Creepy Mascots, Vol. 2: Major League Baseball Mascots

This being part two in a series, I don't feel like writing a brand new intro for this entry, so I copied and pasted mine from last time. Color me lazy. If you missed Vol. 1, you can read it here. Enjoy!  ~  JH

RECYCLED INTRO:

I've always found sports team mascots a bit creepy. Maybe it's the oversized heads, the fixed facial expressions, the in-your-face-ness that's inherent in their interaction with fans like me who'd rather be left alone. (I don't particularly care for clowns for many of the same reasons.) While I'm not explicitly afraid of mascots – that would be ridiculous! – I'm also not fond of them. So consider this miniseries of posts a "face your fears" – or, rather, "face your aversions" – exercise. Perhaps you'll get a laugh out of these, or perhaps a nightmare. Either way, here they are...

 

 

 

How about we score some runs around here? If not, I'll eat you all!

 D. Baxter The Bobcat

(Arizona Diamondbacks)

Most bunnies are cute. This one looks evil!

 Junction Jack

(Houston Astros)

Run, sausages, run! Far, far away from me!

 The Racing Sausages (left to right):  Frankie 

Furter, Guido, Brett Wurst, Cinco, and Stosh

(Milwaukee Brewers)

A mascot that eats his fans? Not a good PR move, in my opinion.

 The Phillie Phanatic

(Philadelphia Phillies)

The Reds have not 1, not 2, but 3 creepy mascots. This one attacks children for fun.

Gapper

(Cincinnati Reds)

Look into my eyes. Now look into my mustache. You are getting very sleepy...

 Mr. Redlegs

(Cincinnati Reds)

No, Rosie, I don't want your autograph. And stop staring at me!

Rosie Red

(Cincinnati Reds)

Zombie Parrot is more like it. Stay away. Stay far away!

Pirate Parrot
(Pittsburgh Pirates)

Dude, don't look behind you! Better yet, run!!!

 Slider

(Cleveland Indians)

A crown-headed lion wielding a life-size hot dog rocket? That doesn't sit well with me.

Sluggerr

(Kansas City Royals)

Father, forgive me, for I am scared of you.

 The Swinging Friar

(San Diego Padres)

I am ominous-undetermined-green-thing. Hear me roar!

 Southpaw

(Chicago White Sox)

See you in your dreams, kiddo! Make that your nightmares!

 Billy The Marlin

(Miami Marlins)

Hanging out with scowly-faced larger-than-life socks is not my idea of a good time.

Lefty and Righty

(Boston Red Sox)

Hold your horses! That is one creepy mascot!

 Rangers Captain

(Texas Rangers)

Not only is this a really strange idea in general, it's also more than a bit unnerving.

 The Pierogis (from left to right): Jalapeño Hannah, 

Onion Oliver, Cheese Chester, & Sauerkraut Saul

(Pittsburgh Pirates)

Songs With "Take" In The Title

I'd love to be able to say – "You asked for it, and here it is!" – but who am I kidding? I'm probably more excited about these random collections of songs connected only by a common word in the titles than any of you, dear readers, are. That being said, I'm even fonder of this collection of songs than I was of the "Give" songs I posted last time around. There are songs for pretty much all musical tastes here. Unless you like reggae. There's no reggae. No rap, either, for that matter. Come to think of, there's also no blues music here. Well, let's just say there are songs for almost all musical tastes. Enjoy?  ~  JH

1)  A-ha  ~  "Take On Me"

2)  Rihanna  ~  "Take A Bow"

3)  The Police  ~  "Every Breath You Take"

4)  Carrie Underwood  ~  "Jesus, Take The Wheel"

5)  ABBA  ~  "Take A Chance On Me"

6)  MIKA  ~  "Relax, Take It Easy"

7)  Mary J. Blige  ~  "Take Me As I Am"

8)  Passion Pit  ~  "Take A Walk"

9)  Twisted Sister  ~  "We're Not Gonna Take It"

10)  JLS  ~  "Take A Chance On Me"  (Not the same as the ABBA song!)

