Things I Find Fascinating: Strangely Translated T-Shirt Messages

This post doesn't require much of an introduction. Most if not all of these t-shirt designs were found and photographed in their countries of origin (mostly Japan and China). Apparently, overseas t-shirt companies don't employ translators who are very fluent in English. Which is fortunate for us – 'cuz these are hilarious!

Dancing the polka is certainly on my list of a great first date.

Better yet, let's value three tooths...er, teeth. Phooey on that one bad tooth!

I would wear this one – although I'm sure no one would enjoy seeing it.

I'm sorry, what???

It spreads out in the mouth? Ugh! I don't think so.

I'm guessing that the pungent and her boyfriend are one and the same.

Okay, I'll just drop it on you then. Thank you for your kind offer.

Flattering with flatulence and pooting with pizzazz...

This isn't even a bad translation – that baby is clearly inside a hamburger!

You only stare down the ones you love, apparently.

Aren't we all "captivity man" sometimes? I mean, really...

You might want to consult an English dictionary before purchasing your next shirt.

First let's coffee, next let's marriage, then let's baby in a baby carriage...

The moral of this story: Short, ugly men are undesirable. (I speak from experience.)

As weirdly worded as it is, you can't disagree with the sentiments here.

Maybe he is, but does she really want to wear a shirt to advertise it?

Good advice, of course, but there's no good reason to wear this shirt.

The marvelous moppy – sweet, article-sized, enthusiastic, and oh-so-gluttonous!

Don't miss your chance to glimpse the back hair of a deity!

I feel happiness when I eat my friend, the hamburger, too! But those are French fries....

Yes, let's!

I'm sure he did. He wore that clown like a boss!

I cannot disagree with this statement either. I would wear this shirt!

Wait, is that a gluttonous moppy dressed as a bulldog
riding a bulldog? I think my brain just exploded!

I don't even want to know...

South Dakota...a spouting whale...oh no, I definitely cannot connect it!

In case you can't see it clearly, this one reads: "I wonder why
coffee tastes so good when you're naked with your family."
Answer: I don't know, and I don't ever want to find out!

Yes, it is, little kitty. Yes, it is!

Interesting Things That Happened On This Day In History

1384 -- Jadwiga is crowned King of Poland, even though she is a woman. Apparently, she tells them she is not actually a man, but they don't believe her until fifteen years later when the royal doctor does her autopsy.

King Jadwiga of Poland, not very feminine-looking

1758 -- Noah Webster is born. Some years later, he will go on to invent hundreds of thousands of words all by himself. (Very few words were actually spoken before Webster was born.) He will even make a book out of them, and call it a "dictionary." You might have heard of it?

Noah was especially fond of "dapper" and "spiffy," words he used to describe himself.

1793 -- Marie Antoinette, widow of Louis XVI, is guillotined (decapitated, for the uninitiated) at the height of the French Revolution. The executioner asks if he gets two points or three for landing her head in the basket.

She let them eat cake, but she didn't lose her head over it.

1843 -- Sir William Rowan Hamilton comes up with the idea of quaternions, a non-commutative extension of complex numbers. His friends have no idea what he is talking about, and shun him for being "too nerdy."

Haters gonna hate...

1846 -- William TG Morton first demonstrates ether anesthesia at the Massachusetts General Hospital. People have been waking up after surgery and not remembering a thing ever since.

Morton also patented the phrase "Now count backwards from 10..."

1875 -- Brigham Young University is founded in Provo, Utah. Four years later, the school's  first graduating class celebrates their matriculation by hopping on their bicycles in groups of two and spreading the news across the nation that mankind is "the offspring of parents who were first brought here from another planet, and power was given to them to propagate their species."

We come in peace. On Schwinns.

1923 -- The Walt Disney Company is founded by Walt Disney and his brother, Roy Disney. If only the coin had landed on "tails," Roy's name would have appeared on all those theme parks and movies.

Roy: "I coulda been a contendah."  Walt: "Will you stop being such a crybaby?"

