Thursday, August 2, 2012

Things I Find Fascinating: 25 Unfortunately Named Olympic Athletes

Not too much reading required for today's post. Just revel in the weirdness! Kudos to for compiling a comprehensive list of funny Olympic athlete names. I picked and chose my favorites from their list and added pictures and snarky commments. Enjoy!

1)  MICHAEL ARMS, rowing, New Zealand

Michael Arms, the living embodiment of a self-fulfilling prophecy

2)  FANNY BABOU, swimming, France

Fanny doesn't like to get left behind in the pool.

3)  QUENTIN BIGOT, hammer throw, France

Quentin wants you to know it's actually pronounced "Big-Oh."

4)  USAIN BOLT, track, Jamaica

He runs like lightning, mon!

5)  LARS BOOM, cycling, Netherlands

It's a shame cannon shooting isn't an Olympic sport. If
it were, this guy's name would be SO much more ironic!

6)  REHAN BUTT, hockey, Pakistan

Rehan's the one on the left, with his...well, with his butt to the camera.

7)  ROSA CHACHA, track, Ecuador

Of course, this is just the name she goes by publicly.
Her full name is Rosa Alba Chacha Chacha. No lie.

8)  KISSYA DA COSTA, rowing, Brazil

Her love don't cost a thing. But her kisses are expensive.

9)  DONG DONG, trampoline, China

Dong Dong's name is also the sound you would make if you
could jump on a trampoline inside Big Ben. He did inquire
about doing that, but the Queen wasn't too keen on the idea.

10)  YU DU, shooting, China

I don't know how Yu Du the voodoo that Yu Du so well...

11)  KATHRYN FUDGE, handball, Great Britain

Not being prone to harsh profanity, Kathryn screams her own
surname when something goes wrong in a handball game.

12)  SJOERD HAMBURGER, rowing, Netherlands

He doesn't understand why you think his name
is so funny. Sjoerd just means "victory guardian." 

13)  DESTINEE HOOKER, volleyball, United States

Go ahead and make fun of her name. Destinee will "kill"
you, then "dig" a hole for your body. Game. Set. Match.

14)  MARY KILLMAN, synchronized swimming, United States

Mary used to synchronize-swim with a male partner. Then one day,
he just suddenly disappeared. Nobody has seen that guy since.

15)  YOO SUK KIM, pole vault, South Korea

Now that he understands a bit of English, he gets
depressed every time the crowd chants his name. 

16)  JASON LAVIGILANTE, boxing, Mauritius

He takes the law into his own bright-blue-puffy-glove-covered hands.

17)  TIM LIPS, equestrian, Netherlands

Never mind his name – let's just make fun of how he's dressed!

18)  SPARKLE MCKNIGHT, track, Trinidad and Tobago

Sparkle is the sole representative of her family in this year's Olympics.
Her sister Twinkle and her brother Glimmer did not qualify.  (jk)

19)  POPS MENSAH-BONSU, basketball, Great Britain

Nobody talks to Pops like that and gets away with it! Show some respect!

20)  CAROLE PEON, rhythmic gymnastics, France

She may be lowly and insignificant, but she's French, and
that automatically makes her superior to you. (So she says.)

21)  JOEL REDHEAD, track, Grenada

More like Joel Floatinghead. Where the heck is his body?

22)  GAVIN SMELLIE, track, Canada

Gavin doesn't know what you're laughing at – all he smells is VICTORY!

23)  ANDREA ST. BERNARD, taekwondo, Grenada

Go ahead – call her a dog. If you feel lucky. If you like pain.

24)  YOSHIE TAKESHITA, volleyball, Japan

Get your mind out of the gutter. It's pronounced "TAH-kay-SHEE-tah."

25)  WITTHAYA THAMWONG, archery, Thailand

Make one more joke about his name,
and he'll shoot your eye out, kid!

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