11)  Amy Winehouse  ~  "Take The Box"

12)  Berlin  ~  "Take My Breath Away"

13)  Filter  ~  "Take A Picture"

14)  Phil Collins  ~  "Take Me Home"

15)  Fefe Dobson  ~  "Take Me Away"

16)  Karmin Music  ~  "Take It Away"

Songs With "Give" In The Title

Yes, this is another entry in my seemingly endless pseudo-series of "Songs With (Fill-In-The-Blank) In The Title." And yes, the next post will be "Songs With 'Take' In The Title." So, I'm predictable. What's wrong with that? I can say that, on this post and its follow-up, I took time to ensure the quality -- and not just the quantity -- of songs included. This is a really good collection of otherwise unrelated songs, if I do say so myself. Enjoy!  ~  JH


1)  Jason Mraz  ~  "I Won't Give Up"

2)  P!nk ft. Nate Ruess (of fun.)  ~  "Just Give Me A Reason"

3)  LeAnn Rimes  ~  "Give"

4)  Demi Lovato  ~  "Give Your Heart A Break"

5)  Whitney Houston  ~  "You Give Good Love"

6)  Breaking Benjamin  ~  "Give Me A Sign"

7)  The Classic Crime  ~  "What I'd Give Up"

8)  Backstreet Boys  ~  "All I Have To Give"

9)  Veronica Ballestrini  ~  "Don't Give Up On Me"

10)  Andrew Bird  ~  "Give It Away"

11)  AKS  ~  "Give It Back"

12)  Brandon Heath  ~  "Give Me Your Eyes"

13)  James Morrison  ~  "You Give Me Something"

14)  Tracy Chapman  ~  "Give Me One Reason"

15)  Racoon  ~  "Don't Give Up The Fight"

16)  The Advice  ~  "You Give Me"

Unintentionally Hilarious Tombstones

Never has my taste in humor been more questionable than at this very moment. If you don't laugh at these, feel free to throw your stones. If you do laugh, then you probably see what I was getting at here. The last picture ties it all together. Sort of.  ~  JH

Apparently, Constant's sister Diarrhea and her 

husband Dysen Tery are also buried nearby.

As best as I can read, these brothers died on Christmas Day

in an accident on the train tracks. Boy, talk about your Losers!

This is where Beer goes to die. Rest in peace, hops.

(Look, they even thought to put a barf pot right next to it!)

Whoa, you blinded me with science there. Warn a brother!

 

I'm guessing Mr. and Mrs. Whizzer can't be too far away.

The Butt Brothers – sounds like a really bad vaudeville act.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, good...

Suddenly, I'm hungry. I wonder why...

I guess this means there'll be no more sequels, huh?

So...where's the Wight Man?

Hey, that's no way to speak of the dead!

Sure, sure, but...was it EPIC?

It's alive, it's alive, it's alive! Aaauuuggghhh!!!

Whomever was in charge of designing this nifty 

tombstone was a...well, you get the point.

I'm sorry for your...loss of Loss?

Everything old is new again. Bling, Bling!

That about sums it up.

Seriously, it's gotta be lunchtime, right?

Oh, yes. You're dead.

I'm surprised this gravestone isn't flatter.

If I had a name like Ludwina Puke, I think I'd go ahead and die too.

Seriously, Johanna. Wasn't there a nice man 

named Smith you could have married?  *sigh*

That's a pretty accurate description, too.

What is this, some kind of mass grave for a brothel?

You were just having a little fun, you said. It 

wouldn't kill you, you said. Ha! I said. Told ya so!

This tasteless post is probably one of the Worst ones I've ever done.

Let me see...is it...Jimmy Hoffa, maybe?

It's okay to laugh. It's a coping mechanism.

Songs With "Go" In The Title

As promised in yesterday's post, here's its counterpart: a collection of songs linked only by the fact that they all contain the word "Go" in their titles. There are a two or three songs on the list that I grudgingly included, due to the artist's popularity or the inherent, nostalgic charm of the song – you'll probably figure out which ones I'm referring to – but most of these are really good songs by talented artists who deserve their spot here. Enjoy!  ~  JH

1)  Passenger  ~  "Let Her Go"

2)   Lights  ~  "Second Go"

3)  RED  ~  "Let Go"

4)  Stacy Clark  ~  "Touch & Go"

5)  Justin Bieber  ~  "Never Let You Go"

6)  Florence + The Machine  ~  "Never Let Me Go"

7)  Céline Dion  ~  "My Heart Will Go On"

8)  The Offspring  ~  "Days Go By"

9)  The Peasants  ~  "Letting Go"

10)  Wham!  ~  "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"

11)  Grouplove  ~  "Ways To Go"

12)  Keith Urban  ~  "Days Go By"

13)  Madi Diaz  ~  "Let's Go"

14)  The Calling  ~  "Wherever You Will Go"

15)  Fleetwood Mac  ~  "Go Your Own Way"

16)  The Ting Tings  ~  "Shut Up And Let Me Go"