1978 -- Pope John Paul II is elected after the papal conclave. The world thought that the pope had been selected three days earlier when they saw smoke rising. But as it turned out, the cardinals had just been a tad chilly and had lighted a fire to keep warm.

This little girl has been in therapy for years after this papal smoochy.

1997 -- Novelist James Michener dies after living for 90 years and writing approximately 673,248,490,129,385,234,684,934,477 pages in more than forty overly descriptive, sweeping sagas which have sold at least as many copies in both hardcover and paperback. It's said that Michener kicks the bucket approximately five minutes after declaring, "I can't think of anything else to say."

James Michener: Could've given Webster a run for his money.

Things I Find Fascinating: Swedish Pop Songs

If there's one thing the Swedes know how to do very well, it's to make catchy, vibrant, and consistently interesting pop songs. Many Swedish singers and bands have made it big in the United States, singing in English no less. Here are just a few examples of enjoyable pop songs from some fairly well-known (and/or up-and-coming) Swedish acts...


1)  First Aid Kit  ~  "Emmylou"

2)  Suburban Kids With Biblical Names  ~  "Rent A Wreck"

3)  Sophie Zelmani  ~  "To Be Forgiven"

4)  Miike Snow  ~  "Black And Blue"

5)  Robyn  ~  "Show Me Love"

6)  Eagle-Eye Cherry  ~  "Save Tonight"

7)  Lykke Li  ~  "I Follow Rivers"

8)  El Perro del Mar  ~  "Walk On By"

9)  Roxette  ~  "It Must Have Been Love"

10)  Maia Hirasawa  ~  "Mattis & Maia"

11)  Ace Of Base  ~  "The Sign"

12)  Neneh Cherry  ~  "Feel It"

13)  The Cardigans  ~  "Lovefool"

14)  The Tallest Man On Earth  ~  "Love Is All"

15)  ABBA  ~  "Dancing Queen"

Interesting Quotes By Famous People With Two Different-Colored Eyes

You can't always tell it from their pictures (sometimes they hide it with contacts), but all of the people below -- most living, two dead -- have a condition called heterochromia, which means that they have one eye that's a different color than the other. Here are some interesting quotes by people with this interesting condition....



1)  "Usually, if you're buried alive, that's gonna be the last time that happens, isn't it?"  ~  Alice Eve, actress

2)  "I'm a very kind of personable person and I love people."  ~  Josh Henderson, actor

3)  "I almost envy people who say whatever they want."  ~  Kate Bosworth, actress

4)  "I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion."  ~  Alexander The Great, leader/conqueror

5)  "You look at the floor and see the floor. I look at the floor and see molecules."  ~  Dan Aykroyd, actor

6)  "I really, truly believe in learning from other people's mistakes."  ~  Mila Kunis, actress

7)  "I'd love to do a character with a wife, a nice little house, a couple of kids, a dog, maybe a bit of singing, and no guns and no killing, but nobody offers me those kind of parts."  ~  Christopher Walken, actor

8)  "You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life - so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself."  ~  Jane Seymour, actress

9)  "If we read a book with the sun shining directly upon it, even if we do not injure the eyesight, we will disarrange the rate of adaptation, so that we will not be able for some time to see in a demi-obscurity. On the other hand, if we stay long in the dark, we may increase the sensibility of the retina so that a sudden return to daylight will be painful."  ~  Louis Émile Javal, scientist

10)  "My mother's five-foot-two, and I'll be honest with you - she's the only person I'm scared of."  ~  Kiefer Sutherland, actor

11)  "I used to lie in bed in my flat and imagine what would happen if there was a zombie attack."  ~  Simon Pegg, comedian

12)  "I used to have the worst head jerk; my hat would fly off sometimes. That's how violent it was. It was violent, real violent. I was so raw."  ~  Max Scherzer, baseball player

13)  "Even before I saw the pain twist his features into a terrible grimace, I knew that I'd hurt him. I'd had the same feeling while playing baseball as a child... when I had hit a home run."  ~  Jens Pulver, mixed martial artist

14)  "I would rather be having a burger and beers with my mates but I can't do that when I know I've got to dance."  ~  Michael Flatley, dancer/choreographer

15)  "When you think about it, Adolf Hitler was the first pop star."  ~  David Bowie, singer

16)  "We all have a moral obligation to leave this world a better place than the world that we've found."  ~  Tim McIlrath, singer/musician

Things I Find Fascinating: Alternative Names For 15 Countries Of The World

I don't know how interesting you will find this post to be. I think it's rather fascinating, but I could see how not everyone would think so. Anyway, here it is...

