Sunday, August 26, 2012

"Wishes Of Fishes Swishing In Dishes," "Up Your Alley," And "In The Garden Of Eden, Baby": Three New Drabbles

I told you the other day that I had three more drabbles ready to post. These are those. Hope you enjoy!


"I wish they'd put us back in the fish bowl."

"Patience, kid, ya know they're cleaning it."

"I don't care! This dish is disgusting. Anyway, our bowl wasn't even dirty."

"Yeah, right! Like you don't poop in it every day."

"Sure I do, but my poop doesn't stink."

"Really? I swim in the same bowl as you, and you're gonna tell that lie?"

"Well, it wasn't that dirty!"

"Whatever, kid. Just shut your piehole and keep swimming!"

"Might as well. Got nothing better to do in here."

"Ya wanna fin-wrestle?"

"Nah, you'll cheat."

"Ya know me well..."

"Unfortunately, I do."


I was at the record store the other day – Can you believe they still have record stores? I mean, mostly they're downtown in college towns, 'cuz nobody besides college kids and indie rockers even listens to records anymore – but anyway, I was at the record store, trying not to get a headache from all the incense they were burning – probably trying to cover up the scent of pot, 'cuz I'm pretty sure the guy at the counter was high as a kite! – but anyway, I saw this record and knew you'd just love it. Looky here – Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits!


You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? He told us that tree was off limits, but did you listen? No! You had to go and eat it anyway! How could you be so stupid? What part of "no" didn't you understand? You know what this means, right? It means that you're gonna die! Then what am I going to do? I'm gonna have to learn to cook and clean and everything! How about giving me the recipe for that pie you made before you kick the bucket – what kinda fruit did you put in it? It was WHAT?

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