1) "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit, and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?" ~ Albert Einstein
2) "My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark." ~ Casey Affleck
3) "I'll squeeze the cider out of your Adam's apple." ~ Moe Howard
4) "Come over here and sit on my knee and finish your orange juice." ~ Sonny Liston
5) "Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead." ~ Erma Bombeck
6) "My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'" ~ Demetri Martin
7) "Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away." ~ Ricky Gervais
8) "I am a grateful grapefruit." ~ Bjork
9) "If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself." ~ Mao Zedong
10) "One does a whole painting for one peach and people think just the opposite – that particular peach is but a detail." ~ Pablo Picasso
11) "What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?" ~ Logan P. Smith
12) "My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so...yeah.'" ~ Mitch Hedberg
13) "I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant." ~ Ursula K. LeGuin
14) "What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve: The sure, sweet, cement, glue, and lime of love." ~ Robert Herrick
15) "Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice." ~ Barbra Streisand
16) "I thought it was ridiculous to have two undercover policemen driving around in a striped tomato." ~ Paul M. Glaser
17) "One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
18) "If there are occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart." ~ Jesse Jackson
"I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant." ~ Ursula K. LeGuin. This weird quote is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteHaha! That one's great! Thanks for the addition!
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