Many of the world's countries have alternative names. In other words, the names that we (in the Western Hemisphere, in particular) use to identify these countries are not actually the same country names used by the people who live there. Many of the official or traditional country names used by residents and native citizens sound or look similar to the names we are familiar with, but some are completely different. It's those completely different ones that I'd like to focus on here.

1) ALBANIA is more commonly known as Shqipëria.

2)  ARMENIA is known by its citizens as Hayastan.

3)  People from CROATIA would argue that they are actually from Hrvatska.

4)  EGYPT commonly refers to itself as the nation of Meṣr.

5)  GERMANY is better known by its native people as Deutschland.

6)  If you're actually from GREECE, you will probably tell people you are from Hellas.

7)  Many people from INDIA will tell you that their country is actually called Bhārat.

8)  You know all those "MADE IN JAPAN" labels you see on products? Well, they should actually read "Made in Nippon."

9)  People from LITHUANIA know the truth: they are proud to say that they are from Lietuva.

10)  The tiny country of MONTENEGRO is more commonly referred to by its inhabitants as Crna Gora.

11)  NORWAY says "No way! We are called Norge!"

12)  Folks from SWEDEN really wish you would call their country by its proper name: Sverige.

13)  The nation of POLAND is better know by the local yokels as Polska.

14)  If you took much Spanish in school, you may already know this one. But SPAIN is actually known to Spaniards as España.

15)  If you hail from SWITZERLAND and speak German, you would likely tell folks, "Ich bin aus der Schweiz." If you happen to be a French-speaking Swiss citizen, you'd probably say something like, "Je suis de la Suisse." If you're an Italian-speaking Swiss, you'd proudly declare, "Io sono dalla Svizzera." It must be really confusing to live in Switzerland...

Rhyme With Reason: 7 Things I Like (And 7 Things I Don't)

This will be the third entry in my "Rhyme With Reason" series. As with previous entries, I will list a number of things which all fall under a single theme. Each "thing" in the list will rhyme, but the "reasons" (or explanations) will not rhyme.


Today's theme will be "7 Things I Like, And 7 Things I Don't Like."  Here we go...


THINGS I DON'T LIKE:


1)  BAKING:  When I was younger -- okay, let's be honest, as recently as ten years ago -- I was actually afraid to stick my hand inside a hot oven. While I've conquered that fear and am able to use an oven the way it was intended to be used, I have still not yet ventured into the wonderful world of baking. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy it when other people are baking -- the smells are glorious, and the results are usually delicious. But there's something about the precision -- do everything exactly right or it all falls apart -- that scares me off. Maybe one day I'll try it and like it, but for now baking goes in the "don't like" list.


2)  PROMISE-BREAKING:  I rarely make promises I don't firmly believe I can keep. But sometimes I do, and I break them, and that bothers me a lot. Erring on the side of caution is, admittedly, a risk-free way to live, but I'd rather be reliable than be the giver of false hope.


3)  FAKING:  I like to be real as much as possible. But sometimes I'm not. Sometimes situations or circumstances make me feel forced to try to be someone other than I am, and I just go with it. And afterwards, I hate myself. I'd rather be a flawed me than a perfect somebody else.


4)  ACHING:  Sometimes after a good workout (I sorta remember what those are like, though it's been so long ago now), I feel achy all over. Sometimes just in specific places. And even though I know that aching is a sign of muscles getting worked -- no pain, no gain, so they say -- I still don't enjoy the aching. But sometimes it's necessary.


