Things I Find Appalling: Blatantly Racist Vintage Ads

The other day, when I posted a collection of "Outrageously Sexist Vintage Ads," I told you there would be more of these. And unfortunately, there are. Today's installment in this mini-series displays the unbelievably racist attitudes toward minorities that were displayed through advertising in the "good ol' days." And I use that term as sarcastically as possible.

Some of these are blatantly racist, while others simply propagate long-standing stereotypes of certain people groups. Either way, they're all insensitive at best and horrible at worst. By posting these ads, I am in no way advocating the messages therein. On the contrary, I am trying to point out, in unmistakable ways, that though these might not be the "good ol' days," times have definitely changed for the better over time.

I had planned to keep my commentary to a minimum with these, because I think they pretty much speak for themselves; but they made me too mad, and I couldn't help myself. Again, if you take my comments seriously, that's not my fault. I'm being sarcastic and satirical to make a point. That being said, prepare to be offended...

My, my, that's some powerful soap! Just add water, and – tada! – 

you're Caucasian! Wow! I wonder what it can do for white people?

Elliott's White Veneer has a similar effect, apparently.

Amazing! Pears' Soap is also able to accomplish the task of 

race changing. What a shame that these products didn't last,

or there wouldn't be any minorities to be worried about today!

Even further proof that all black people secretly long to be white.

Gotta love those racial stereotypes, right? Lawsee, yes!

I don't know what nuthin' is, cuz I's just a ig'nant Negro. I ain't even write 

this sign. It was wrote up by a white person. Y'all know I can't read an' write.

Mmm, mmm, makes good fried chicken. Need I say mo'?

Dis sho' be some friendly feelin' coffee! Hang on a second, why are 

we talking like this? We're all white people here. Just because we have a 

little blackface makeup on doesn't mean we have to talk like savages!

Nuthin' but the best for you white folks. Now you just

enjoy that root beer whiles I shine yo' shoes, ya heah?

Lawd, child, you sho' does! I bet that thang'll cook up a mean fried chicken!

"'Yas'm,' says Sam, now as smooth as chocolate custard..."

I am vehemently shaking my head at this right now. Are you?

Because we all know that ALL black people love watermelon...

Makes a great gift for white children who are amused by the flashing 

white eyes and faces of perfect happiness of darkey babies. Packs 

conveniently in included watermelon. Toy fried chicken sold separately.

It sho' am, Uncle Remus.

"Colored kids make a costume vastly more attractive..." ?????

"Exclusively for the Best Colored People of St. Louis..."

We couldn't bring ourselves to draw Colored People in

fine evening attire, so we added this clip art of some 

elegant-looking White People. You understand, right?

 "Dr. Scott's Electric Hair Brush will not save an 

Indian's scalp from his enemies..." But we decided to 

include a picture of a fierce-looking, scalp-hungry 

Indian anyway to scare you into buying our product.

Aha! Now the truth comes out. Even Native Americans

secretly long to be white. Or "pale-faced," as it were.

I've heard – and I don't know if this is true or not – but I've heard that

you don't have to be German to love real pumpernickel bread, either.

4 out of 5 men want Van Heusen Oxfords. That fifth 

guy wants to rip out your heart – right through your 

Van Heusen shirt – and eat it, chamber by chamber, with 

a splash of hot sauce, then wash it down with your spinal fluid.

Wait a second, what happened to Juicy Jew, African Apricot,

and Mexican Mint? Those were my favorite Funny-Face flavors!

It's a well-known American fact that all Chinese

people look and dress like this guy. Ask anyone!

And every Chinese person's son looks like this little guy.

No, but I did just see a blatantly racist vintage ad...