broad business knowledge, an understanding of a rapidly changing world, and above all wise judgment. So why Genghis Khan?...Genghis Khan is one of history's most charismatic and dynamic leaders – and you will need all his skill, strength, and tenacity to succeed in both dentistry and business..."

20)  Knitting With Dog Hair: Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know And Love Than From A Sheep You'll Never Meet  ~  Kendall Crolius & Anne Montgomery

SYNOPSIS:  "Learn to recycle Rover into beautiful garments and accessories as the authors teach you this wacky new spin on an old craft. Knitting With Dog Hair is the definitive guide to putting on the dog! In this tip-filled, easy-to-use book, the authors tell: 

   – How to make an Afghan or a beret from your Beagle

   – How to collect, clean, and store your pooch's fur

   – How to modify your patterns to accommodate pet-spun yarn

   – How to find experienced pet hair spinners, a guide to resources and suppliers

From mittens from a Malamute to caps from a Collie, this illustrated guide is the creative answer to that vexing shedding problem. This fetching book is certain to be this year's best in show!"

21)  Living With Crazy Buttocks  ~  Kaz Cooke

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But who cares? That's hilarious!)

22)  The Stray Shopping Carts Of Eastern North America: A Guide To Field Identification  ~  Julian Montague

SYNOPSIS:  "A must-have for anyone with a passion for shopping carts and a love of the great outdoors. In The Stray Shopping Carts Of Eastern North America, author Julian Montague has created an elaborate classification system of abandoned shopping carts, accompanied by photographic documentation of actual stray cart sightings....Working in the naturalist's tradition, the photographs depict the diversity of the phenomenon and carry a surprising emotional charge; readers inevitably begin to see these carts as human, at times poignant in their abandoned, decrepit state, hilariously incapacitated, or ingeniously co-opted...."

23)  New Guinea Tapeworms & Jewish Grandmothers: Tales Of Parasites And People  ~  Robert S. Desowitz

SYNOPSIS:  "The medical tapestry of the world is full of organisms too small to see, carried by flying and creeping creatures too numerous to eradicate. A while ago, DDT and the antimalarial drug chloroquine seemed sure to make us all safe from such invisible assault. It was not to be. The mosquito has become resistant to DDT; malaria is on the rise; although tapeworms rarely turn up any longer in the most lovingly prepared New York City gefilte fish, a worm may inhabit your sashimi; some strains of gonorrhea actually thrive on penicillin; there is even a parasite for the higher tax brackets – the "nymph of Nantucket"; and there are new ailments – legionnaire's disease, Lassa fever, and new strains of influenza...."

24)  Tattooed Mountain Women And Spoon Boxes Of Daghestan: Magic Medicine Symbols In Silk, Stone, Wood, And Flesh  ~  Robert Chenciner, Gabib Ismailov, & Magomedkhan Magomedkhanov

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But the subtitle kinda says it all, I think.)

25)  What Kind Of Bean Is This Chihuahua?  ~  Tara Jensen-Mayer (author); Swapan Debnath (illustrator)

SYNOPSIS:  "Take a walk through the daily life of Bean, an adorable Chihuahua from Chi-Chi Land! This cheerful story is filled with Bean phrases and Bean rhymes. So hit the Bean scene, where kids learn it's OK to be different....Colorful illustrations accompany this delightful story that will have children, parents, and grandparents in fits of giggles!

26)  The Best Dad Is A Good Lover  ~  Dr. Charlie Shedd

SYNOPSIS:  Not available. (But I think Dr. Shedd has some explaining to do. This sounds a tad creepy!)

27)  Still Stripping After 25 Years  ~  Eleanor Burns

 

SYNOPSIS:  "Eleanor Burns and Quilt In A Day invite you to celebrate our Silver Anniversary with Still Stripping After 25 Years! Eleanor reminisces as she journeys from 1978, with the publication of her first book, through her 25 years of strip quilting. Stroll down memory lane with photos and stories of good times, good friends, and beautiful quilts...."

Things I Find Fascinating: Funny Church Signs

And....it's time for another pictures post. I posted a few of these a few months ago, but didn't include any of these particular signs at the time. There's tons more of these that I could have chosen, but several of them are in particularly bad taste (at least, the connotations are) and I didn't feel that they'd be appropriate to post here. That being said, enjoy!

What is this, Snoop Dogg's home church or something?

You know, it's not nice to talk bad about your pastor...

Alrighty then...

Can't argue with the logic. But they could've said it a bit nicer.

Is this really an appropriate topic for a church service?

They probably could have just stopped 

at "Beware Of The Naked Person"...

The entirety of what?

But in the courtroom, we'll deny that it ever happened...

Dyslexic sign changer?

Your honesty is refreshing!

Clever!

Is this a "how-to" or a "how-not-to" class? 'Cuz...wow.

 

Welcome to our church...or not...whatever.

OK, except that you still misspelled it. It's H-A-N-U-K-K-A-H.

I think there's a misspelling here too. The church's name

should have read: "Ambien Presbyterian Church."

Umm....???

The fact that the preacher even felt the need

to preach this sermon is extremely disturbing!

You know, I've never thought about that, but now that

you've brought it up, I won't sleep till I figure it out!

If you say so...

Not very comforting...

Congratulations, you're an idiot!

This would go over well here in Pirate Nation...

When they sing "Lord, I Lift Your 

Name On High," they mean it!

We can't seem to recall their names. We just 

know they're not white like the rest of us.

Clever, but a tad pushy.

Dang, that's harsh!

Apparently, I was mistaken earlier.

This is Snoop Dogg's home church!