5)  DECISION MAKING:  I am notoriously bad at making decisions. "What would you like to eat?" I don't know. "What would you like to do?" I don't know. "What do you think I should do?" I don't know. I weigh all the options before deciding, and even then I wait for someone else to make the call. This is a problem, and I'm actively working on it, but I haven't licked it just yet.


6)  BELLYACHING:  I don't like it when I'm guilty of doing it myself, and I don't like having to hear other people doing it. Bellyaching doesn't actually solve any problems, it just makes you feel better about feeling bad.


7)  WAKING:  I am so not a morning person! In fact, most days I hit the snooze button for a minimum of forty-five minutes before actually getting out of bed. I have perfected the art of hitting the snooze in my sleep without ever opening my eyes. It takes at least two cups of coffee for me to even remember what my name is, and it takes a good two hours solid for me to be able to function as a productive human being. Sad, I know, but true.



THINGS I LIKE:


1)  RAKING:  I don't currently have a yard to speak of -- I have a paved patio with a few small flower boxes in it. So it's a rare occasion that I actually find myself raking leaves. But whenever I am doing so, I am in heaven (figuratively, not literally). I love the sound the rake makes as it scrapes through the leaves and grazes the ground. I love the sound the leaves make as they crinkle up and die a little more than they already have. And the little kid in me loves dive-bombing a leaf pile after it's been neatly stacked up (though I rarely act on this inclination anymore).


2)  PICTURE-TAKING:  In another life, I might have been a photographer. Even now, I will occasionally get the bug and take some artsy pictures that I'm rather proud of. But I know that it will always only be a hobby. I don't know enough, I'm not creative enough, and frankly, it's just too late now to do anything about it. But I still love taking pictures, and I'm sure I will continue to do so -- if only for my own enjoyment.


3)  SLAKING:  When I am thirsty, I do not prefer to remain so for long. I like to quench my thirst immediately and with as much liquid as I can comfortably fit in my prodigious belly. I would like to tell you that I drink water like it's going out of style, but that would be a lie. In the morning, I drink coffee (as aforementioned). During the work day, it's mostly soda (though three-fourths of the sodas I drink are diet, which ought to count for something, right?). At night, it's mostly tea and sometimes decaf coffee. As I type this, I am quite dry-mouthed, so I'm going to step aside for a second here and go get something to drink....Ah yes, much better now!


4)  MEMORY-MAKING:  I like doing things with people I love that make lasting memories. In the coming months and years, I am sure my wife and I will be making many wonderful memories with our son. Not all memories are good, of course, and I don't enjoy making bad memories (well, duh!). But the good memories, the life-changing experiences that your brain won't let you forget because they're awesome beyond words -- those are the one I not only like, but love to make.


5)  HANDSHAKING:  This may sound like an oddball choice of things to like, but it is what it is. Some people aren't too fond of shaking other people's hands -- it's probably a germ thing. Or maybe they just don't enjoy human contact. But I rather like it myself. Makes me feel like a "real man" to shake another person's hand firmly. I don't know why, it just does.


6)  FORSAKING:  At first glance, this too might seem like a strange thing to like to do. But when you consider a certain definition of the word "forsake" -- to give up something formerly held dear -- it might make a little more sense. There are many things that I've held dear in my life that I never should have. Maybe they were bad things. Maybe they weren't inherently bad, but I spent too much time doing them. But I forsook them -- I gave them up in favor of the things that matter more, namely those things that are eternal. I still have a lot of forsaking to do -- I'm not done yet. I am a work in progress. But if I regret the things I've had to forsake I'll never be able to move forward. And moving forward is an essential part of the seventh and final things that I like...


7)  REMAKING:  In Revelation 21:5, "He who sits on the throne" (and we all know who He is, right?) is quoted as saying, "Behold, I am making all things new." Well, thank God (literally!), because who I was -- and even who I am today -- is not who I want to be, and is not who He wants me to be. He's remaking me day by day into His image. I don't always help His cause -- sometimes I'm a downright stumbling block. But He won't give up on me, and I'm not planning on giving up on Him, either. What would be the point? He's never let me down yet, and I don't think He's going to start now.