1) (MEN) You should really consider growing some facial hair. That "baby face" look only works for so long. Time to man up!
2) (WOMEN) You should really consider waxing some of that facial hair. The 'stache has long been out of fashion for men, and has never been a stylish look for ladies. Handle that!
3) Did you always talk in that annoyingly flamboyant, ambiguously accented effeminate voice, or did you "put it on" when you came out of the closet?
4) You smell horrible! Have you bathed this month?
5) Were you dropped on your face as a child? 'Cuz...wow!
6) I am completely disinterested in everything you're saying right now.
7) Are you really that stupid, or are you just trying to get attention?
8) Tell the truth: You have no clue what you're doing, do you?
9) You're not fooling anyone. We all know that's a toupee! And not a very good one, at that.
10) Yes, you definitely look your age. And then some!