Monday, August 6, 2012

18 Weird Quotes About Fruit

1)  "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit, and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?"  ~  Albert Einstein

2)  "My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark."  ~  Casey Affleck

3)  "I'll squeeze the cider out of your Adam's apple."  ~  Moe Howard

4)  "Come over here and sit on my knee and finish your orange juice."  ~  Sonny Liston

5)  "Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead."  ~  Erma Bombeck

6)  "My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'"  ~  Demetri Martin

7)  "Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away."  ~  Ricky Gervais

8)  "I am a grateful grapefruit."  ~  Bjork

9)  "If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself."  ~  Mao Zedong

10)  "One does a whole painting for one peach and people think just the opposite – that particular peach is but a detail."  ~  Pablo Picasso

11)  "What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?"  ~  Logan P. Smith

12)  "My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so...yeah.'"  ~  Mitch Hedberg

13)  "I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant."  ~  Ursula K. LeGuin

14)  "What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve: The sure, sweet, cement, glue, and lime of love."  ~  Robert Herrick

15)  "Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice."  ~  Barbra Streisand

16)  "I thought it was ridiculous to have two undercover policemen driving around in a striped tomato."  ~  Paul M. Glaser

17)  "One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste."  ~  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

18)  "If there are occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart."  ~  Jesse Jackson


  1. "I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant." ~ Ursula K. LeGuin. This weird quote is my favorite.

    1. Haha! That one's great! Thanks for the addition!