1) MICHAEL ARMS, rowing, New Zealand
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| Michael Arms, the living embodiment of a self-fulfilling prophecy |
2) FANNY BABOU, swimming, France
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| Fanny doesn't like to get left behind in the pool. |
3) QUENTIN BIGOT, hammer throw, France
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| Quentin wants you to know it's actually pronounced "Big-Oh." |
4) USAIN BOLT, track, Jamaica
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| He runs like lightning, mon! |
5) LARS BOOM, cycling, Netherlands
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| It's a shame cannon shooting isn't an Olympic sport. If it were, this guy's name would be SO much more ironic! |
6) REHAN BUTT, hockey, Pakistan
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| Rehan's the one on the left, with his...well, with his butt to the camera. |
7) ROSA CHACHA, track, Ecuador
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| Of course, this is just the name she goes by publicly. Her full name is Rosa Alba Chacha Chacha. No lie. |
8) KISSYA DA COSTA, rowing, Brazil
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| Her love don't cost a thing. But her kisses are expensive. |
9) DONG DONG, trampoline, China
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| Dong Dong's name is also the sound you would make if you could jump on a trampoline inside Big Ben. He did inquire about doing that, but the Queen wasn't too keen on the idea. |
10) YU DU, shooting, China
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| I don't know how Yu Du the voodoo that Yu Du so well... |
11) KATHRYN FUDGE, handball, Great Britain
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| Not being prone to harsh profanity, Kathryn screams her own surname when something goes wrong in a handball game. |
12) SJOERD HAMBURGER, rowing, Netherlands
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| He doesn't understand why you think his name is so funny. Sjoerd just means "victory guardian." |
13) DESTINEE HOOKER, volleyball, United States
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| Go ahead and make fun of her name. Destinee will "kill" you, then "dig" a hole for your body. Game. Set. Match. |
14) MARY KILLMAN, synchronized swimming, United States
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| Mary used to synchronize-swim with a male partner. Then one day, he just suddenly disappeared. Nobody has seen that guy since. |
15) YOO SUK KIM, pole vault, South Korea
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| Now that he understands a bit of English, he gets depressed every time the crowd chants his name. |
16) JASON LAVIGILANTE, boxing, Mauritius
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| He takes the law into his own bright-blue-puffy-glove-covered hands. |
17) TIM LIPS, equestrian, Netherlands
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| Never mind his name – let's just make fun of how he's dressed! |
18) SPARKLE MCKNIGHT, track, Trinidad and Tobago
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| Sparkle is the sole representative of her family in this year's Olympics. Her sister Twinkle and her brother Glimmer did not qualify. (jk) |
19) POPS MENSAH-BONSU, basketball, Great Britain
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| Nobody talks to Pops like that and gets away with it! Show some respect! |
20) CAROLE PEON, rhythmic gymnastics, France
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| She may be lowly and insignificant, but she's French, and that automatically makes her superior to you. (So she says.) |
21) JOEL REDHEAD, track, Grenada
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| More like Joel Floatinghead. Where the heck is his body? |
22) GAVIN SMELLIE, track, Canada
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| Gavin doesn't know what you're laughing at – all he smells is VICTORY! |
23) ANDREA ST. BERNARD, taekwondo, Grenada
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| Go ahead – call her a dog. If you feel lucky. If you like pain. |
24) YOSHIE TAKESHITA, volleyball, Japan
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| Get your mind out of the gutter. It's pronounced "TAH-kay-SHEE-tah." |
25) WITTHAYA THAMWONG, archery, Thailand
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| Make one more joke about his name, and he'll shoot your eye out, kid! |
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