1) MICHAEL ARMS, rowing, New Zealand
|Michael Arms, the living embodiment of a self-fulfilling prophecy|
2) FANNY BABOU, swimming, France
|Fanny doesn't like to get left behind in the pool.|
3) QUENTIN BIGOT, hammer throw, France
|Quentin wants you to know it's actually pronounced "Big-Oh."|
4) USAIN BOLT, track, Jamaica
|He runs like lightning, mon!|
5) LARS BOOM, cycling, Netherlands
|It's a shame cannon shooting isn't an Olympic sport. If |
it were, this guy's name would be SO much more ironic!
6) REHAN BUTT, hockey, Pakistan
|Rehan's the one on the left, with his...well, with his butt to the camera.|
7) ROSA CHACHA, track, Ecuador
|Of course, this is just the name she goes by publicly.|
Her full name is Rosa Alba Chacha Chacha. No lie.
8) KISSYA DA COSTA, rowing, Brazil
|Her love don't cost a thing. But her kisses are expensive.|
9) DONG DONG, trampoline, China
|Dong Dong's name is also the sound you would make if you|
could jump on a trampoline inside Big Ben. He did inquire
about doing that, but the Queen wasn't too keen on the idea.
10) YU DU, shooting, China
|I don't know how Yu Du the voodoo that Yu Du so well...|
11) KATHRYN FUDGE, handball, Great Britain
|Not being prone to harsh profanity, Kathryn screams her own |
surname when something goes wrong in a handball game.
12) SJOERD HAMBURGER, rowing, Netherlands
|He doesn't understand why you think his name |
is so funny. Sjoerd just means "victory guardian."
13) DESTINEE HOOKER, volleyball, United States
|Go ahead and make fun of her name. Destinee will "kill" |
you, then "dig" a hole for your body. Game. Set. Match.
14) MARY KILLMAN, synchronized swimming, United States
|Mary used to synchronize-swim with a male partner. Then one day, |
he just suddenly disappeared. Nobody has seen that guy since.
15) YOO SUK KIM, pole vault, South Korea
|Now that he understands a bit of English, he gets|
depressed every time the crowd chants his name.
16) JASON LAVIGILANTE, boxing, Mauritius
|He takes the law into his own bright-blue-puffy-glove-covered hands.|
17) TIM LIPS, equestrian, Netherlands
|Never mind his name – let's just make fun of how he's dressed!|
18) SPARKLE MCKNIGHT, track, Trinidad and Tobago
|Sparkle is the sole representative of her family in this year's Olympics. |
Her sister Twinkle and her brother Glimmer did not qualify. (jk)
19) POPS MENSAH-BONSU, basketball, Great Britain
|Nobody talks to Pops like that and gets away with it! Show some respect!|
20) CAROLE PEON, rhythmic gymnastics, France
|She may be lowly and insignificant, but she's French, and |
that automatically makes her superior to you. (So she says.)
21) JOEL REDHEAD, track, Grenada
|More like Joel Floatinghead. Where the heck is his body?|
22) GAVIN SMELLIE, track, Canada
|Gavin doesn't know what you're laughing at – all he smells is VICTORY!|
23) ANDREA ST. BERNARD, taekwondo, Grenada
|Go ahead – call her a dog. If you feel lucky. If you like pain.|
24) YOSHIE TAKESHITA, volleyball, Japan
|Get your mind out of the gutter. It's pronounced "TAH-kay-SHEE-tah."|
25) WITTHAYA THAMWONG, archery, Thailand
|Make one more joke about his name, |
and he'll shoot your eye out, kid!